Mr. Man Redeemed Himself

After the post about his snoring Mr. Man decided to redeem himself. This weekend, the last weekend of the month, I stay in Bahrain. The kids tend to enjoy it, especially Jihad and it gives them a chance to play outside with no real time restraints and truth be told it is much more relaxing for me. However Mr. Man doesn't like Bahrain, contrary to what some people think not every Saudi guy wants to come over to Bahrain and get drunk. And this is basically what Mr. Man equates Bahrain with, a bunch of drunks. I know not fair at all but he prefers to be in Saudi and that is his choice.

This weekend he took Umar, Mariam and Hannah to Saudi and I stayed in Bahrain with Jihad and Leyna. Yesterday we went to dinner, it was less hectic with only two and tried to see a movie. However with half of the Saudi, Kuwaiti, and Qatari population deciding this weekend was the best time to see movies in Bahrain we were out of luck. So we rented three movies, stayed up late and ate too much chocolate. It was nice nights sleep, I only woke up once when Leyna decided to join me in my bed and I slept in. With only two they can pour their own cereal and I don't have to be bothered so much.

I also did what I haven't done in a long time... scrapped! I miss it. The creative outlet for me is a necessity and lately I've been feeling like a major slacker for not doing more. I hardly take pictures anymore, I'm not sure why, and I've hit an all time low in slumpville. I didn't create anything spectacular, just a simple LO that took me too long to finish but it did a least spark a desire to do more.

Perhaps Mr. Man noticed that I don't get much sleep and it really isn't fair. Or perhaps he decided to be a great husband thinking only of his wife. Or perhaps his motive was entirely selfish, not wanting to stay in Bahrain and have Umar all at the same time. Whatever it was I'm sure glad he decided to give me some time, it was nice of him. Now if I can only get more weekends like this, next time with absolutely no kids around and do it at a spa than Mr. Man would be super husband of the year!! (yes Mr. Man take that as a hint)

I even completed a second one!! I really do need more time like this.

I Lived With Roaches

It was shortly before the birth of Umar that roaches started to appear in our kitchen when we lived in our villa at Oasis. At first it wasn't so bad, one or two and you can easily kill them off. But as roaches are, before you know it there are several dozen scampering around your kitchen in no time. Before Umar was born we called the compound maintenance who have their own pesticides and they sprayed, or should I say, drowned our kitchen in their stinky liquids and told us "Don't use the kitchen for 24 hours" and he assured us all the roaches would be gone.

I had to clean up puddles of the spray that this worker left behind but I had hoped the roaches were gone. Of course they weren't for they showed their ugly little faces when I opened a cabinet to clean up the gallons of spray the pesticide man left behind. Over the course of several months our kitchen was quickly overtaken by a gang of Saudi roaches that had me jumping in fear and disgust. I admit it roaches freak me out and I'm not ashamed to scream when I spot one.

I tried to kill the roaches many times even on my own at night armed with a few cans of Raid and seeking those suckers out. One night I woke Jihad up from his sleep to come and see what Mama did. He stood in amazement over the literally dozens upon dozens of roaches that I killed underneath the sink. Of course he thought I was a bit crazy for waking him up to see it and I'm sure he dreamed of roaches that night.

I cleared out everything from the kitchen twice after moving to Bahrain and had the men come and spray again. I waited until we were all able to leave the house as I had an additional newborn to our family and I was weary of their pesticides. I was warned from a friend after moving to Saudi that some of the pesticides used in Saudi are banned in the US. I was assured by the compound that everything was safe that they used and being associated with a hospital I would assume it was. Other compounds however I never trusted and used off the shelf American brands of caned spray from the grocery store if we encountered an ant issue.

As we were moving some of the guys helping in the kitchen were laughing as I freaked out at the sight of the roaches as they secretly hid under a table top trying to catch a ride to Bahrain. By that time I had enough of them and couldn't take it no more. It got so bad that every time I opened a cupboard I stepped back waiting for a roach to pop out at me. It remained so bad because of the house construction, there was a huge gap between the walls and the cupboards that the roaches I'm sure had a happy well supplied home. There was also a section under the stove that was filled with dirt that spilled out through a crack at the base. I tell you any US home inspector would have a field day in that kitchen.

Due to the construction it would be very difficult to just spray and think the roaches would die. In fact I could swear they multiplied with each spraying. Our villa also shared one wall with a villa next door. And I had no doubt that our roach army would take refuge in his kitchen while we sprayed. As I had a walk through with the compound management I told him how bad it was and that the entire kitchen needed to be gutted in order to get rid of them.

