Hey Sears I Am Who I Say I Am

During one of my few shopping trips I hung out at sears. They were having a sale on clothes and I decided to try and rebuild my credit, as at this point I don't have any. So I applied for their card and got an instant approval. I used it for my purchases, one in clothing and one in electronics using my passport as an ID as I don't have a DL yet. No further ID requirements were needed and it was a simple and painless process.

I've been waiting for the card to be delivered in the mail as I don't want it to get lost. I received it along with a separate letter from the fraud department stating that they needed to talk to me about my recent account activity. I didn't even activate the card so I was more than confused and quickly called, first thing in the morning.

I was put on the phone with a real person after two tries and after I cussed the phone as well as it is giving me problems. The first person told me they couldn't talk to me as the fraud department put a block on the account until I talked to them. And they transferred me to a representative of that department, early in the morning where the chaos began. I was told that they have a new standard when it comes to opening an account and I had to answer some security questions and I went along with it.

First question, have I ever lived, owned a home or registered a vehicle in a multiple choice of four questions. She listed off four counties two of which were in Illinois and two in Louisiana none of which sounded familiar to me at all. Of course your talking to a gal who started calling her children by numbers because I can't always remember their names. So I had no idea what to answer as I lived in both states.

Second question was about an address and the first one sounded familiar in regards to the number but the street name sounded odd to me. Now if Mr. Man were around he would probably have had to help me with this as he has a better memory but alas I was on my own. I laughed at myself and answered none of the above. And the same for the third question which didn't seem to go well for the computer.

"you failed" said the rep
"Ok give me another test as I don't remember all the addresses I've lived at over the course of a 15 years" I said thinking this whole thing is stupid.
"well do you have a phone number? A land line registered in your name we can verify?" do people have land lines in this country anymore I wondered
"No" and than I explained my ordeal to her but she seemed not to care and went on to tell me that "your account can't be used because you can't prove your identity"

HUH??

"You gave me a card based on ID I provided in the store" I said thinking this whole thing is turning into a night mare

"Yes but that isn't good enough anymore because people can use all kinds of fake ID" she said
"Well than stop giving instant credit in the store!!" I was getting annoyed
"If you write a letter..." she went on
"A letter? How about a fax or an email? We are in the 21st century!" yea I needed breakfast before this call.
"No it has to be a letter."
"What difference would it make?" I ask
"Well you need to send the original letter in which we sent you with a letter explaining your problem and than we will decide." how she says this without laughing is beyond me
"This is ridiculous let me talk to a supervisor please" I'm more than frustrated
"We can't let you speak to a supervisor because your not verified"

What!!! ???? I can't even talk to a supervisor? How annoying this all is.

I have no time to write a letter, I don't even know the price of stamps anymore and I would be more than willing to fax them but to go all out of my way to identify myself when I already DID to get instant credit in the store is just plane stupid.

Ok yes you have to be careful considering identity theft, but as I told this woman "Look if you are so worried about identity theft than don't allow instant credit in the stores. If my ID is not good enough why allow instant credit in the first place?"

I mean really Sears if it seems really backwards to ask to prove an identity after you have GIVEN the instant credit!

The representative had nothing to say other than "we can't" as if she speaks for all of Sears so I told her fine "Than what I can do is not use your card at all, pay my bill and close the account!"

She didn't care which seems a bit counter productive to seeking business for a credit card. Not that I'm going to make huge purchases and keep a balance on the card. But it would have come in handy when I have to furnish our house in St. Louis and I could have used it at Sears to furnish the house. Even shop online and have things delivered before we get there.

But no Sears chooses to aggravate me and it will take me a while to get over being aggravated so early in the morning. I mean consider this, someone can open an account in my name with various ID that might be fake and use it that day and destroy my credit possibly. But I, the real person can't answer their questions although I have ID up the wazoo and keep the card.

Make sense??

For Mr. Man

Because he doesn't follow my scrapping blog I'd figure I would tease him a bit here.



Only 8 more days!

From Bad To Worse

If I ever talk to my brother again after this visit it will be a miracle. I thought things could get better but they have been worse and of course the entire thing is my fault. My brother suffers from delusions of always being the victim add in the fact he believes the entire world owes him and it matters not what you say or do you will never get through to him.

What sucks in all of this is not that I as a grown woman have to deal with the fact that my brother is an absolute arse and come to accept that this is a relationship that can never be fixed. For goodness sakes the man lives in the past and is jealous because our father treats me differently than him (make no mention that he treats his father like crap for he is the victim remember). I guess I'm not missing much because we never really did get along even as kids. But I figured as adults who are supposed to learn and grow and become better people. See I had hopes, quickly smothered by the fact that my brother is self consumed the likes of which I wouldn't think possible in a person. I have to realize that I've become a much different person, with different outlooks on life and different values than him and just let it go.

