Raped By 46 Men

I'm finding it difficult to put into words what this article makes me feel. Oddly it isn't the fact that a police officer raped her first and left her abandoned that makes me gasp. I mean ideally it should, policemen after all are ones who are to serve and protect the public. They aren't supposed to be the ones that go and rape a woman. But such an act by an individual, even if he is a police officer, isn't uncommon in the world at large. Nor is it something you would find only happening in Saudi.

However that 45 men came around at some point and raped this woman is shocking. Even in trying to comprehend this, which is difficult to do, perhaps I could say she was dumped in an area that is known for prostitution or something of that sort. That it could be that one assumed she was working the room and proceeded to take advantage of the situation. But than she would have to be conscious right? So they would have to know that she wasn't a prostitute and there is no mention of her being one nor taking money for the sex.

So if she was conscious they raped her by force knowing full well the choices they were making were victimizing this woman. However she may have been unconscious at some point, than dozens of men had to make a choice to rape a woman who wasn't even aware. With no feeling they would have to go into a room and have sex with her while she just laid there, for all they knew half dead, but would that even matter?

45 men went upon her after she was dumped, forty five close to 4 dozen men. 45 men came to one place with a sickness in their hearts and raped a woman. Not one having enough conscious to stand up and say this is wrong let me not do this and rescue the woman from being abused. A woman who came to work in this country, a woman whose family most likely sent her off in tears praying that all is right with her. That she won't be harmed, that her employers will be kind to her, pay her on time, and protect her from bad things in the world.

Yet she is to find her self raped by 46 men all starting with a police officer. Alone, in a land not of her own, helpless and being abused over and over again by men who probably have families of their own and this is what they choose to do to the woman of someone else's family. 46 and not one would have enough taqwah in his heart to help her.

Yes taqwah (God Consciousness) because if you hadn't noticed this happened in Mecca. The land in which only Muslim can go. The land in which probably not far from where she was Muslims were making umrah and calling on God at His House in prayer. Calling on Him to protect them, to bless their loved ones and keep them safe from harm. Calling on Him perhaps as her family was in Indonesia to do the same for their family member who was far from their care. All the while she is being raped over and over again by 46 men.

And if I really want to deal with the reality of this situation and what it really says about a society. If this were a Saudi woman who went out into the land of another country to study or work and was raped by 46 men there would be complete outrage and a call to chop off the heads of every single ones of those men. But don't expect the 46 men who raped an Indonesian maid here in Saudi to find such a punishment in a land that could easily give it.


ETA- News now says she isn't HIV positive personally I smell cover up on the HIV issue. But neither of which changes 46 six men chose to rape her.

Little Steps

Me: "Jihad since your going to be here this weekend you can walk with Baba to the Masjid here for Jumah"

Jihad: "Baba likes to drive the car here."

Me: "But there are so many cars it is easier to walk."

Jihad: "Yea, but he takes the car anyway."

Me: "But you get more blessings if you walk."

Jihad: "Really?"

Me: "Yea with each step you get blessings for walking to prayer"

Jihad: "Than I'm walking! I'll take little steps too and get more blessings. Baba might say 'why are you going so slow' and I will say 'go ahead man take your big giant steps I'm taking little steps for more blessings'."

Me: (laughing) "Sounds like a plan."

Jihad: "So tell me more things I can do to get blessings because I want them all."

Me: "Listening to your mother gets you blessings."

Jihad: "No really tell me something else."

Me: "No really you get blessings for listening to your mom, she has the most rights over you. It says that 'heaven lies under the feet of your mother'."

Jihad: "But Baba doesn't listen to you."

Me: "Yea but I'm not Baba's mother." (Making mental note that I have to correct this latter as I just told him it is ok not to listen to your wife)

Jihad: "Ok but he doesn't listen to Jeddah either."

Me: "Than you tell Baba to listen because heaven lies under the feet of his mother."

He thinks for a moment.

Jihad: "Ok I believe you about this because you told me, but can you tell me something else that brings me blessings?"


Lesson learned from Kids #1268 the small things are easier to do and often overlooked but can actually count for so much. It is the bigger things that cause hesitation and may be a problem even when it will make your life so much easier.

Baba= Father

Jeddah= Mother of Father

Lesson Learned The Hard Way

"Last day to use my passport do you have my Bahrain ID?" Jihad asks as he quietly comes in the house at Bahrain after coming from Ice Hockey in Saudi.