When good intentioned friends from Saudi would mention a pesticide I could buy to get rid of them all I shook my head with a firm NO WAY. Curiously they asked why and I explained that I have children and pesticides can be dangerous enough to kill them. All would nod their hands in agreement and understood that I was a bit limited as to my options. Since we were planning on moving I knew it was a temporary situation and could go on. If I wasn't going to move I would have had the compound gut the entire kitchen over the summer and get rid of them. (when you pay the rent we did I could easily have demanded it)

Earlier this week two Danish children died due to pesticide poisoning. A neighbor in their compound left on vacation and had the compound hire a company to rid them of their roach problem. The compound did what anyone would do, call a pesticide company who treats residential homes in order to get rid of the roaches. They were told to keep the home empty for at least 72 hours and it wasn't an issue since the residents of that villa were gone on vacation and the neighbors were gone as well. It was a duplex so one had to assume what can be in one house can be in another in regards to fumes and bugs.

Unfortunately the family next door returned and no one had enough common sense to tell them about the fumigation going on next door. I'd assume that the pesticide company knew it was deadly hence their orders to have the villa vacated for 72 hours. The family went home, went to sleep, and the next morning rushed to the hospital were tragically their two children 2 and 6 died. Even more tragically they aren't the first in the past couple of years to have died from pesticide use.

In 2005 50 people were hospitalized after a fruit market sprayed pesticide ironically enough it was health officials who did the spraying. A Pakistani family of six died in Riyadh in June 2007 after they fumigated their house and return the same day. The next month, July 2007, an expert called for the removal of various pesticides from markets and that people should rely on 'professional' companies in the Kingdom, like what the compound in Jeddah did and two children died. Tragedy that a family of six would die, I mean ideally in a common sense world a country would rise up and say that a family of six was too many and we need to do something. I said long ago common sense doesn't live here, evidently he can't get the proper visas.

In August of 2007 two Egyptian girls, 4 and 6, died after their father tried to make their nights more comfortable without bed bugs. In August of 2007 3 Indian children died after a neighbor sprayed with a pesticide. In November of 2007 a Filipino woman died of pesticide poisoning. In 2008 three Pakistani children died in Madina due to pesticide poisoning after their parents bought it from the local market. A month latter the parents were fighting to get the bodies of their dead children from Saudi officials who were eventually buried in October 2008. Two Ethiopian boys died just this January and now two Danish children died.

Now that two children of a right nationality died perhaps proper action will be taken to monitor pesticide use and sales. And I don't mean detaining two lowly immigrant workers of an extermination company. The workers only used what was supplied by the company and I'm sure had no real training experience other than on the job "spray this and that". Most likely their chemical knowledge was only what they were told by their employer. And somewhere down the line I'm sure there is someone who really knows that certain chemicals should not be used in a home. I'm sure there may be someone trained and would not only know to secure the ventilation of a home so fumes don't get out but how to do so. I'm sure that there are people who knew but choose to ignore the dangers because they could in a country where the chances of getting caught were slim.

As horrible as it is the deaths of these two Danish children are, it might ensure that other children won't die in the Kingdom due to pesticide use. Personally I chose to live with roaches rather than subject my family to possible death due to the unregulated use of pesticides in the country.

ETA The government is banning certain pestacides in the Kingdom due to the deaths of the two Danish children. This is a good first step, further regulations of outlets that sell various pesticides and chemicals needs to be monitored. Enforcement of said bans with fines, and even jail time for violators (not lowly Indian workers either) is also a necessary step. Holding outlets responsible if their sales cause someones death is also a major step that would really get shop owners to stop and think before they choose to ignore the bans with blood money and jail time is also a needed step.

T 21 Traveling Afghan

Doing a blog search on Down Syndrome the other day I cam across the Little Miss E blog. It is like many other blogs that I've come across the past few months, a personal one started by a parent, usually the mother, to share with the world what life with DS really is about. I often wonder if most parents who have children with various developmental issues become instant advocates as it seems to be within the DS community.

I have learned quickly that I must become an advocate for Umar simply because the services aren't really here. I will have to fight schools to accept him, if he is up for it, and have already planned out a course of action. If it works will be a whole other issue. I became not only an aware parent but one that is willing to swim against the tide when it comes to the benefit of Umar in a country and culture that isn't in his favor. I do it because I must, but I question if it is something that I would do if I lived in the US where so many services are available.

I think the older kids are having a tough time understanding what DS really is. They ask, we talk, I explain but Hannah is stuck with fears which leave here constantly saying "I wish Umar didn't have DS" to which my reply is "Than he wouldn't be Umar". Jihad thinks that anyone who looks a bit different to him has DS but hasn't grasped that it is the nature of Umar that will be different. He insists that Umar will grow up to kick butt like him (let's all thank Mr. Man) and simply doesn't grasp that it won't be in his nature, his core being, to be mean and seek to kick butt to those that offend him.

