Get OUT!

Having multiple children in a car who are all around the same age can get absolutely nerve wracking. I'll be the first to admit I can completely understand the feelings of this mom however where we will strongly depart in our treatment towards our children is that I would never actually leave them. Putting them out of the car is one thing leaving them out of your sight on the side of the road is a whole other deal that I don't agree with. And while I totally get that bickering siblings is enough to make any dictator of an oppressive country crumble I do hold that a mother is the parent the one who is supposed to be better equipped to making responsible decisions.

I admit it I have physically pulled one screaming child and left her on the curb at my front door. It was Leyna and as sweet as that girl can look on this blog she has a deafening scream that can bring anyone to their knees. She doesn't show it to everyone in fact she saves the very best for her family who would rather go without such a sight. And there was one day in the car that I had reached my limit. I know the driver thought I lost it but I was about to beat anyone down that uttered anything of higher enlightenment. I took her and physically brought her out of the car, sat her on the curb and ran back to the car as quickly as my big butt could move and left her there screaming. She woke the dead but she wasn't hurt, she was safe at her home, and under no threat to the dangers of strangers in the world.

I would never have left her on a street and took off, although I may say it to do it is a whole other deal. Jihad has tested my willingness to kick him out of the car after being under threat for a number of years. Usually it was his twin defender Hannah who would scream if I had the car stopped and opened the door telling him to "GET OUT!!". I would of course never have given him the boot on the street corner but he didn't know that and Hannah sure enough believed it. He would surrender and act like a decent child at least until we made it home where his tail would start to show.

Now that Jihad is older and more of a smart mouth than ever he has decided to test how far I'm willing to take it. One day not that long ago the boy was picking on his sisters non stop and it was a long 30 minute drive home from school and I was sitting in the middle of traffic on a road under construction. I was annoyed and tired "GET OUT" he was told if he couldn't behave. "Alright I WILL" he answered back "Go on then" was my reply. "I will" he sad boldly "I know my way home" his threat was set. "Then get going see ya when you get there!" No way would he get out and walk home. Than it happened he opened the door. "Boy you better shut that!!" He won and it is a threat that doesn't work with him anymore.

A threat something all parents do.."if you don't... I will..." and the more extreme of threats are empty ones. We know it when the words pass our lips and we might even laugh at ourselves thinking "I'm such an idiot". Parents are human, we are faulty, and we say and do things we can regret at some point. And in frustration we can say some strange things but being parents we can claim a higher status so we don't have to explain it all. In the moment it all makes sense and we are allowed those times which we turn to ourselves and ask "Did I just say that?".

I'm a parent that believes that at times children need to learn the hard way. I will walk away from tantrums in a market and even make it to the next isle before a little one is sullenly reunited with me minus whatever it is he/she wanted in the first place. I don't give into the stomping of feet, screams, cries, or whines. I will walk away like I don't know you and have been known to leave my children in a store at the mall. I give full warning "I'm leaving NOW!" and walk out. I've even gone so far as to hide from a safe distance and have enjoyed the look of a child thinking "I shouldn't have done that"when they figure out I'm gone.

Not once however has my child gone out of my sight willingly. Sure they like to play games I did it to my own mother who had to lock down a department store because I was hiding in a clothes rack. I hid well and totally aged her a few years that afternoon of shopping. I am of course paying for it now with Mariam who makes my heart stop beating on a consistent basis while we are in a store. She hides in between clothes and says nothing. I can scream and yell and she'll sit quietly. But to willingly loose sight of her inside of my home doesn't happen often let alone outside where she is subject to the potential horrors of other peoples evil beings.

This woman crossed the line when she drove around the block a block that was evidently busy because it was enough time for someone to walk off with her ten year old. I have two ten year olds neither of whom I would leave and go around a block. Her child was in no way mature enough to be left alone as is evident with her walking off with a stranger to get ice cream. That is a predators dream and something that should make every parent (or decent human beings) stop and think of the possible perversion that could have victimised that young girl.

But perhaps it is me, I am same woman who will watch other peoples children when they are without a parent and should be. I will follow along a young crying child even at a distance to ensure he/she is safe. I see that not all do this for some other strangers just walk on by but I would hope that more often than not that people would linger and watch keeping a close eye, although unseen to the child at the moment, to ensure his/her safety. It is sad that this mother, although educated, can make such a stupid decision and not extend to her child the same watchful eye many of us would for a child that isn't our own.

Yes my threats will continue and I'll follow through on some. But I will not go as far as this woman and allow my eyes to willingly leave my child and potentially subject them to the horrors that are in our world. My hope is that this mother will be punished is some way and that her daughter will be safe under the watchful eyes of strangers if her mother is unwilling to do it herself.