"What?" Thinking if he just said what I think he said

"My passport is expired." He states again

Feeling my heart slowly come out of my chest "NO WAY get me your passport." What a way to be taken out of bed as I was reading a good book.

He comes back upstairs hands it to me and I look through eyes that don't want it to be but sure enough January 20 2009 expiration date "OH #(*#" I utter and run to the phone to call Mr. Man for this means Hannah's is expired as well.

"Hannah and Jihad's passport is expired" I utter quickly knowing he is about to be set into panic mode.

After convincing him he says "Ok get them back to Saudi now"

"What? They have school." images go through my mind on what a disaster this is going to be

"Get them out now or they won't get in for another year" he says in an obvious state of panic

"Your kidding me they'll miss too much school and really fail" I'm thinking not being able to go back to a small apartment for a year may not be a bad thing add in that I really don't want to wake up Hannah and rush her off in confusion and give the kids up to two weeks off of school.

"No I'm not kidding do it now or they won't be able to get back in" and we hang up

@*(#$&# as I head down stairs to call our GRO (government relations officer) number is busy so I gather passports together and tell the nanny to pack a bag but she just stands and stares at me

"About the bag madam" says the maid "sorry Madam" what is she on about I wonder

"OH YEAH" Jihad says in an excited voice "I forgot my bag in the car with Aziz so I guess I have to borrow Hannah's homework" and I stare at him wondering if he just smiled

I search for the phone to call the driver only to remember "OH #($(" they didn't pay his phone bill yet and his phone go cut off he can only receive calls in Saudi. So I have to wait a good 45 minutes until he crosses over a certain point in Saudi until he can receive my phone call to come back, not only with the bag but to take the twins and the nanny back to Saudi.

I turn to the maid and tell her firmly "You can't forget bags in the car, Aziz's phone doesn't have any money on it and you know that. I have to wait for him to go all the way back to Saudi and than call him to come back" she just says "sorry Madam" and watches me in my panic to figure all of this out.

Not that it really matters about the bag at that point for it was set he wasn't going back to school the next day but I still had to wait for the driver to get back into Saudi to call him and tell him to turn around. And in the future none of them can forget school bags. Jihad stands and kind of looks at me with a noticeable sense of delight that he forgot his bag "And you are responsible for your own things. Now you have this old man driving back and forth because you forgot your bag!" Suddenly his mood changes as he realizes what he is putting the driver through.

I get on the phone with the GRO who tells me "I just got off the phone with Mr. Man he told me, but don't worry. Renew the passport there and I have a friend who will work it out at the border" he has a habit of saying no problem when in reality it turns into a real pain in the butt. Remember the camper?? Yea that was him. I told him to make sure so he made a phone call and told me he would call me back.

I am than on the phone with Mr. Man "He says we can do it here without leaving so they don't miss school. So tomorrow you'll have to go to Saudi and bring your mother here" he told me that morning as I took him to the airport that she is peeved she hasn't seen Umar for almost two weeks. "I don't know where everyone will sleep.." and I hear him utter "no problem" I so hate that phrase and just have the urge to smack anyone that says it "... but I'll have to figure that out latter" I continued.

A call back from the GRO and he has guarantees that it will be "no problem" and not to take the kids out of school. When I told Hannah this morning "But my birthday!" she has plans to have lunch with two friends of hers in Saudi for her b-day. I assured her that they will have the lunch it just might be a week latter.

I had it in my mind that their passports expired in 2010 but no that is two of the other ones date of expiration. And to think we had the entire month of December off to renew the passports and transfer their visas. Lessons learned are generally not easy though.

Some Good News And Not So Good News

I'm finding it typical when dealing with issues of disabilities in the Gulf region is that just when you feel you have made a step forward you learn you have taken two steps back. It is a frustrating feeling to think your getting somewhere even if it is in the smallest of ways only to find out that you suffered from a moment of delusion. I admit it is not something I'm going to get used to for it is difficult for me to understand in an area with monetary resources that outdo many areas in the world that they actually lack the ability to proceed in a positive well balanced way when it comes to so many issues, disabilities not being the only issue.


I should start with the good news. I found a super fabulous Pediatrician here in Bahrain who made me feel like I was possibly not in the ME for a time. It took me a while to get used to the sterile environment of Saad hospital and their seemingly placid staff of Drs who don't always exert much personality during a routine visit, unless you go to them for a while. While it doesn't take away from their doctoring abilities it isn't something I'm used to when I think of pediatrics. For in pediatrics I, an adult, am not the patient it is a child. In order to assess a child I feel you need to be on the child's level in some way. Part of it includes the Dr's office, Saad hospital is sterile and lacks anything that says children frequent the place.