I'm finding from talking to a few other moms that our children will have a lonely walk in these countries (Saudi and Bahrain). That they will find themselves the odd ones out and when they look around it is hard to find someone else like them. It is difficult because there is a lack of proper organizations that seek to bring families together, because schools don't mainstream even if children can make the grade, there still a large social taboo, governments have failed to service individuals and families with special needs, and those that can, leave to seek services in other countries those that can't tend to find themselves alone.

So as an instant advocate how does one share with their children that Umar isn't alone, that there are so many in the world just like him? How do I get my children to accept what DS is when I find a hard time putting other faces to the term? How can I, in a very lonely place when it comes to DS support find myself surrounded by so many other families like us? With an idea of a traveling afghan is how.

Quite simple, an afghan is going to travel the globe to families who have a member with DS. It will stay with one family for a bit, an entry in an accompanied journal will be made and it will be shipped off to the next family. Each new family does the same and gets to see the growing entries in the journal. We are on this list and hopefully the journal will have quite a few entries in it before we receive it. This way my kids will see there are many other individuals who have DS in the world and it will no longer feel like it is something so strange and unknown. They can put real faces to a term and figure out things are O.K.

Interested in joining? Simply click the image above.

Poll: Is He An Idiot Or Am I A Bully??

Mr. Man is demanding I take a poll to find the truth of this matter. Since he seems to feel he is the victim of a bully wife although I believe the man is seriously delusional, I am agreeing to this experiment. The issue at hand is his snoring.

Mr. Man's position:

His snoring in bed at night should be allowed by me because he doesn't go to sleep telling himself "Ok snore and keep her awake". He is under the impression that no wife (except us mean bully American women) wake up their husbands when they snore. He says I "hit him" which startles him so much he is going to "have a heart attack woman!!". According to him I am a bully for waking him and telling him to roll over because he is snoring.

My position:

I don't get any sleep, in fact I only slept a few times through the night in the past 11 months. So when I am up with Umar and have to return to his loud snoring, which can wake the dead, I am in my full right to wake him and tell him to roll over because he is snoring. That most wives in fact will do the same no matter what their nationality. And he is a big baby jumping up from his sleep being mean, saying things I can't repeat here, because he thinks I 'hit him' because I never have. I have nudged him, shook him and have hit the pillow but I have never hit him. Although since he makes such a fuss every time I wake him due to his loud snoring I just might.

So what do you say? Is a woman who wakes up her snoring husband to tell him to roll over and stop a bully? Or is the husband who seems to think no wife does such a thing an idiot? Leave your vote in the comment section.

Singing Signs In Bahrain

I finished my singing signs class with Umar, and Mariam in tow, which will help me to communicate with him better as time goes on. Children with Down Syndrome have speech delays as well as speech problems which make it difficult to communicate with others. The use of sign language with children who have special needs is common among many parents. For it isn't that these children can't communicate, as in with severe mental retardation, but are simply unable to communicate their needs, wants or feelings properly.

For Children with Down Syndrome there are several issues that are the cause of their speech problems. Their palate is formed differently than regular children, their tongue tends to be larger in comparison to their mouth, their vocal chords are different and low muscle tone in their mouth are some of the physical issues which cause speech problems. Often times their speech is unrecognizable to those whom they are trying to communicate because of the articulation issues. Speech therapy is a most for all children with Down syndrome and very early on in life. Umar will be seeing his speech therapist when he is 15 months, however many children with DS see a speech therapist earlier on, especially those with feeding problems.

I don't plan on, nor does anyone recommend, that sign language become the language for Umar. Rather it is a tool that I will use to help him communicate what he wants, needs, or feels as he grows. This, I am hoping, will relieve the stress for all involved that is common when children are unable to communicate with others but want to. Leyna, now 8, had a severe speech delay and didn't really start speaking until she was 3 1/2. Not being able to tell me and others what she wanted was a stressful event for everyone and generally left Leyna screaming at the top of her lungs. There is no way I want to go through that again and I was so happy that a class existed in Bahrain for us to learn some basic signs.

At this point I'm left just trying to find the time to practice and learn what I was given at the class. I received a DVD which will help me at home learn some of the songs and signs. At this point I know Old McDonald and Teddy Bear as well as a few other signs and the BSL alphabet. This course is based on the British sign language which I'm told is much different than the American. The two hands for the alphabet for the BSL is much easier than the one handed ASL as you can clearly see.

The BSL alphabet is really simple, I have no real coordination to get the ASL one down as of yet. But then I think, well with five kids I don't have that many hands to spare, so perhaps learning the ASL might be better. Also add in the fact I am American so as time goes on perhaps ASL might have more resources for me. But your talking about a gal that can't even remember all of her children's names half the time so I would prefer the easier route. Shelly, the singing signs teacher, said to pick one and stick with it, so I'll have to make up my mind eventually.

