And The School Year Just Started

There I was sitting in the car with Mariam and Umar on a Saturday waiting for the other three to get out of school. They had their first Saturday class to make up for some of the days missed due to the closure by the ministry. The phone rings and I am told I need to see the Principle of Jihad's school tomorrow morning. I breath deeply and think "this can't be good" and set a time for 9am.

I meet the kids after school and I spot Jihad from a distance walking slowly. He has a note in his hand and walk towards me and I ask "What happened?"

"I got in a fight. "

"What?"

"Ok look I was going in the school after you dropped me off and I bumped into this kids leg and I said sorry and walked off with my friends. He thought I was laughing at him and he chased after me, pushed me up against the locker and called me a bastard so I punched him in the face"

"Good" I don't think that is what the Principle was expecting one of Jihad's parents to say but it is the same comment Mr. Man gave too.

This year hasn't been without incident for both Hannah and Jihad but nothing to this extent but I guess it is inevitable. All of our kids are now being taught that if someone hits them they are to hit back. They need to stand up for themselves and not be bullied. We have had continual problems over the years and this year didn't seem to get better for Jihad or Hannah.

The first issue was with Jihad who had some nasty mouth girl dropping the F bomb at his work table on a constant basis. But not only that she proceeded to tell him "f-you" but also "f your mother". Nice mouth this hijabi girl has on her. I told him to tell her to stop, which she did and after two days of this he had enough. He told her stop or I will tell and her response "go ahead I won't get in trouble". So Jihad went to the school counselor and told him who in turn told the Principle and Jihad left that encounter believing that the Principle didn't believe him that he let the girls go and this was after this brazen girl walked into the Principle's office and said "F you" to Jihad (yes she did) so he could hear it.

The principle denies that this is the exact set of events and is confused why children don't trust him enough to come to him with problems. Mind you he is proud of being 'harsh' and is known for yelling to the point of absolutely scarring the wits out of Hannah "He yells louder than Baba". Nothing happened to the girl and he yelled at Jihad and I told the principle that Jihad's perception, true or not, is that the girls got away with it.

"she had to apologize in front of me" he insisted although only for cussing Jihad in his office not for the things she said before or about me.

"Yet she cussed him as soon as they left and said 'see I told you nothing would happen' so how do you think Jihad felt?"

Let me tell you this meeting did not go well for a few reasons one was his inability to actually hear what I was saying and just think I was attacking him. I am telling him as a parent what the children in the school perceive of him as the Principle, he took that personal and thought he could blame me. BAD MOVE!

But back to the fight, according to the Principle Jihad is an "honest boy, he tells the truth even if it is against himself. But he acted in anger not appropriate. This other boy, also honest and very quiet just went to Jihad and put his hands on his shoulders and admitted to calling Jihad a bad name and than Jihad punched him in the face twice."

Make sense? Not to me.

"So you say Jihad is honest?"

"yes he is"

"And is Jihad known to act out of anger and hit boys?"

"No"

"Is he known as a trouble maker or a bully?"

"No."

"But what your telling me is that this boy, after Jihad ran into him by accident, calmly walked up to Jihad put his hands on Jihad's shoulders and called him a bad name that you say Jihad didn't even hear and than Jihad punched him in the face?"

"Yes"

"That makes no sense to me at all and I can't accept that."

I don't think he liked that, nor the fact he had two parents in his office saying quite honestly that yes we have told our children to hit back. That Jihad was not in trouble with us and that we don't believe he was totally in the wrong. Was punching him in the face a step beyond? Could have been I wasn't there but I wouldn't take too kindly to a boy coming and pushing me up against a locker. And unlike the principle I don't think this boy just was as calm as could be and did no harm to Jihad. This is the first time Jihad has acted out like this in school so he must have felt threatened enough by this boy.

"So did Jihad chase after this boy and beat him more?"

"No"

"But you want me to believe that Jihad just punched him in the face for no reason and allowed the boy to walk off?"

No it didn't go well at all and I have a feeling any future meetings won't be all that pleasant either.

Now what is really funny about this whole ordeal and an example that the Principle used to show us Jihad's honesty about the situation, however don't forget he doesn't believe Jihad when he says the boy pushed him hard up against the locker but he went on about how honest he is. The boy who got hit wasn't going to say anything it was Jihad who told on himself.

"So after you punched him what happened" I asked

"He went to his friends."

"Did he tell?"

"No"

"So how did they find out?"

"Well my hand hurt and I went to the nurse for ice, she asked how I hurt it I told her I punched a boy in the face"

He has a two day in school suspension and parents that stood by him although we told him next time to respond in kind. "He pushes you push, don't take the first swing" Again not what the principle was looking for.