As I walked into Umar's new Pediatrician I first noticed the colors and imagery used to help the child to feel relaxed and at times keep his/her focus on something interesting other than a Dr. probing him/her. Pictures of smiling children were placed on the wall, an exam area was present amidst brightly colored murals on the wall and wind chimes that made noise to calm a crying child. Everything needed was right in the office, no nurse came and carted us off for a weighing, temperature check and measurement before seeing the Dr which only gets a baby crying before the actual visit and it is down hill from there.


The entire visit went well with a friendly Dr who also handed me some useful contact information. She voiced her views on what she saw with programs and aid for children with Down Syndrome or the lack there of and I appreciated her honesty. We did speak briefly about the Down Syndrome Association of Bahrain in which she stated her view that I wouldn't find much help there. In fact if your seeking photo opportunities, or a way to get a major amount of donations and at the end of the day you have a fancy building and nothing really for the kids than that is your place. I nodded in agreement as I found them utterly useless when we called for an appointment when Umar was a newborn.


The Dr was impressed with the activity of Umar, between his strength what he was doing and how he wasn't what was 'typical' of many children his age with Down Syndrome made us both wonder if he has Mosaic DS after all. This isn't the first time I've wondered about this as I've been sitting with the books reading and saying well that isn't Umar. He was never a floppy child, never overly sleepy in fact he was awake more than most babies, he has strength and movement and although is delayed in comparison to my other children not really all that behind of other children his age.


Of course this doesn't mean he has Mosaic DS in fact there is such a range of possibilities for children with DS it is hard to say A + B = C because it could actually just as equally = B as well. I'm not sure it really matters all that much if he does have Mosaic DS past his speech therapy. It isn't like the world will look at him and say "Oh he is Mosaic not Trisomy so it is all very different" for when the world looks at him they will only see DS.


We walked out of the office feeling like we just had a trip to the US and saw a Dr in an environment that we were used to. It wasn't so stressful for Umar who usually isn't pleased about the entire event. It has been years since we walked out of a hospital saying "I enjoyed that" and we did. We also came out with two contact numbers, one of which was for a much needed physical therapist.


I was able to see the physical therapist (PT) this past week and I was happy enough to cancel all of my further appointments with Bayzura. As much as I liked Bayzura and what she did with Umar I simply couldn't support Saad with their price increases. The major thing I enjoyed with this PT is that I was told what to do at home, how to incorporate toys and easily to obtain objects to aid my little man along in his development. It won't be an every week PT appointment but rather a once a month appointment to check up on what I'm doing with him and his progress.

I was shown ways to work with Umar and ideas of how to incorporate even the smallest of things that we mothers tend to take for granted as a way to help Umar with a specific task. I was given some contacts one for another mother of a child with DS, one for a place to learn baby sign language, and a list of things to get for Umar. Proper shoes, which I'm still looking for, a walker with wheels, Johnny Jumper, specific toys and a cushion I need to have reproduced that helps Umar with various positions. It was great to get a lead on some things that are available here in Bahrain which I wasn't aware of and I'm looking forward to meeting some other mothers in the area who are going through or have already been through what I am.

Since this is a PT that has been in the area for a while I also received the low down of the special needs services in the area for children and it wasn't positive. Basically what it comes down to is a hopeful attempt to get Umar into a limited number of schools with the goal of getting to 6th grade in this country. Schools are not inclusive here and any private school, not matter if Umar could keep up with the class, would not accept him. So I'm looking at eventually returning to the US with Umar in about 9 years if the options remain the same here.

The school that I was excited to find, although it cost 70,000 SR a year also is not without fault. For one she told me paperwork is their down fall IEPs are not done, progress reports are not given, written goal setting is not the standard and "when you pay that much you should have this". And I agree, IEPs or something which gives me a clear break down on Umar's goals, and how we achieve them is something I would like to see. But it isn't necessarily a deal breaker but the next piece of information might be.

The school which was not supposed to be open to children with autism has accepted some students who do have autism. There are several schools in Bahrain that deal souly or mainly with autism and this is great but it isn't a school I would choose for Umar because he does not have autism. I would assume that the educational approach needed for children with autism is very different than a child with DS. And I would not want Umar to be less focused upon because more attention is needed with children in the class who have autism especially paying 70,000 sr a year in tution. Or if the skills focused upon are more related to children with Autism rather than DS.