One DVD program that many of the DS lists of parents seem to talk about is Signing Time. She has several videos you can preview on You Tube which even kept some of my kids interested, which is part of the point. I found some of the DVDs from this series on sale at Best Buy and there are quite a few on Ebay so I just might head in that direction. I also noticed some books from the Baby Signing Series that Shelly had out during the classes. They are quite easy to get some often used signs for and I'll probably be buying some of those as well.

There are quite a lot of resources out there for baby signing on the Internet from both the American and British sign languages. Baby signing seems to be quite popular among mothers of children who don't have special needs. I do hope that this will aid Umar in communicating and we don't have to endure the frustration that we did with Leyna. I wouldn't wish that on any parent let alone a parent with a child who has special needs for there is enough to deal with than to add the inability to communicate on top of it.

I think I should stress signing isn't going to replace speech for Umar, rather it only just aid us in communicating. Shelly stressed numerous times in class that spoken words are to be used with the sign. So I wouldn't agree with those who say that signing with children causes a delay in their speech. For signing in this way isn't about total communication in sign language, rather it is about using some signs to help children express themselves before they are able to fully communicate verbally.

We're One Of Those Idiots

Everyone reads about those idiot bystanders who somehow get hurt by wanting to stand close by an accident scene or watch a building burn. People like me generally yell out "idiot!!" when they are the ones causing the traffic to back up just to ohh and aww over a fender bender on the highway. Yes we will all say how 'those are the idiots to cause more accidents' when we discuss how bad it all is. And I'll be the first to say "what an idiot!" when I read about some onlooker who didn't have the sense to move on and stop being nosey. Well today me and Mr. Man were the idiots out there looking on as a fire took place.

We saw thick black smoke rising from outside the compound walls about 5 today. I looked up and said "WOW what is that??"

Mr. Man "They (the shia in the area) are burning tires again"

Not really a far fetched thing to assume considering last Sunday Morning I had to drive by the still smoking tires and debris that was set to flames on Budaiyya highway. "But it is so early and it isn't a weekend" my assumption is that a. the fires are set at night and b. they are usually set during the weekend.

"Nope look how black the smoke is, come'on I'll take you there to see it" Mr. Man either just wants to be nosey or prove to me how 'bad' Bahrain really is in the hopes I'll flee back to Saudi. Nope not going to happen. So off we go following the black smoke out of the compound gates.

Me: "That must be a whole lot of tires look how thick that smoke is. I think it is somebody's home"

Mr. Man "No you'll see it is tires in the street"

Getting closer to the highway the smoke tells us another story. As we pass behind Al Osra market he starts to agree.

Me: "No it is in that small town we used to take the diversion through when they were working on the road."

Mr. Man: "Yea I know how to get there. I think it is someones home."

We drive into the small neighborhood and drive up to a soccer field and can see the smoke coming from some sort of yard. We didn't know if it was a workers yard where they lived or what. But the black smoke was massive and many residents were coming to look and there were quite a few cars just coming in to see what is going on. And we, the idiots, decide to get closer.

As we pulled up we could see how strong the fire is. It is a work yard where they have fixtures for sewage pipelines they are installing. Workers were in the yard, some walking about not sure what to do others trying to salvage office supplies. We park, with the rest of the idiot bystanders to get a look and Mr. Man goes out to talk to the guys who are looking and get a real close look.

I'm sitting in the car with my slippers on as Mr. Man is out there talking with some guy. I watch as more and more idiot bystanders come around to see what is going on. Behind this area on the other side of the street is a large gathering of area residents wanting to see what is going on as well. And as I sit and watch this amazing dark cloud of smoke rising quickly from this intense burning building I think "Man I hope they don't have any chemicals" Mr. Man said he was thinking the same thing as well.

Than all of a sudden a huge explosion!! All the idiot bystanders ran as fast as they could, heads ducking until they realized nothing came flying out at them. The car shook and I mean LOUD explosion just rocked the ground for a few miles. The kids latter told us how the doors of the house shook. Mr. Man comes hoping in the car like his arse is on fire and proceeds to take off in the rush of smiling faces as if to say "Man that was close we are idiots to be here" and we race down the street.

We start to laugh at each other. "Man we are idiots" I say "Yea two parents out getting themselves killed to see a fire!!". Than of course he suffered an injury his poor foot took a wrong turn as he was diving for the safety of his car as the building exploded. I'll be hearing about that for the next month.