However I have five children, seven if you count his two that he leaves with me day after day, in all of this and they don't understand why he is ignoring them. He hasn't spent any time with them at all and contrary to what he believes, my children aren't slow to call a spade a spade. They are bored, tired of this house, tired of being ignored by their uncle and tired of being in a place that isn't theirs. It would have helped the situation if their cousins shared, or didn't have ridiculous tantrums over the smallest of things or if their uncle took them out. None of which is happening, so they suffer and I feel so utterly bad for that.

I've apologized to my kids a dozen times and have pinned their hopes on to the fact that Baba is coming soon to rescue us from this ordeal. I take my DL road test on the 3rd (I would have left before if I had a DL) Mr. Man comes in that same day and we are leaving on the 5th. We have a little time before Ramadhan starts to fit in all the fun I was hopping to have while Mr. Man was still in Saudi. Fun isn't the word I'd used to describe this ordeal at all.

Inshallah next year we will arrive at our own house with my own car and we can live our own lives minus family that doesn't seem to want us at all. Only 11 months to go for that!!

10 more days here and counting.

Medical Tourism in Saudi

I've spoken quite a few times about medical issues in Saudi be it medical treatment, care, or making decisions regarding ones medical care. What I've seen as of late is that there is a drive to have more non Saudis to come to the Kingdom for care. This ranges from separating conjoined twins which is always in the press or Saad Hospital advertising heart related treatments.

At a recent emergency dental visit (nothing like breaking a tooth on vacation) the dentist said to me "If I'm going to need treatment I would rather do it in America". And I thought about that and honestly I can't say the same when it comes to all ailments. If I ever get cancer (ya Allah please protect me from that) I would stay put in Saudi. I would seek out the wonderful doctors that were involved in my mothers care. However if Umar needed something in related to his DS I would return to America.

Medical care depends on many factors, facilities, medicines available, doctor's knowledge, patient knowledge and even how a patient is treated overall (follow up care, in home services, group support ect). Having my father recently in the hospital here I know that idiot Drs exist anywhere. I was told over the phone by Dr. Paprika (that is what his name sounds like) that he had cancer. I asked for a prognosis "He is a strong man" I asked if he wanted the xrays that he had in Saudi in order to compare growth "we have all we need here with CT scans they are much better than xrays". The next day he tells my brother "I never told your sister he has cancer" and it turns out he doesn't have cancer. And this is not to say someone can't get the same in Saudi I related here how I was told of Umar having DS.

So no country can claim they are the be all to end all of medical care. However Saudi is not behind when it comes to medical treatments. The foundation is there, facilities, Drs, medicines, lower costs in some areas and a growing understanding that there is more to treating a patient than a prescription. I would love to see some areas advance sooner rather than latter. But perhaps with more articles like this one by Afifa Quraishi which covers the various aspects of medical tourism in Saudi.

And no I'm not just pointing out this article because I'm quoted in it. I actually like this article which says a lot as I've spoken about my dislike for articles I find in the English news papers in Saudi. It is well written and thorough and I'll be watching for more articles from this author.

Self Check Out

There are several things in the US that the kids are not used to since they are growing up in the ME. One of their newly found favorite things is the self check out line where we the customers get to scan items. Oh they thought it was great fun grabbing as many things as they could, placing it in a bag, by a bag, and back in the cart.

Imagine three pair of hands, all different heights trying to scan various items on a temperamental machine. Jihad from over the shoulder and high who kept confusing the scale for the groceries. Mariam from down below and her raspberries (which didn't cost me a small fortune unlike Saudi) who wasn't so easy to catch because it took me a minute to realize she was even there. And Leyna from inside the cart with every item that her siblings kept putting back in there instead of bagging.

The lady watched us from afar as the machine kept giving me error messages and the scale was on high alert confused as to what was being placed where. I wasn't sure who or what to yell at as too many things were happening at once. By the time I would straighten out the machine by pressing the right button and chased Jihad away Mariam would come from down below with her little hands holding tight onto a product scanning it several times. I was frazzled to say the least but the kids were having a grand old time.

Piece of advice never bring more than one product through the self check out line with more than one child when they are easily amused by small things in life.

Staying Put!

One thing I really need to accomplish while being in the states for such a long time is to obtain a drivers license. I have been driving in Bahrain for the past year without one. Yes I just admitted to breaking the laws of Bahrain, but I did have an international DL but no accompanying valid DL in any country.

We changed our residence twice after leaving Louisiana and I never registered a DL in either state with my moves. My LA drivers license expired six years ago and I didn't realize what a pain in the tush it would be to get a new license. In New Jersey there is a six point system to proving your identity, which I have, a proof of address, which I have and than since I haven't had a valid drivers license in six years it is like starting all over again. Now I did have a DL in New Jersey which expired in 1993 and they have the DL number for it. I also have my expired one from LA but they don't care. A few women sympathize with my situation but not enough to change the rules.

I failed my first written exam, I don't drink so I don't know how many points it takes on a breathalyzer to make it illegal for someone to drive. I don't think people should drink and drive at all. So that part of the test I failed. I'm also not a new driver, I've been driving since I was 17 and I don't know anything about these new crazy laws they have in NJ regarding their 'graduated license program'.