Now that might sound horrible for me to say but I feel the same way about inclusion in schools. I do feel that children, when being included with regular classes, should be able to stay with the class and if more focus is needed on a particular student with learning problems than the rest of the class looses out. While I am very much of the view that all children should be educated and no parent should be left with wondering how to give the best to their children when they have a learning disability. I am not one who agrees that other children should miss out on their education either. I feel the same way with children who have behavioral issues and take focus off of education needed for all. And no I don't have all the answers to these problems.

The therapist was also very against bilingual education which is something I've been researching about. She tends to believe that children with DS shouldn't be subject to a dual language education like that of English and Arabic because they tend to have a hard enough time with one language. She did say that verbally learning more than one language was ok, that "he'll know what as salaam alaikum is ect" but even much of it may be gibberish to him. Although I might agree that scholastically that Umar may have to focus on one language, of course we can't determine that just yet, I won't settle that he won't know Arabic as a fluent language just like English.

For one as much as our house is an English speaking house it is also an Arabic speaking one. He will be brought up hearing and being spoken to in both languages. He won't have a single language reference and each language will inshallah be just as natural to him as the first. I believe she spoke as a monolingual individual who tend to think in one language and translate in their minds to another as it is a 2nd learned language usually latter in life.

Other issues related to this is potentially cutting him off to his family who for the most part only speak Arabic. And there is also the issue that is the language of the Qur'an. To willfully cut him off even in some small way from either of these would be just wrong to me. I would love to hear more from bilingual households raising or having raised children with DS and how it all went. Not much in the way of studies have been presented on this issue. One just assumes a child with DS can't do, it has been that way for far to long I for one choose to believe Umar will do until proven otherwise. In my mind he will learn two languages both verbally and academically even if I have to go about it differently.

As we are keeping score, that is two steps forward with 1. finding a new pediatrician and 2 finding a PT but also two steps back with 1. early resources still being very limited even more so as I have no OT at the present time and it doesn't look like I'll find one and 2 education for Umar is going to be a tough reality with very few options and none when it comes to bilingual options.

The Most Expensive Bike I Never Owned

Motherhood, although a wonderful thing and I wouldn't trade it for the world, has moments where I want to lock a child out of the house and not let them back in. Jihad was my child of the day and will be the child the next four months.

I stayed in Bahrain this weekend in part because Jihad gets so bored at the apartment. I figured if once a month at least I can keep him here in Bahain it would be a treat for him. Mr. Man was to have all of the girls and the nanny go with him to Saudi and it would be me and the boys along with the maid here in Bahrain. It didn't go as planned when last night Hannah had a complete anxiety attack and refused to go. She has major melt downs when it comes to put distance between me and herself I'm not sure what it stems from but there is no reasoning with her on it. When we finally realized what her outbursts was about I smiled at Mr. Man telling him "If I ever leave you she is coming with me"

Today I thought it would be nice to get out for some lunch, just me and the three kiddos and do some shopping for Umar. I have a list of things I need to get from his new therapist (a post on that tomorrow). We had a nice lunch at chilli's and than we headed to a shoe store trying to find 'proper' shoes for Umar. When I priced the proper shoes at 300 SR (80 USD) and up I realized why I don't care all of my children grew up bare foot.

Than it was off to a toy store where I was pricing certain learning toys for Umar to use only during therapy time at home. Jihad went off, as he usually does, and came back with some toy he wanted. "NO" I wasn't there for him and he wasn't getting anything. He decided to act 2 and throw a fit that included a refusal to leave the store.

He didn't leave but I sure did over to the next toy store in search of what I wanted. This is a trick that never worked for him so I don't know why he keeps doing it. There he is having a clear out tantrum in public and I look like a loon threatening him to get out of the store and move along. After that he pouts and has an attitude that includes fighting with his sister. I'm just so tired of this and gave him a lecture in the car. It covered issues of him being spoiled, ungrateful, childish, and being cut off from me buying him anything.

I than drove over to Toys R Us and found several things for Umar. Hannah was helpful pushing a cart, picking up Umars socks as he pulled them off his feet continuously (another reason why my children go bare foot) and being an overall good girl. Jihad on the other hand, spoiled and bratty pulling the same stunt he did in the previous store. I had all I could take and a migraine was coming on I wanted to leave and lie down for an hour.