What is amazing is that a fire station is literally TWO blocks away. I joke not! Two flippen blocks sits a huge fire station on Budayyia highway which is just a couple of turns and a short drive away. The guy Mr. Man was talking to told him "We called the fire department a while ago" and I said it "But it is a shia town they aren't going to rush" and sadly they sure didn't. Even after the explosion you would think it would at least wake up the fire fighters at the station and the alarms would start ringing. I mean our house is farther away from the station and they felt the ground shake and heard the explosion so I'm sure they heard it. Nope didn't happen.

But I don't think we will be amongst the idiot bystanders anytime soon!

*If you were one of the bystanders out there gawking at the flames and are offended by my use of the term 'idiots' to describe you. Just remember that me and Mr. Man were right out there as well so I'm calling myself an idiot first.

"I Want To Be A Judge"

Last year Hannah decided that a good career choice for her would be as a judge. She explained her reasoning "I help you and Baba with your problems I can do it for other people". Absolutely nothing wrong with this logic and I have no doubt she could be a great judge. Hannah is a listener, she is inquisitive although not nosey, and she has an answer for everything (no idea where she got that from!) As parents we thought she might be the counselor in the family because she is just that type of person. A judge needs those listening skills and the ability to find a resolution. So a judge it is.


On career day this year I had a black robe made up for her just like a judge. I unfortunately wasn't able to find a gavel for her even after trying to improvise with a meat cleaver (don't ask). But the robe was straight out of a judge's chambers and she was extra excited "Hannah The Judge" she proudly proclaimed as she got dressed. When I looked upon her I saw the judge, of course her classmates didn't have a clue for the image was of an American judge. There were a few US teachers who knew what she was as she walked the halls but generally it passed them by.


In conversation we discussed what it would take to become a judge. She would have to get good grades now and eventually go through law school. She asked if judges make a lot of money and I've told her some do it all depends. It is set in her mind that she will be a judge and who knows what is written she could be a judge. Because she holds a US passport it is a possible reality unlike her Saudi passport holding cousins and friends.


Our conversations over her possible career choice in life could have been extremely different if she didn't hold a US passport. Her desire to be a judge and help people who need it would have been scoffed at "Women aren't judges here" she would have been told. "Women can't do that" would be a phrase she would have to quickly come accustom to hearing as a girl growing up in a very male dominated Saudi Arabia. She would have to learn as she grew in knowledge about puberty and how a woman's body works that her womb while bringing life into the world full of possibilities and potential would also limit her own.

It wasn't long after my conversion that my interest in fiqh (Islamic Jurisprudence) was realized. I took a fast interest into how shariah was derived and the various opinions amongst scholars. I devoured books on the subject and even took up schooling to feed my ever growing interest in the topic. The more I came to know the more I loved fiqh and was totally fascinated by it all. How various views can be formed by the same verse of Qur'an was an eye opener on so many levels and it was my desire at one point to learn Arabic and earn a degree.

My dream still hangs there hindered by the fact that my brain can't comprehend much Arabic. Sure I'm ok on a basic level but when your dealing with conjugating verbs and other issues of grammar I'm at a loss. Lets face it, my command of the English language isn't all that wonderful and my grammar is horrid. However it hasn't diminished my love of fiqh and I still would love to sit and discuss fiqh and read all I can. Put that on the list of things to do when the children grow up.

I would love for my daughter, who is so much like me in numerous ways, to also find a love for fiqh. How my heart would weep at the thought that the life from my womb would go on to fulfill a passion that I too have. She wouldn't be hindered by the Arabic language as we are all working hard for her to have that gift. I've moved to the last place I ever thought I would in order for to have such an opportunity. However even if she showed a great talent for fiqh in her life she would be limited in her ability to use it in the environment which she is being raised.

In one hand lays Saudi Arabia in which Shariah is the platform of law however she being a female wouldn't be able to earn a position as a judge simply because she is a female. In the other hand lays America in which she holds citizenship and can work her way up to become one of several Muslim women judges in the land but she wouldn't be ruling based on fiqh. She however can still go on to pursue her desire to be a judge, rule by American law and be a great service to the judicial system of that land and her parents would be there to support her every step of the way.

When I told Mr. Man the she wanted to be a judge his responded with "Well she has to go to law school." and Hannah retorted "I know that already." He too responded without much thought but with full knowledge such an opportunity for her lay in a land far from here. I'm not sure if he debated in his mind the irony of it all but I'm sure he was calculating the additional cost of law school in his savings plan for the children's education.

*I should also note here that if you are preparing to give me a lecture of how women can not be a judge in Islam I suggest you save it. Even in my limited knowledge of fiqh I wouldn't agree with such a view and neither do various scholars. So let us agree to disagree and save the comment drama for another blog.

