Short On Spare Time

As Mr. Man was preparing to take another trip to Syria after being home for only a week he sat and told me of a couple that just had a baby. The father is an accountant that works in Mr. Mans office and this is their first child. He went on to tell me how he really felt for them he being 25 and the wife being all of about 18. They have no family here and haven't a clue as to what to do for the baby. The baby cried and they didn't know how to react so Mr. Man said "feed him" and laughed that they were just that clueless. He also said how they thought feeding an infant regular milk was the thing to do and Mr. Man, the experienced father, filled them in on formula.



I listened and thought back to when the twins were born, how blessed I was to have my mother living with us. Of course I had taken care of children prior to giving birth so I knew milk was a no go and did tons of reading before they were born. Well versed in the arguments for natural parenting which included wearing your baby, breast feeding, cloth diapers, and co sleeping. Mr. Man snapped me out of my day dream with the statement "If you have spare time go over to the hospital and see them. They are on the same floor as..." I cut him off. "SPARE time?" I looked at him as if he was nuts, because he was. This experienced father still doesn't get all that I do in a day. "I have five kids who has spare time?" Suddenly his expression changed to a man who realized he put his foot in his mouth once again.



I would love some spare time and not have it be a rushed few minutes trying to catch up on a few dozen things I've been wanting to do. If I had spare time I would do one of two things, neither of which include trying to rescue new parents from their new world of parenting. Not that I would mind trying to help the mother out, letting her know it isn't as scary as it seems, at least not with new borns. But I'm short on spare time and have a very long list of things I want to do and need to do. Getting my house in order is on the top of the list.



After cooking for the family last night I had Mr. Man hold Umar while I tackled the dishes and cleaned up the left overs. He came into the kitchen "Let my mother do that" which normally I would. Now many in this culture would find it offensive that I have this "old woman" helping in the kitchen at night. In fact we had a bunch of Mr. Mans nieces come to visit me after Umar was born and they knew I got rid of the maid. "Who cleans up the kitchen?" was one of the many questions they asked. I told them it is a communal effort and on many nights you'll find Mr. Mans mother washing some of the pots and pans that were left behind. They looked at me horrified, like how dare I ask this old woman to do something, anything, that required any type of physical effort.



I know they were a bit offended but I explained we have a dish washer and it isn't so much that she can't handle it. She may go slower, might not wash as well as I would like at times, and puts away dishes in places I'll never find them. I also noted she does nothing all day long, absolutely nothing. She sleeps until noon, walks from one spot to another and sits in one chair or another. There are three places you find her, sitting, in the bathroom or praying. She doesn't walk, isn't active and is basically sitting watching as the days run into each other. I as an American and a woman find this to be an awful practice in this culture. So having her help in the kitchen is nothing I find horrifying or wrong, she needs to do some type of physical activities.



I protested Mr. Mans suggestion I have her finish washing the dishes last night simply because I wanted it done the way I wanted. As I let others do things it isn't done the way I want it done, like it done, or feel it is the best way to do it. I spent some time earlier as I was preparing dinner washing down the counters and cupboards, cleaning the floors, and cleaning all the little nooks that seem to pass everyone else by. The kitchen, last night, represented a feeling of me totally loosing control of my house so I wanted to focus on this, even if it was just the kitchen. I don't think Mr. Man (or many men) would understand what it means to a housewife who looses control over her house. The very center of what all my life tends to focus around. This house is where I am everyday doing all the things I need to do. And it goes beyond just having a clean home or picking up clutter. This is where my family comes to have comfort, support and normality. To feel as if I'm loosing control over it is devastating because it feels as if I'm slowly loosing control over my life.



I don't expect Mr. Man to understand why, in any spare time, I would want to organize a closet, clean a kitchen, or put away those bags of things that have accumulated outside my bedroom door. For him hiring someone else is sufficient or letting someone else do it even if it isn't as you like. It doesn't seem to bother him that and the end of a week I look around my house and see a total mess and leaves me to wonder if I've accomplished anything. In this desire to have it organized and running smoothly is a desire to see my family happy a mostly unselfish motivation but lets face it part of it is selfish no matter how much one would like to argue otherwise.



But for a totally selfish indulgence of my free time I would rather be scrapping. I haven't scrapped since right before Umar was born and I miss it so much. Add in that yesterday was National Scrapbooking Day complete with loads of sales in both digital and traditional scrapping stores. For the past few months I've been stocking up on some items that I want to get to for some hybrid scrapping. I've taken an interest in this mix of digital and traditional because it is not only something I can do but the girls just love to join in. They add flowers, choose ribbons and even have their own traditional scrapbooking projects that they love to do. I have so many things I want to get to but simply no time to get to it.

Add in that I've been horrible about taking pictures and this after having taken the photography course in Bahrain. For whatever reason most of my pictures are coming out horrible, probably a mixture of a moving baby and horrible indoor lighting. By the time I can actually sit down and scrap I won't have any good pictures of Umar to actually scrap. I've bought the perfect kit complete with a tag book (free with purchase) which I think will be just perfect for Umar's baby book. This not only requires time to sit and scrap but also pictures so I must get out of this photography slump and soon.


One of the projects I wanted to do was to create a custom name chip board book. Living in Saudi I'm quickly learning to adapt to a limitation of physical scrapping supplies and decided I would attempt to create such a book with whatever materials I could find. I wanted to do the name of each of my children for a fun hybrid project. I was planning to do this over the summer, the same time when I'll be stuck in the house with five children and inshallah moving if I ever do find a house. never say I don't dream big! But being a woman who is short on time you couldn't imagine how excited I was to come along this product.


This is a real time saver for me because I can have someone else do it and actually do it properly. No more worrying about how I'm going to cut letters from whatever heavy board I can find (no chipboard here). No more concerns about my time being so limited that I would never complete the project that I wanted to do. With limited time I'm taking the shortest route possible. And at least with this I'm looking forward to someone completing the project, way better than I ever could.

No with five children in the house time is not something that I have a lot of, at least not yet. Sure I might gripe here and there but I do sit at the end of the day and remind myself that these times will go by so quickly. One day I'll sit back and wish I had more time, not to clean and organize a house or even to scrap but more time to enjoy the stages that my children are in right now. For all too soon these days will be gone forever in the past.