I drove home and quickly ran out again with Hannah to the store to pick up a few items. Before I pulled off a short boy with long hair showed up with his dog. He asked about Jihad having some red bike from last night and I wasn't at the house (Mama got out with no kids and socialized) so I told him to find Jihad and ask. Turned out that as soon as I got in the car Jihad took off out of the side door to the park. Which he didn't ask to do so I made a mental note to remind him of the house rules once again.

I returned to the house and could barely keep my eyes open I wanted nothing more than to lay down. Door bell rings and it is now the long haired boy with his dog and his mother.

"Hello" she says and before I could respond "I recognize you from the gym (curves)"

Having no idea who she was I smiled and said "Oh ok"

She continues "Your son Jahad borrowed a bike from my son last night and he left it at the park. The bike is no where to be found on the compound and it cost 180 BD (1800 SR 480 USD)"

I stood there and wondered if she noticed my jaw just fell to the floor as I said "OH, well Jihad is at the park I'll find him and talk with him and if we can't locate the bike we will give you the money"

"That is what I would do" She says and continues with "I'm sorry to come to you like this but it was a Christmas present and expensive"

Damn right it is expensive who in their right mind pays 480 USD for a flippen bicycle and than lets their child lend it to someone. "No problem" I say through a half smile as my mind conjured up images of ways to torture my son. "I'll go look for Jihad now"

My search for Jihad was a 45 minute frustrating event that included me getting lost on this compound and cold with a migraine that felt like it was splitting my head in two. I also had to deal with the back and forth of Mr. Man and his threats over Jihad and comments that left me feeling like a mother bear wanting to protect her cubs but at the same time thought how it would be ideal just to eat him myself and get it over with. I went back to the house steaming and questioning myself on why I thought mothering was the right choice.

Finally after Jihad arrived at the house the first thing I did was take his 1800 SR cell phone that Mr. Man bought for him. Yea, what parent buys their 9 almost 10 year old an 450 USD cell phone? Who is the boy going to call that he needs a phone with more features than his mothers? He was informed it was no longer his in between the story of this expensive bike.

Story goes this boy felt sorry for Jihad who is constantly on foot as all the other boys are on their bikes or in line skates. So the boy lent Jihad the bike while they were at the boys house. Jihad when he was finished with the bike left it at the park. He didn't give it to the boy nor take it back to the boys house, which he wouldn't do anyway between the dark walk and the barking dogs he'd rather walk over hot coals. The boy went home with no bike and didn't ask for it until the next day and at that point Jihad had no idea where it went.

As I visited the mother and painfully handed over 180 BD for a bike that I didn't even own she went on to tell me this is the 2nd bike that was stolen. Yes last year she had a bike of one of her son's that was stolen from the compound. So it makes perfect sense she would A- spend 480 USD on a kids bike B- Not ensure that the bike was at the house at night C- let her son lend it out. None of these issues however negate the responsibility of Jihad to return an item that he willfully borrowed.

So 480 USD down for the week which I'm sure Mr. Man will calculate as my expenditure for a bike I never owned. Jihad however will be reminded every single day of the next four months of his punishment of what it cost for a bike I'll never own. Eventually I'll forgive him and remember all of the goodness of mothering. But right now every other word to him is "1800 SR that is why!!"

Tired After The Move?

Well because my life wouldn't have it any other way as soon as I took a breather and was completed with the apartment in Saudi and could sit down and say to myself "good job mama". After preventing Mr. Man from messing up all my work with his two big unpacked office stuff filled boxes and had him keep that mess in the hallway. Even though he protested "There is important stuff in there, business files and client information" and I responded with a look of death and said "I don't care don't bring that stuff in here give me one day!". I had a moments rest of self gratification of doing a whole lot of work and it paying off. A moment mind you because latter that evening on the very day I completed on my tasks in Saudi I came home to Bahrain and walked into THIS.......








Keep in mind this is after I took out my bike complete with a child seat and one of those big red and yellow plastic cars by Little tykes that will be passed down to the 5th child and tossed them outside so I could actually walk through this mess. As you see in front was a big open space that I could put to use easily with some of this but than...

I turned to the left. Well at least I could grab much needed toilet paper if I had to use the loo and there was a pathway to it, well kind of. Amongst teary eyes and the feeling of aches and pains in every inch of my body I turned right.