Help Wanted- Women Need Not Apply

My sister in law, the widow with three children, took on a job a few months back. She worked over the phone selling car insurance and was quite happy with her job and the extra income it brought into the home. Being a widow whose husband worked for the government she receives a 1500 SR pension a month. That is 374 USD and less than the bike that I just had to pay for. 1500 SR is not sufficient enough of an income to live off of, especially if you have three growing children to raise.


Notice I used the past tense to describe her employment status for as of now she doesn't work. She, along with the others in the company, were all fired because the company went under. She was given a couple of weeks notice and that was the end of it. Many women around the world can relate to her story, working one day and given notice the next especially when you consider the economic world crisis. However as a woman in Saudi her work opportunities are extremely limited unlike many companies in the world and this is due to the fact that she is a woman.


The choices of Saudi working woman are typically in the fields of education, the medical field and small business that cater to women only services. The majority of employed Saudi women are teachers and is looked upon as a respectable job. The medical field tends to be filled with obstacles for may women. While secretarial services are considered to be acceptable in most families that agree to allow their women to work being a nurse doesn't always receive the same response.


There are some positions which have recently been adopted in order to further the employment of Saudi women. Marketing and sales representatives have been increasingly opportunities for Saudi women. These women tend to sit in an office for women only and make telephone calls to market various companies products or sell specific products. Some women working in such positions tend to complain of sexual harassment while others have claimed that sexual innuendos have been used by the women and companies in order to sell products. Many times women will call numbers late in the night, speaking in a 'sexy' tone trying to get the men to buy a product. However several men question what they are selling and this is the exact reaction that some companies tend to want display. I'm not sure how this helps their sales, but it is something which will hinder Saudi women's drive for more employment.


Saudi women, not unlike other women around the globe at some point, have to fight for their position in the workforce which is free of sexual exploitation of any kind. Saudi women in the workplace find that many times when they are sexually harassed there are no real procedures set in place for her to complain and find justice against the offender. Often times she finds it more easier to quit her job or accept that she is being fired because she doesn't give in to the propositions from men on her job. There is talk of addressing this problem legally which is a step in the right direction. However one has to wonder if it will be enforced or will the complaints of women be ignored by judges and others in charge.

There are also groups of women who do not want regulations in place to help women who have been sexually harassed. According to this group of women if a law was enacted to protect these women than it would along encourage free mixing of the sexes. This they feel is a step in the wrong direction and believe that women should remain separate in the workforce in order to preserve the woman's position as they perceive due to religious and cultural influences.

But how does this really affect Saudi society as a whole?

The unemployment rate among Saudi men of working age is said to be about 9.8 % and for women it is 24.9%. According to statistics only 5% of the working women in Saudi are in the private sector. Maybe not so bad but consider this foreigners make up for 60% of the workforce in Saudi. Some may say well these are low skilled laborers so what difference does it really make. Considering that 30 billion Riyals was sent out of the country by these 14.5 expatriate workers one can easily see how this affects the economy. Add in some other numbers like the average family household is 5.2 members and the average family income is about 48000 USD a year. Another figure 65% of Saudis are renters, they don't even own their own homes.

Let us consider the plight of working women in Saudi Arabia. According to figures half of the Saudi population is women. From this 5 million are of working age but only 500,000 actually work. That means that 4.5 million are not working. Of the 17% of women that make up the workforce in this country only 53% of them are Saudis. This even thought 65% of university students in Saudi Arabia are women.

If you take a quick walk in any market, mall, retail outlet or even ponder these figures and facts over a cup of coffee or lunch with a friend you start to wonder why aren't more women working? There is a desire for women to work, many need the income, yet Saudi continues to hire foreign workers who send billions out of their economy each year. Ignoring the fact that it is women of their own country who have money to put back in their own economy. Saudi really needs to employ more women but there are unfortunately many obstacles.

One major obstacle on women working is the idea that women must be in a non mixed environment and segregated in the work force. This is not ideal under any situation as women will need to interact with male colleagues in their working environment. Currently there is no law that restricts working women to a segregated work place. The idea that women must be segregated when working is one which I can't honestly wrap my mind around.

Consider this, I walk into any store at a mall as a woman and I'm greeted by a man. We are not segregated, he works there and I'm making a purchase. I ask him questions, he answers, I pay he gives me change, my receipt or anything else I need. I do this in every store, be it a cosmetic shop, woman's clothing store, woman's shoe store or a lingerie shop (which I don't go to in Saudi because they men freak me out). What is the difference exactly if the situation were reverse? What prevents me as a woman working the counter, answering the questions of a customer, giving him change or doing anything else as a retail worker?

Why can I sit a restaurant and give a man my order and wait for him to come and bring my lunch? Even though I'm sitting in the family section. Why can I go to a super market and have a man stock shelves, weigh my vegetables, or check me out? Why when I get a new abaya a man is there to measure me, recommend decorations and sew it together? When I go to a fabric shop why is it men, usually foreign Arab men, that are there to lay out the fabric and cut my yardage?