Helping Sinan

I was actually going to make a long post detailing some of the costs that parents of children with specific needs tend to have. How things work in Saudi in regards to finding the help, than having the help that is there available to you when you a. aren't covered by insurance and b. can't afford private care.

But I'm tired and unmotivated to really do such a writing at this point. And each day I put it off is one more day I put off telling you about how you can help Sinan get the care he needs in the US. So stop by Abu Sinan's blog and check out his post and plea for assistance to get his son the help he requires.

I will be back with the post I had in mind, a long one and I'm tired from driving. Kids have a six day school week in order to catch up on days missed so I'm going to be a bit out of it.

Umar Update

So I know that some of you read just because of Umar. Forget about me and what I blog about it is all about the boy. Don't worry my feelings aren't hurt he is my favorite too. So without further delay I'll give you an update on how my boy is doing.




Yup that is right my boy is walking and doing it very well I might add. He tends to keep his legs spread wide apart to keep his balance and at times reminds me of a little robot walking about. But the fact is he is walking everywhere at 19 months. He has been working hard on this for the past month and he has a ways to go, he isn't running yet, but I'm so very proud of my boy. Although this does mean that he gets to places I wish he didn't.



One of those places is the couch! Yes mothers of the world this short little boy with his short little legs swings them up high (thanks to his flexibility that would put any gymnast in awe) and pulls his little strong self up on my couch. When I'm sitting there I will swing his little leg off and he puts it right back up only for me to swing it off again. He than has the nerve to get angry and yell at me with the fiercest of faces and put his leg right back up. Strong willed he is and happy as a clam when he finally gets up on the couch. He knows how to scoot down but sometimes doesn't judge the distance properly so he has to be helped or he'll take a tumble.

My plan was to start him in speech therapy but we ran into a bit of a hiccup with that. I wanted to take him back to the same therapist I took Leyna to in Saudi. There was talk of trying to bring her to Bahrain once a week for some of the other ladies in town who have children with DS. Mr. Man would have provided a driver for her making it that much easier but I received a message that she couldn't come. I gave her a call to find out she is six months pregnant and will be stopping her practice for about four months. Of course after she gives birth we can't expect her to want to come to Bahrain with a new born. I congratulated her and told her I would look for someone else. She was really upset because there were no other options for the ladies in Saudi.

So I began my search at the Children's Academy here in Bahrain. I have spoken of this school before an British based special needs school. I remember reading they had a speech therapist and also had after school appointments. So I gave them a call and asked if they have services for children who weren't enrolled in the school, happily she said "YES". A wonderful word to hear folks when it comes to therapy options for the boy. BUT since the ministry of education shut the doors for all preschools, KG schools and special needs school until Nov. 1st they were unable to take him until after that date. I'm waiting now for them to finish their first week of school, get a schedule together and call me back letting me know that Umar is ready for action. They cost 25 BD a visit (250 SR or 67 USD) which is more than what I paid in Saudi by 10 BD (100 SR or 27 USD). But I'm hoping that they will be set up better for such a young boy and do so well I'd be willing to pay double that if they asked.

That will be his only therapy as I have stopped taken him to Physical therapy. Since he is walking, pulling himself up, and doing so many movements that we take for granted such as bending at the west and picking something up from the floor and pulling himself back to a standing position, I honestly don't feel the need. One Saturday when Mr. Man is off I think I'll take him in to see Bayzura for an evaluation and she can give me some tips on how to get him to bring his legs in closer when walking.

I'm also planning on finding a preschool for him next year. I want him to become a bit more strong in his balance before I do that in order for him to keep up with the other kids. But I think putting him in a few hours a day several times a week will help him in interacting with other children without resorting to violence. Yes my boy is violent. He isn't biting as much, he didn't take to me plopping him down on his bottom when he did so that is a good thing. However when little kids try to come up to him in the park and want to kiss him on the cheek (He is a baby to them) he will swat them in the face as to say get away from me. He also holds his own on the playground with children older than him which is a good thing and his best friend is an 8 yr old boy. I think that says not just a lot about Umar but also a lot about that boy that he would take to a small child like he has.

Umar is also taking an interest in following what others are doing which is a wonderful thing when it comes to sign language. He is starting to really want to follow along and is trying which is great for his development. He also is very smart and understands how things should work not that he can always get it right. Such as shapes going in certain spots in a shape container, but he gets frustrated when the star won't fit into the circle than pulls my hand to do it. Alba unfortunately gives in easily and does it for him although I've told her to stop. He has to be forced to do it on his own and figure it out. By the end of her vacation with consistency with Mama I think he'll do a bit better with that.

So my boy continues to surprise me in the most wonderful of ways. And I have no doubts he'll continue to do so the rest of his life.

Where Am I?