And one wonders why I saw a mental institution under heavy medication as a resort. I'm still sifting through things I'm getting there slowly.

The Move

I would love to say the move was uneventful and all went smoothly and that I wasn't stressed out to the utmost degree and I didn't want to beat Mr. Mans face in on a daily basis. But than that would be a lie probably one of the biggest lies I've ever told in my life. The next move call me a Saudi Woman because I plan to be like them and not lift a finger to pack or unpack a box or organize a house. While we American women like to boast about how we are do it ourselves independent women that isn't always the smartest thing to claim. I think Saudi women have figured that out and play the dependent mode when it is most useful, like a move.



So this American woman was typical, sorted a house into two, packed almost every box and the one that I left to the maid half of the things were left out and I had to save from the driver who took everything not nailed down. I don't know if he was more help or he was just plane annoying. At the final day as I was going to give the keys for the villa, the driver was still packing his over crowded car to the point where he tied things on the roof of his car to drive two hours back to where his family lived. Some of it was for his kids so bulky things, but I had to glance through his windows to find he took my rice and something of my mothers that was supposed to go to storage. I have no idea what he made off with that I wanted, besides my potatoes and onions, I suppose I'll never know.




During the last days I was loosing my mojo and saw red every single time Mr. Man came around. "You wake up angry at me" says the man who didn't unpack a single box and only packed one. Who came around a moment here or there to "look" at the status. Who complained every single time I had an idea for storage that cost money. Who didn't even follow some simple instructions I gave him and on top of it all not ONCE not ONCE I repeat did he say "wow that is so much work your doing I really appreciate it. Thank you." or the most important "Is there anything I can do for YOU". Yes men do take note when your wife is doing a job like moving 1. thank her 2. ask if you can do anything for her. And when she suggest something for you to do don't you dare complain or that will be the last breath you have.

Can you tell this all still raw for me? If he comes to me and says we have to move anytime soon I'm going to spontaneously combust and burn him along with me.

Welcome to our apartment as I first saw it after most things were moved in.






Not so grand, not at all but Mr. Mans choice who seems happy about it. That is our living space, our only family living space that we all have to share and we get to eat on the floor. (not me I'll be sitting in that lazy boy eating my meal)


In the pic



1. Sitting on my lazy boy is the borrowed maid, Dee Dee, holding Umar. She was around for three days helping with the move. It was light work compared to her work at a friends house. She made me an Indonesian soup that I like and I'll pass on the recipe soon.



2. My moms vacuum cleaner that she won in some raffle prize in the US. She was so happy with it I can't get rid of it although it has a broken belt and I can't find a replacement here. It is now sitting in a corner in Hannah's room hidden.



3. Is the shower chair I bought for my fathers visit that I have no use for. But I'm not willing to put it in the charity box because I'll end up needing it when I least expect it I'm sure. So it now sits in my mother in laws room and she uses it as a chair.



4. Is the kitchen, not a big space at all and everything is shoved in there and I search for things for too long for such a small space. That window leads only to a small space in the middle of the building I haven't figured out that point other than getting rid of a bad smell.



5. Is 1 of 3 TVs from America we couldn't use. The guy who was our driver for the move ended up taking it. Don't ask me for what it doesn't work here you can't even hook a VCR or PlayStation up to it or I would have kept it.



And on that wall there I ended up getting some nice shelves from Ikea and putting them there. Mr. Man didn't complain because they are nice.







To the left of the room I was standing in taking the picture above is his moms room. Which she unhappily shares with the nanny and maid on the weekends. I don't know why she is so unhappy about it because it is her snoring that keeps everyone awake and my hired help is cranky over the weekend due to lack of sleep.


I was on my own sorting that mess out. #6 is a door in there leaning against the wall, for some reason our apartment came with an extra door. I put it in the hallway and someone came and took it away. I think it was a joke since Mr. Man made a front room meant for a sitting room to be our bedroom that has no door. Changing the other day to try on some new clothes was accompanied by Hannah standing guard so I could have privacy. I know what you ladies are thinking and well with Mr. Mans mother snoring in the next room as loud as a five alarm fire it doesn't make for a romantic atmosphere at all.







View from the kitchen and it doesn't get much better.

#8 Is the apartment entrance #9 Is my bedroom with no door #10 is supposed to be a maids room but I turned it into storage for his mothers things with a cabinet, it wouldn't fit a bed and there is a very small bathroom in there with a shower head (no designated shower so sit on the toilet and shower at the same time). And in between #9 and #10 is his moms room.

