My Apologies

I would like to apologize to the man driving that little blue car in front of me on Saar road this morning. I honestly didn't mean to startle you, it is just I've been in the car for way to many hours this month and I guess realizing that I won't have to do this for a few days for Eid holiday got me in a good mood. I was almost home, the kids were already dropped off at school and sometimes it is good to let loose in the car. Considering that I'm in it at least 3 hours a day I have to make the most of it.

Part of the blame should be put on the DJ of Radio Bahrain who usually annoys me. I mean how much talking over songs can one do without annoying every single listener. And you would think since they know when the news is about to be aired that they wouldn't play a good song and than cut if off especially if you consider the crap they put on the air to begin with. It could be worse, it could be that guy at 12pm who constantly turns the volume up than down to talk, than up than down to talk at least five times. I swear it is like being in the car with one of my kids playing the volume control.

But he chose a song I hadn't heard in such a long time and I just couldn't help but to get my grove on. I know a hijabi woman rocking to the beats in her car isn't what you would think of seeing so early in the morning. But I can't see how it is that odd to you that you so blatantly stared. The double takes that you did through you rear view and side mirrors weren't all that necessary.

Honestly man you didn't have to slow down either that just annoyed me and almost messed up my grove but it didn't stop me from singing off key. I was close to home where I could park in my driveway and finish out my grove with only Naomi staring at me like I lost my mind. But she is familiar and easier to ignore than some stranger who stares. Perhaps it was all a bit new for you that we Muslim gals do cut loose once in a while, but we do. We are just like everyone else who have a bit of fun here and there especially if we are going a bit car crazy. But the thing to do when you see anyone grooving in their car is not to stare but to smile and be happy their enjoying their life and move on in your little blue car. And if the feeling hits you groove to your own beat, I promise I won't stare.

You might be wondering what it was that got me so excited in the morning well here it is. Maybe not your type of music but it is an American oldie that is sure to get some of my fellow readers bums moving in their chairs I'm sure.

Is It Time To Stop Blogging?

I asked myself the other day if it was time for me to stop blogging all together. I mean lets face it I haven't been a very good blogger lately. This is my second entry for this month and some times I feel like I'm repeating myself a bit too much. I mean how interesting can my live and views of it be to other people?

My life is rather boring if you ask me. I'm just an everyday kind of mom doing everyday kind of mom things. Who really wants to listen to that?

Than I thought well who cares if I talk to myself, I mean I'm a mom I'm used to that. And if I stopped blogging where else could you get these kinds of entries...

The other morning in the car on the way to school I was reviewing Science with Jihad and Hannah. One section involved what organs made up the female reproductive system.

Me: "Jihad what organs make up the female reproductive system?"

Jihad: "Oh man this is embarrassing... eggs, womb.. vaginal"

Hannah: "not vaginal... vageeena"

Me: "no not vageeena"

Between the two: "vag - i- nal" with a hard g

Me: "No not vag- i - nal.. Vagina!"

Both: "ohh"

Jihad: "what is a vagina anyway?"

Me: "I told you before I won't say it again"

I know he asked to get the entire car started on a gross conversation I didn't want to have a 7:15 am

Jihad: "Yea but what does it do?"

Me: "Go ask your teacher"

Jihad: "what will she say?"

Me "I don't know ask her, or better yet ask your father" and I pass back the phone

Jihad "I'm not saying Vagina to him"

Hannah: "Ill say it"

phone rings.. laughter and giggles.. Hannah: "Baba.. (giggles) umm Jihad wants to know (laughs) what a vageena is"

Me yelling "It isn't a Vageena it is a vagina"

Jihad laughing

Hannah to Mr. Man: "oh.. ok Jihad wants to know what a VAGINA is"

on speaker phone Mr. Man: "A Vagina?"

Both: "yea"

Mr. Man: "Its a womans private parts"

Jihad: "Yea but why does Hannah say when a girl gets to be 13 she has to wear a diaper?"

They hang up on Mr. Man and Hannah laughs saying "NOOO I didn't say it Leyna said it"

Leyna: "I did not"

Hannah: "But they do"

Jihad: "Why wear a diaper?"