Well in the car most of the time from three to four hours a day as a matter of fact. Yes I'm now the family driver and I'm annoyed with it. Mariam started school this week which means my driving schedule has become totally insane

6:30-6:45 am we leave the house usually on the latter end of that because I have to remind kiddos to brush their teeth, their hair, and tuck in shirts. Did you know that a boy tucking in his shirt means he is a nerd in their school? So what looking like a slob is the new cool look? Brat kids I tell ya.

Back at the house around 7:45-8:00 depending on traffic and I can't say enough how people just don't know how to drive or are rude drivers. Here is a clue.. your not the only one that matters in the world!

Than I'm back out at 12 noon to collect Mariam from the mob of moms that think only their children are worthy of anything. I now wait in the car till they are gone and I'm left with as little contact with parents, maids and drivers as possible.

1pm -1:30 we are back at the house, depending if I have to pick anything up

2:30 I'm on the road again to go collect Hannah and Leyna and Jihad unless he has after school soccer. Back home between 3:30 and 4 again depending on the idiots on the road.

If Jihad has soccer I'm out of the door at 4pm to collect him and drag myself through the door to do the whole dinner, homework, bedtime routines that will drive anyone mad.

Now if this wasn't all annoying enough I get the added bonus of loosing the nanny for a month. Her parents are coming to Saudi from Morocco thanks to her brother who got a visit visa for them (he works for Mr. Man). So they have 30 days and so does Abla who smiled as she went from a six day visit with them till a full month and committed to staying with us until July when the kids are finished school.

So not only am I loosing help with the kids, which means I have to fight Umar during homework time when usually Abla can take him and Mariam to the park or give their baths. But I get the added bonus of putting that poor boy in the car for the same amount of time I am. Nice huh?? I need a driver for this month.

Wondering why the maid will be no help with Umar? HA I can't even leave that woman alone with my MIL without it being a problem. I was about to toss her out last week over some stupid drama she caused over the way she behaves towards Mr. Mans mother. But that is a whole other blog post in itself.

Anyway I have a slew of things I want to say, more on that woman journalist (sentenced to 60 lashes than pardoned but I'll give the full scoop latter), child custody laws and its failure to protect children, and the ever important update about Umar.

So that is where I am in the car usually yelling at some idiot driver. Although I'm trying to relax and make it as stress free as possible, but than I drive on roads in Bahrain and know that is an impossible experience.

And This Is Why!

I just posted on children not running errands alone and that in Saudi it is not uncommon to see young children running around a neighborhood unsupervised. And just so I am clear on how dangerous this is.

Man who raped 9 children arrested Arab News

JEDDAH: Jeddah police arrested an African national who allegedly kidnapped and raped nine Asian children in two Jeddah districts, a local daily reported. The rapist threatened his victims with harm if they reported the rape. Police received a large number of reports from families complaining their children had been raped. The rapist targeted children aged between 9 and 12. He used to wait near a grocery shop and monitor children playing in the street. The man then took his victims to an isolated street before raping them. Northern and Al-Safa police center launched a massive manhunt and distributed a description of the rapist. Secret police eventually arrested a number of people who matched the description. In a lineup, some of the victims managed to identify the rapist. The police center recorded six cases while the Al-Safa center recorded three.

Saudi Gazette gives other details on this case.


Boys as young as nine running freely on the streets. I am angry every single time I see such small children just out running around with no one watching them. And there is no shortage of evil people that are willing to take advantage of this situation and take the innocence from a child and scar them for life.

Prove Innocence?

Being an American I'm familiar with the quote "innocent until proven guilty". Now the American legal system surely isn't without fault and at times some are assumed guilty but instructions given to the jury are quite clear that a prosecutor has to prove the persons guilt. I'm sure one can argue how reliable the American justice system is, jury by ones peers, prejudice and racism, and economic disadvantage may all and do play into innocent people being found guilty of crimes they didn't commit.

What is interesting to me, not only as an American but as a Muslim who firmly holds to the believe that the Islamic legal system is based on the idea of assumed innocence until one is found to be guilty or confesses their guilt. That Saudi, one that claims to uphold the Islamic legal theory in their courts (although one can argue, and rightly, that it is one narrow interpretation rather than being in total spirit of Islam to begin with) that one is asked to prove their innocence.

Such is the case with the female LBC reporter who is being brought to court for her involvement, or lack there of, of the 'sex braggarts' t.v spot. She is assumed guilty and is being asked by the court to prove her innocence. That she, and two other women, are being charged at all I find questionable. These low ranking part time reporters aren't decision makers at LBC. They aren't the producers or company executives who make the decisions on what to air and what not to air. So why choose just them? Easy targets of course, and they are women to the idea that Saudi women are involved in broadcasting this mans interview is probably just as appalling to some as the man they interviewed.