Why, in a public place making public exchanges are women not working yet are permitted to be a customer? One may try to argue that it is the veil that hinders the. Either those who say a woman can't do the job with a veil or that she would have to take it off are completely wrong in my view.

If a woman can choose a pair of shoes, take them out of the box, put them on her feet, decide if she wants them, brings them to the counter for check out, count out her money or use her debit or credit card than proceed to walk out of the door with her purchase while veiled. I say she can wait on a customer, get the box of shoes, press a few buttons on a cash register and put the sale in the bag like any other. She will also be able to interact with her female customer much easier, even help putting the shoes on like real service, and suggest the right heel or color in a crisis situation.

If a woman can bag her own carrots and bring them to the counter to have them weighed and tagged, shop the isles, reach on the top shelf for cereal or that last box of cookies put her purchases on the cashiers belt and than pay in whatever means she chooses. I dare say she can do the same as one on the other end giving the service rather than just being the customer.

I see no difference in such work in the public view than that of a receptionist at a local hospital who may take appointments, process paper work, answer phones, make copies of insurance cards, take payment for services and everything else that goes into working for a veiled woman. And this is not to agree that all women veil in Saudi for they don't. But even if they do it isn't necessarily a hindrance to them in the work force especially in the retail or service market.

A company may argue that there is too much money to be spent on training and preparing women for such work. As a girl of 16 who was easily trained as a cashier I so bologna to that. It would take less money and time to train a Saudi woman to work in the retail sector than it does to import a worker from another country. I'm sure that many of these educated women who make up 65% of the graduates can actually handle stocking a new product line in a retail store or being taught to use a register.

Why would I even focus on such jobs as many times their pay isn't that great? Well for one pay for women overall in Saudi Arabia is on the lower scale as it is. My sister in law made 2,500 SR a month for her work in sales. The average salary isn't that much higher for many women in Saudi unless the have a government teaching job although this sector is over flooded with applicants as it is. But I would suggest such jobs for various reasons.

1. They are plentiful
2. No experience is really necessary
3. Easy to move up in positions
4. Visible- more women seen working it becomes a more acceptable idea
5. Attractive to the younger workers as well as high school educated older workers 6. Teaches women about business in general and will serve better for more small business owners that are women in the future.

Shutting women away from the public eye or trying to enforce ridiculous standards on companies trying to employ women I believe will only hinder their growth in the Saudi work force. Public working options may also enable women to be in a more powerful position. In a private office where a woman is sexually harassed by a higher ranking employee (or employer) she tends to lack options. If however a woman is sexually harassed by a customer in a clothing store she can quickly call security and have him put out if not arrested thus putting women in the role of power rather than leaving them powerless.

This is one of many easy employment options, for women anywhere else in the world that is. Unfortunately Saudi as a society and a government have failed to tap a real market in women. Their policies on employing women leave billions of riyals leaving their economy each year rather than having it put back in by it's own citizens. And women, like my sister in law, continue to struggle raising a family of four on 1500 SR (400 USD) a month with little options to independently improve the economic fate of her family.

Updating Blog

This will take me a few days to tweek and at least a few weeks to complete! So any complaints are suggestions say it now.

A Nanny, A Maid And A Driver What Do You Do?

A common thought is that women in Gulf countries who have hired domestic help, such as a maid, a nanny and a driver don't do much of anything as a woman in the house and a mother. Well here is a list of my day, I dare any one to say that I'm not parenting my children, interacting in their lives, and adding to my household. And do note there is no bon bon eating today.


My day started yesterday at 10 pm when I went to sleep.


1am Umar is awake has the flue can't breath.

1:30 am Umar is settled and back to bed

2 am Umar is back up and I wake Mr. Man

3am Mr. Man is in my face "I haven't slept yet" in which I say "I haven't slept in 10 months"

3:35 am Mr. Man is getting me out of bed to handle Umar

4:15 am Umar is back in bed and fajr is just about here

5:30 am 3 kids up for school (nanny wakes them and they come in my room to complain about something. Ask Hannah to make sure mama is up at 6am)

5:45 Umar awake (I call the nanny)

6am Hannah tells me it is time to get up and I notice that my clock is running 15 minutes slow

6:15am downstairs have a bowl of cereal- I make Jihad eat, get them all to finish getting dressed and their book bags together for school

6:30 trying to get out of the door with three kids but side tracked by Animal Planets animal rescue show

6:40 am going down the drive heading to school. Hannah and Jihad are reviewing for a test

7:am drop them off "have a good day"

7:20 am arrive at curves I'm 10 minutes early have to wait

8:15 am done my work out back home find Mariam riding her bike


9:30 am and I've cooked breakfast, sorted the laundry, read the news online, checked some emails, half decided dinner, and am writing this post after reading some of the comments on Bedu's blog. But I probably won't have this post up for another day or two due to lack of time.