Hannah: "for the babies"

Jihad: "You can't wear a diaper on your vagina you'll kill the baby"

And The School Year Just Started

There I was sitting in the car with Mariam and Umar on a Saturday waiting for the other three to get out of school. They had their first Saturday class to make up for some of the days missed due to the closure by the ministry. The phone rings and I am told I need to see the Principle of Jihad's school tomorrow morning. I breath deeply and think "this can't be good" and set a time for 9am.

I meet the kids after school and I spot Jihad from a distance walking slowly. He has a note in his hand and walk towards me and I ask "What happened?"

"I got in a fight. "

"What?"

"Ok look I was going in the school after you dropped me off and I bumped into this kids leg and I said sorry and walked off with my friends. He thought I was laughing at him and he chased after me, pushed me up against the locker and called me a bastard so I punched him in the face"

"Good" I don't think that is what the Principle was expecting one of Jihad's parents to say but it is the same comment Mr. Man gave too.

This year hasn't been without incident for both Hannah and Jihad but nothing to this extent but I guess it is inevitable. All of our kids are now being taught that if someone hits them they are to hit back. They need to stand up for themselves and not be bullied. We have had continual problems over the years and this year didn't seem to get better for Jihad or Hannah.

The first issue was with Jihad who had some nasty mouth girl dropping the F bomb at his work table on a constant basis. But not only that she proceeded to tell him "f-you" but also "f your mother". Nice mouth this hijabi girl has on her. I told him to tell her to stop, which she did and after two days of this he had enough. He told her stop or I will tell and her response "go ahead I won't get in trouble". So Jihad went to the school counselor and told him who in turn told the Principle and Jihad left that encounter believing that the Principle didn't believe him that he let the girls go and this was after this brazen girl walked into the Principle's office and said "F you" to Jihad (yes she did) so he could hear it.

The principle denies that this is the exact set of events and is confused why children don't trust him enough to come to him with problems. Mind you he is proud of being 'harsh' and is known for yelling to the point of absolutely scarring the wits out of Hannah "He yells louder than Baba". Nothing happened to the girl and he yelled at Jihad and I told the principle that Jihad's perception, true or not, is that the girls got away with it.

"she had to apologize in front of me" he insisted although only for cussing Jihad in his office not for the things she said before or about me.

"Yet she cussed him as soon as they left and said 'see I told you nothing would happen' so how do you think Jihad felt?"

Let me tell you this meeting did not go well for a few reasons one was his inability to actually hear what I was saying and just think I was attacking him. I am telling him as a parent what the children in the school perceive of him as the Principle, he took that personal and thought he could blame me. BAD MOVE!

But back to the fight, according to the Principle Jihad is an "honest boy, he tells the truth even if it is against himself. But he acted in anger not appropriate. This other boy, also honest and very quiet just went to Jihad and put his hands on his shoulders and admitted to calling Jihad a bad name and than Jihad punched him in the face twice."

Make sense? Not to me.

"So you say Jihad is honest?"

"yes he is"

"And is Jihad known to act out of anger and hit boys?"

"No"

"Is he known as a trouble maker or a bully?"

"No."

"But what your telling me is that this boy, after Jihad ran into him by accident, calmly walked up to Jihad put his hands on Jihad's shoulders and called him a bad name that you say Jihad didn't even hear and than Jihad punched him in the face?"

"Yes"

"That makes no sense to me at all and I can't accept that."

I don't think he liked that, nor the fact he had two parents in his office saying quite honestly that yes we have told our children to hit back. That Jihad was not in trouble with us and that we don't believe he was totally in the wrong. Was punching him in the face a step beyond? Could have been I wasn't there but I wouldn't take too kindly to a boy coming and pushing me up against a locker. And unlike the principle I don't think this boy just was as calm as could be and did no harm to Jihad. This is the first time Jihad has acted out like this in school so he must have felt threatened enough by this boy.

"So did Jihad chase after this boy and beat him more?"

"No"

"But you want me to believe that Jihad just punched him in the face for no reason and allowed the boy to walk off?"

No it didn't go well at all and I have a feeling any future meetings won't be all that pleasant either.

Now what is really funny about this whole ordeal and an example that the Principle used to show us Jihad's honesty about the situation, however don't forget he doesn't believe Jihad when he says the boy pushed him hard up against the locker but he went on about how honest he is. The boy who got hit wasn't going to say anything it was Jihad who told on himself.