Welcome to my kitchen area! Notice there are no cupboards above to put things in? Well your more receptive than Mr. Man although I wouldn't go patting myself on the back for that. I did end up moving the stove and fridge so things worked out better. The stove blocked the door under the sink from opening and washing a dish next to a hot stove is just asking for trouble.

There are 3 bedrooms in the back of the apartment for the kids. Hannah has the biggest room which was to be the master with a full bathroom. Jihad and Umar have a room and Mariam and Leyna share a room. There is a shared bathroom in the hallway with a very small shower which I just chose not to put in use. I have used the space more for storage for cleaning products and put a dresser in there to hold towels and other items. We all share the shower in Hannah's room except for Mr. Mans mom, maid and nanny who all share the small bathroom by their room. It works out because we are only there two nights a week. Any more than that I would go insane.

I did forget to take the after pictures but I will during my next time there. Just soak this in for a bit. Think it is a nice size? Remember we are 5 adults and 5 children. Feeling cramped now? Just call me Sardine!

The Best Pound Cake

My mother was a at home sort of mom even though she was a working mom, most times two jobs. She was the type that liked a nice house, made sure her children ate home cooked meals even if it mean being up at 3 am to prepare them, and she loved to bake.

I remember the smells of Christmas day which was a major baking event. My mother would bake endless batches of various cookies all day long. She would whip up many different recipes and we all ate up our favorites. Unfortunately we weren't in the kitchen learning her recipes and I don't have any passed down to me.

Her and Jihad seemed to be in the kitchen all the time baking. They made waffles in the morning so much that the boy just about knew the recipe by heart at age 4. They also spent time baking cakes, her pound cake was often on the list. And while I did get her waffle recipe from her after she moved to the US I didn't think to ask about her pound cake.

I tend to be the type of mom that likes to have a meal on the table when the children get home. Although I honestly hate to cook I don't mind baking but unfortunately I don't have a knack for it. I try to make breads and since moving to Saudi for some reason everything falls flat and my pita is something more comparable to a paper weight. I basically gave up making cakes from scratch much easier just to buy it from the box since mine tend to come out dense. I all about given up hope until one day I came across my mothers pound cake recipe and it is the one cake that I make from scratch that comes out perfect anytime. I mean you can slightly over cook this cake and people will still love it.

Since it is my mother's b-day tomorrow I thought I would share this recipe with you all. It is easy to do and even better if you have a few kids to help you out. And fair warning there is nothing lean and healthy about this cake. So if your watching your waist line make this on a day you give yourself a special treat.


Sour Cream Pound Cake


1 cup butter (two sticks)
2 3/4 cups sugar
6 eggs
3 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp baking soda
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup sour cream



Cream the butter and sugar together than add eggs one at a time and beat well after each additional egg. Sift flour and add gradually than add salt, baking soda and vanilla. Finally add sour cream until all is smooth. Pour batter into 10 inch tube pan (or you can use a long loaf pan).

Bake at 350 f or 180 c for 1 hour and 20 minutes.

Remove from pan and when cooled sprinkle some powered sugar on top. Perfect with fruits or ice cream!!

Saad Hospital Greed or Stupidity??

Much of my expenses for Umar's medical care tends to be out of pocket pay. Our insurance will cover only routine things related to the growth and health of any child. Even Umar's hearing test was denied on the basis it was due to his Down Syndrome and there for a congenital disorder which they don't cover. His weekly physical therapy is also an out of pocket expense which isn't much but will continue to increase as he grows and his therapy needs to change.
I made my weekly appointments with Bayzura, Umar's physical therapist, and recieved a message on Wednesday from Saad hospital which read

"GOOD AFTERNOON. WE WOULD LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE AN INCREASE OF PRICES. THANK YOU SAAD SPECIALIST HOSPITAL"

Written just as you see it all in caps as I'm sure they don't want anyone to miss the fact that they are increasing prices. Increasing prices on what and how much of course you're not told. I ignore it thinking ok they may be increasing by another 10% or something which is something that they have done over the years. However, we are speaking of Saad Group which considering the one time rent increase of 130,000 SR they tried to give us one year I should have expected differently.