10:30 am I'm out of the house with Mariam leaving sick Umar behind with the nanny and the maid finishing the laundry and cleaning bathrooms. I've showered, got my shopping list together and cuddled sick Umar who just cries. I made a Drs appointment for tomorrow.


12:45 pm I have no idea where the time went but I've finished my shopping even with Mariam driving me batty. But it is a good day I've only forgotten two things am way under budget for my weekly shopping and found a humidifier. Cool air but it will do


1:15 pm I've arrived home the maid is putting away the groceries as I'm preparing dinner. I've decided on a lamb roast with potatoes a salad rice and corn. I was hoping to make cupcakes but I have no time.


1:30 pm I'm out of the door to get the kids with Mariam after putting my dinner in the oven making salah and grabbing the paper to read in the car only to notice I'm running ten minutes late and it is 1:40 pm by the time I get out of the driveway.


2 pm I arrive at the school and I go to pick up the kids. I have to wait for their friend who rides home with us and Leyna tells me about the boy that has been bothering her. I have a short discussion with the vice principal and I'm in the car with all of the kids by 2:20 pm


3pm I arrive home only to find out the nanny turned off my oven and my lamb isn't done which puts me behind schedule. So I give her an earful to be mindful of what she is doing and all the while I just want to drop to the floor and sleep. It is has been ten months and I have had a handful if that full nights sleep after having Umar.


between 3pm to 5pm I have finished dinner and started three with homework. Made salah and reminded the kids to do the same and cuddled my sick little Umar who is a cranky face boy. Provided and collected paints and paint stamps to Mariam and her friends who are making a cat hotel out of cardboard boxes. (there are a dozen cats at the house all strays which we both feed) have fed everyone but Mariam as she is out with her friends.



between 5pm and 6 pm we finish up homework as Umar is attached to me, make salah and than we sit outside as the kids kick around a soccer ball waiting for their father who is actually showing up an hour late. Usually he doesn't come during the week at all unless he is leaving to the airport early in the morning.


6pm I'm telling off Mr. Man for being late and how the twins have an Arabic project due and I'm not doing it but end up spending the next 45 minutes printing pictures needed for the project and telling Leyna to get in the bath.


7 pm I'm upstairs Leyna is in trouble as she never went in the bath I have Umar to still get in a bath and she is putting me behind schedule. Got her done and than start Umar and by now it is 7:30 pm. Hannah took her own shower and Jihad is still running around not listening and Mariam is clean so I decide to throw Jihad in the bath with Umar (who uses a big boys chair and likes visitors in the tub with him)


8pm Umar is clean and dressed, the new cool air mister is set up by his crib all children have been cleaned and their teeth are brushed. It is the nigh routine of madness with a nanny who disappears a maid who is wondering around downstairs and Mr. Man who chooses to leave the house again.


Umar kisses them all and falls asleep on me with a bottle or so I thought. Laid him down only to be screamed at by a 10 month old at which point I pulled him out of his crib again and he proceeded to vomit down my back. Maid comes in handy cause I get to change as she cleans it and Mr. Man found his way back home so he is ordered to hold Umar.


by 9:30 pm I'm asleep having read one short chapter of my book and no longer able to keep my eyes open. I'm up at 2am with Umar who is soaking wet, lesson learned never put a cool mist vaporizer too close to the crib as everything gets wet including the baby. Changed him, put new sheets on the crib, refilled the vaporizer and put it further away. I had Umar back asleep and I crashed into bed at 3am only to do it all over again today.



And I've even finished this post with minutes to spare as I have to get Umar to the Drs. Now still think women who have a maid a nanny and a driver don't do anything? The things that would have been added to my schedule without them is.



1. laundry which the maid did after I sort it

2. clean the bathrooms which the maid did

3. clean up after dinner which the maid did

4. track down Mariam who didn't come in anyway from outside

5. Drag sick little Umar outside the house to go shopping

6. Cooked dinner with sick little Umar on my hip as well as doing homework with the kids instead of having the nanny babysit him. Keep in mind there are no babysitters as we know it in the US.

7. If I had used the driver either the nanny or the maid would have went to the school with him to get the kids and I would have dinner cooked on time with no one to turn it off unknowingly.

Now we learn a few things. One of which a stay at home mom in the US with no help is doing the job of what three do in my house, lets all applaud her. Two even with hired help there is loads to do in the daily life of our little future adults and within the house. And even with help I'm an all out Mama for my children having hired household help doesn't negate my mother status nor do away with my parental duties. And now all the regular readers here know why I don't post so much :)