It must be hard on kids today, when I was 16 I went in for my permit and got my DL not long after. I passed the first time around and didn't have to wait for so long. Now with the new insane set of laws you can get a permit at 16 as long as your enrolled in a driving school than you can drive with a license driver for six months and graduate to another level at 17 as long as you pass the road test. You than get a permit for 1 year and you have to drive with a license driver over 21 and only one other passenger and than pass the road test and get a regular license at 18.

I took the second written exam today and passed with room to spare but have to wait until August 3rd to take my road test. Yes I have to prove to someone that I can drive and I swear if I fail I will scream!! I need the drivers license in order to help Mr. Man drive to MO and to be honest I'm not his best passenger. Sure he has driven me a bit over the past eight years I've lived in Saudi but I usually complain.

He tends to have the habit on a highway of putting his foot on the gas than easing up, continuously. While it is so slight I don't think other people notice but I do and it annoys me. And he is also the type of man that has to go around the parking spot fifty times before he parks. In a spot you pointed out the first time around. DRIVES ME CRAZY!!! I still haven't learned to bite my tongue about it so he usually rants on about "I've been in the game for 10 years" don't ask because I can't explain it either. (I hear you Mr. Man.. your saying it now!!)

When we lived in the states and went out I was the driver, always. He didn't mind I think mainly because he drove a lot for work so it might have been nice for him not to drive. But I do think part of it is his unspoken acceptance that I'm a better driver. Sure the Saudi in him will never admit it, but I know Mr. Man I know.

I was kind of hoping that someone might take a look at me and listen to my situation and understand or at least look upon it as an act of American liberation to the poor down beaten oppressed woman who has experienced gender discrimination for the past eight years. Why couldn't I get some ultra feminist determined to free me from my oppression with a NJ drivers license? I don't care how much of a farce all that is I'll go with it for the license. I don't want to have to take my father along on our outings or beg my brother for a ride. I want to be the grown woman of five children that I am and be freely mobile, like I am in Saudi. But no, I got some guy who folded his arms and I swear has never smiled in his life as he uttered "tell me the story".

Considering that I need the license I have to stay here until the road test than Mr. Man will be here and we will leave together. Probably the best plan anyway I really don't want to uproot these kids time after time traveling off to the unknown and showing up on peoples door steps. Jihad is in a baseball camp for two weeks, his nick name is wheels because he can move around those bases. My father is still in the hospital, saw him today he looks better and his room mate wants to sign Jihad up for football (older man was a coach for twenty five years a talker like my father).

I also laid it down to my brother and said enough is enough!! This will be our last visit so he has to get with it even if he doesn't want to. I don't care if he frowns the entire time, gives me and the kids someone to joke about. I don't care if he complains, I don't care if his girlfriend leaves him (yea she was jealous of me, his sister, I say not a healthy relationship but he can't see it). I don't care if I took over his house he is hardly here anyway. I just care about making the best of this mess as much as I can for the sake of my kids. Thank God they are easy to please (they were excited about bunnies in the backyard today and lightening bugs) and will just go with the flow.

You Can't Choose Your Family

It can't be said I didn't try to extend myself to my brother. It has only been a week since our arrival and I think after the 2nd day I wanted to leave. As a mother myself I couldn't understand the words of my own mother in which she claimed she was done with her son, had given up on him and died so disappointed in him. I couldn't comprehend how a mother could say those words but as I sit here I honestly understand now how she got to that point. I understand that after years of extending herself only to be let down by even the smallest and simplest of things brought her to a point where she had given up on any close relationship with him.

Don't get me wrong I'm sure she loved him as any mother would love their son. But I just don't think she liked who he became, the choices he made, and how he acted so self absorbed and continually turned his back on the only family he has. I watched over the years and even with my constantly trying to patch things up between them, how it all unraveled. How she got tired of extending her self, as I am now, and just gave up.

I'm there now and I'm saddened by it all. I'm saddened that even with his own mother dying with such disappointment he has chosen not to change. Saddened that even when he was down in a place where no one would even consider giving him a shot we (Mr. Man and myself) gave him one but yet he turns us away now. He honestly thinks that he was entitled in some way, that we did wasn't all that much in the big grand scheme of things and that he honestly doesn't understand that we are the only family he will ever have and he is blowing it.

As my father lies int he hospital with pneumonia once again I think of how he could have died if I wasn't here. And as sad as that is to me as he is my parent, I am even more shocked to consider that my brother doesn't get it.

I'm considering my options now, staying till Mr. Man arrives next month or packing it up at the end of the week and finding some place to go. I mentioned this to my brother whose only words were "where would you go". Not the right words "No don't even think of it, I'm sorry I'm an arse let me try to do right as an individual", no nothing like that but I guess I'm just a different person and I thank God I am.

I looked up at him and said "I do have people in this country that love me" and Hannah chimed right in "Yea, my mom is popular". And he turns to her and says "What is she a rock star??" and because I am who I am I started to sing

So what!! I am a rock star I got my rock moves and I don't neeed you!!

So where would I go? I'm thinking some gals would be glad to receive me in Louisiana I'll know more this week as Jihad finishes up his baseball.