To catch up some of my readers, LBC is a Lebanese based broadcasting group that had a few offices in Saudi. They air various news shows and other programs all in Arabic. This Saudi man Abdul Jawad decided to openly discuss his sex exploits, and he lives in Saudi, on the air. You can see the video for yourself although it is in Arabic. I won't even comment on his "red room" with teddy bears but I do wonder what his concoction to get women in the mood is and have to wonder how many he took advantage of with it. He was sentenced in Saudi to five years in prison, 1000 lashes and lost his car and his cell phone, not that they matter much after he is in jail. I feel bad for his mother who related how is is a 'good boy' and recites Qur'an and there is some mix up. She evidently didn't know this divorced father of four spent his time roaming the streets for women.

I've mentioned before that things go on in Saudi that many don't want to admit. Men and women do hook up, plenty of booty calls even though people deny it. This man has brought out of hiding what many of us know. Men cruise for women and girls and they find willing participants to join them for sex. Yes people are outraged this man showed his sex toys on tv but he is one of many roaming the streets night and day that no one really does anything about. They use blue tooth, the chase women in malls, the harass women going out to eat. We see it all the time it is no secret so I suggest Saudi society wake up to that fact.

Should the man be lashed? Well considering what he did is against the law in Saudi yes. If nothing else for his stupidity to go and publicly put his face to his exploits as it was something to be proud of in Saudi society. No matter how many times he blames it on LBC for putting him in a 'bad light' during the interview doesn't change his words, his red room, his toys, or his bragging of having so many women.

I do question that the reporters or any low level employee should be brought forward with criminal charges. They don't make the decisions to air such an episode they are only gathering information, or interviews, in order for their executives to make the final decisions. That this man chose to say what he did and a broadcasting station used it doesn't surprise me. I'm sure their ratings went over board. And why should a reporter be held accountable for something that goes on daily by too many Saudi men on a daily basis? This is a problem in the society, this is happening, they don't make it happen they only report it. If ministries or citizens are angry, offended and upset about this is it really the reporters fault? Would it really be better to ignore what is going on instead of bringing it to the publics attention?

If these women reporters are at fault with airing things that shouldn't have been is it really a criminal issue where they could be subject to jail and lashes? Or is this a matter for the Ministry of the media to handle with fines against LBC and its executives and the reporters if they find that their choices were in violation of the regulations laid down by the media laws.

At the very least these women who are being accused should be accepted as innocent until proven that they in fact held the executive powers to air this episode for the world to see. And if the overall society of Saudi starts to deal with the sexual issues that are going on in Saudi due to this program isn't such a program worth it? But sadly I'm sure these women will be lashed and the society will continue to ignore what is an increasing problem.

Children Shouldn't Run Errands

There are a few issues I would love to see changed when it comes to parenting in Saudi. Near the top of my list is the fact that adult parents, especially mothers, use their small children to run errands to local neighborhood shops. I'm sure for some it seems safe enough, it does for a nephew of Mr. Mans (yes the same one who won't tell his wife to buckle up). A local little mini mart type store that is in the neighborhood maybe a few houses down or around the block where one would pick up those daily items like milk or eggs. It may seem harmless, a few minutes for a small child to run to the store, get those eggs and run back. But a few minutes is all it takes for someone looking to harm children to snatch your child.

Mariam will be five in December (inshallah) and I only let her play next door alone and even then she is checked up on several times. She isn't allowed to the compound park alone and we live in a gated villa compound. I certainly would never choose her to go run down to a mini market and run my errand even if it was just down the street. Many however don't think the same way but luckily this little girl was able to fight back and escape. But that a parent doesn't give thought to sending a five year old child on an errand is common and she won't be the last little girl to get abducted.

I always mention to Mr. Man my horror as I look on at young children, especially boys, who run the streets without an adult in sight. And I'm not talking teenagers, but rather young children who have free rein to go anywhere they please. He usually remarks "we did it as children" but is Saudi the same as it was when he grew up? He recalls a time of safety, where everyone in the neighborhood knew everyone else. A smaller town not over run with strangers and fast cars. A time when the perversion that exists in Saudi today was totally unknown to him. Such times have changed long ago and it isn't safe for children to run around the streets or be sent on errands because a parent is too lazy to get off their bums to go with them or instead of them.

Sadly it isn't unusual to read in the papers where a child is abducted and raped by some perverted man who seeks out children who are alone. No Saudi doesn't hold a monopoly on this but it exists and parents need to wake up to this fact and safe guard their children a bit more. Rein in those boys who run the streets with no supervision don't use your children to run errands and keep a better watch on your children.

It could be that I'm over protective but at least my children are safe and I know where they are.