On Saturday early afternoon, before my appointment, I get a call from a female operator from Saad reminding me of my appointment. When I told her I was coming she reminded me of the price increase so I asked how much. I get the obvious answer "I don't know" well find out. Since your calling me about a price increase at least have the proper information to give me. She than said it would probably cost me around 280 sr which is nearly double the 150sr I pay per session.
"WHAT?? Are you crazy? Why so much?" I ask in utter disbelief.

"I don't know why but it is increased in all of Saad" she says probably hating every bit of these calls she has to make. I wish one time they would get the brainiac who decides these prices increases to call customers and feel some of the abuse that is in store for them.

"Well what do I get?" I asked

"What?" she sounded confused

"Well what do I get? Do I get a better service? Do they finally have new toys that are clean in the therapy room? " I ask, I mean the hospital isn't a flimsy place. There fees are some of the most expensive before the increase, you think they could afford to buy more than cheap 10 SR toys.

"No, everything is the same" she is confused now

"Is Bayzura, the therapist, getting a pay increase?" Someone should benefit other than greedy rich people

"No" she responds quietly

"Well what do I get? I expect something better if your going to charge me more. This is the way of any other place I expect the same from the hospital"

"You're right, you can speak with my supervisor" and she switches me only to be cut off.

So I called a guy I've been on the phone with the past two days trying to arrange a Saturday appointment for Umar's occupational therapy which he will be starting. He goes on to tell me his supervisor isn't in yet and he will call me as the only pediatric occupational therapist is off on Saturdays. I than ask "How much will it be?" he laughs nervously and responds "I don't know"

We get into a conversation of how the price increases are outrageous and he informs me of how many cash patients are canceling. So I asked "Do you get a pay increase?" the expected response came "No it goes to the owners not us" Which is even more insulting to me because Saad hospital as the lowest pay scale for hospital staff in the area.

I proceeded to go see Bayzura with Umar who had a great session although he cried every moment. It was her first day back after vacation and was shocked to see the increases and she said no one knows why. She mentions that Aramco will be bringing their employees back to Saad, this after Aramco left them after a few months for lousy service and the sudden increase makes sense. Greed!

We spoke about the cash patients, which is much of the pediatric patients, are cancelling. Many are complaining and no one seems to care because the order is "If anyone has a problem, question or complaint tell them to speak to Mr. Ghassabi" which I laugh at. "They are telling me to go see a man from a multi millionaire family about price increases?" She had to laugh along with me in the absurdity of it all.

I told her as much as I thought she is a wonderful therapist and it would break my heart to do so I might have to go somewhere else. When I add in her fees along with an occupational therapist that I was yet to be told the price for, on a weekly basis it gets to be a bit too much. Especially when there is no change in care, there are no added benefits of service, and my therapist isn't benefiting. She understands and really hates to be charging people so much.

Latter that evening I get a call from the guy who is setting my appointment with the
occupational therapist. It seems there is a Bahraini woman who comes in with her child on Saturdays and they bring the therapist in for her so they can add me. I arrange a time and than ask "So how much"

He shuffles papers and stutters a bit when he says "After the price increase 885 SR for the initial evaluation" and I respond "WHAT??? Are they crazy? How much can they evaluate for a 9 month old" he apologizes and doesn't like what it is going on either. "So tell me how much before the price increase?" quietly he says "200 SR". That is an 685 SR increase!! I than inquire about the regular visits "Before the price increase 75 SR after 350 SR" I was stunned how can anyone justify such an increase. "It is hard" he tells me "the parents are upset over the prices but it is for their children what are they to do" fully understanding our plight but what is one to do especially when they love their therapist and understand what change can mean trying to find someone else to continue the work with their child.

As much as this is so enraging and pathetically disappointing it is something I've come to expect from Saad group. I've watched over the years how this company consistently wastes money, has utterly poor management, employs too many people to do a single job, and appears to have the rich running their businesses with no concept of good business and their focus is only how much they can get from people. If we were talking some normal business giant one could accept it although despise it but when it comes to the medical profession this is absolutely heartless and beyond the scope of reason. There are many who pay out of pocket and depend on a service that the Saad Drs. provide, who although the management they work for, who are ..... (insert a nicer word here than I am thinking), are wonderful Drs.

Shame on you Saad, shame on you for putting medical services out of touch to the community of Saudi Arabia due to your greed. Nothing else can explain such an increase of fees. Greed should have no place in medical care and it is m hope that you as a hospital learn that the hard way. And while I'm at it pay more to your employees that is the only reason why people come to your hospital anyway.