From Bad To Worse

If I ever talk to my brother again after this visit it will be a miracle. I thought things could get better but they have been worse and of course the entire thing is my fault. My brother suffers from delusions of always being the victim add in the fact he believes the entire world owes him and it matters not what you say or do you will never get through to him.

What sucks in all of this is not that I as a grown woman have to deal with the fact that my brother is an absolute arse and come to accept that this is a relationship that can never be fixed. For goodness sakes the man lives in the past and is jealous because our father treats me differently than him (make no mention that he treats his father like crap for he is the victim remember). I guess I'm not missing much because we never really did get along even as kids. But I figured as adults who are supposed to learn and grow and become better people. See I had hopes, quickly smothered by the fact that my brother is self consumed the likes of which I wouldn't think possible in a person. I have to realize that I've become a much different person, with different outlooks on life and different values than him and just let it go.

However I have five children, seven if you count his two that he leaves with me day after day, in all of this and they don't understand why he is ignoring them. He hasn't spent any time with them at all and contrary to what he believes, my children aren't slow to call a spade a spade. They are bored, tired of this house, tired of being ignored by their uncle and tired of being in a place that isn't theirs. It would have helped the situation if their cousins shared, or didn't have ridiculous tantrums over the smallest of things or if their uncle took them out. None of which is happening, so they suffer and I feel so utterly bad for that.

I've apologized to my kids a dozen times and have pinned their hopes on to the fact that Baba is coming soon to rescue us from this ordeal. I take my DL road test on the 3rd (I would have left before if I had a DL) Mr. Man comes in that same day and we are leaving on the 5th. We have a little time before Ramadhan starts to fit in all the fun I was hopping to have while Mr. Man was still in Saudi. Fun isn't the word I'd used to describe this ordeal at all.

Inshallah next year we will arrive at our own house with my own car and we can live our own lives minus family that doesn't seem to want us at all. Only 11 months to go for that!!

10 more days here and counting.