"So after you punched him what happened" I asked

"He went to his friends."

"Did he tell?"

"No"

"So how did they find out?"

"Well my hand hurt and I went to the nurse for ice, she asked how I hurt it I told her I punched a boy in the face"

He has a two day in school suspension and parents that stood by him although we told him next time to respond in kind. "He pushes you push, don't take the first swing" Again not what the principle was looking for.

Helping Sinan

I was actually going to make a long post detailing some of the costs that parents of children with specific needs tend to have. How things work in Saudi in regards to finding the help, than having the help that is there available to you when you a. aren't covered by insurance and b. can't afford private care.

But I'm tired and unmotivated to really do such a writing at this point. And each day I put it off is one more day I put off telling you about how you can help Sinan get the care he needs in the US. So stop by Abu Sinan's blog and check out his post and plea for assistance to get his son the help he requires.

I will be back with the post I had in mind, a long one and I'm tired from driving. Kids have a six day school week in order to catch up on days missed so I'm going to be a bit out of it.

Umar Update

So I know that some of you read just because of Umar. Forget about me and what I blog about it is all about the boy. Don't worry my feelings aren't hurt he is my favorite too. So without further delay I'll give you an update on how my boy is doing.




Yup that is right my boy is walking and doing it very well I might add. He tends to keep his legs spread wide apart to keep his balance and at times reminds me of a little robot walking about. But the fact is he is walking everywhere at 19 months. He has been working hard on this for the past month and he has a ways to go, he isn't running yet, but I'm so very proud of my boy. Although this does mean that he gets to places I wish he didn't.



One of those places is the couch! Yes mothers of the world this short little boy with his short little legs swings them up high (thanks to his flexibility that would put any gymnast in awe) and pulls his little strong self up on my couch. When I'm sitting there I will swing his little leg off and he puts it right back up only for me to swing it off again. He than has the nerve to get angry and yell at me with the fiercest of faces and put his leg right back up. Strong willed he is and happy as a clam when he finally gets up on the couch. He knows how to scoot down but sometimes doesn't judge the distance properly so he has to be helped or he'll take a tumble.

My plan was to start him in speech therapy but we ran into a bit of a hiccup with that. I wanted to take him back to the same therapist I took Leyna to in Saudi. There was talk of trying to bring her to Bahrain once a week for some of the other ladies in town who have children with DS. Mr. Man would have provided a driver for her making it that much easier but I received a message that she couldn't come. I gave her a call to find out she is six months pregnant and will be stopping her practice for about four months. Of course after she gives birth we can't expect her to want to come to Bahrain with a new born. I congratulated her and told her I would look for someone else. She was really upset because there were no other options for the ladies in Saudi.

So I began my search at the Children's Academy here in Bahrain. I have spoken of this school before an British based special needs school. I remember reading they had a speech therapist and also had after school appointments. So I gave them a call and asked if they have services for children who weren't enrolled in the school, happily she said "YES". A wonderful word to hear folks when it comes to therapy options for the boy. BUT since the ministry of education shut the doors for all preschools, KG schools and special needs school until Nov. 1st they were unable to take him until after that date. I'm waiting now for them to finish their first week of school, get a schedule together and call me back letting me know that Umar is ready for action. They cost 25 BD a visit (250 SR or 67 USD) which is more than what I paid in Saudi by 10 BD (100 SR or 27 USD). But I'm hoping that they will be set up better for such a young boy and do so well I'd be willing to pay double that if they asked.

That will be his only therapy as I have stopped taken him to Physical therapy. Since he is walking, pulling himself up, and doing so many movements that we take for granted such as bending at the west and picking something up from the floor and pulling himself back to a standing position, I honestly don't feel the need. One Saturday when Mr. Man is off I think I'll take him in to see Bayzura for an evaluation and she can give me some tips on how to get him to bring his legs in closer when walking.

I'm also planning on finding a preschool for him next year. I want him to become a bit more strong in his balance before I do that in order for him to keep up with the other kids. But I think putting him in a few hours a day several times a week will help him in interacting with other children without resorting to violence. Yes my boy is violent. He isn't biting as much, he didn't take to me plopping him down on his bottom when he did so that is a good thing. However when little kids try to come up to him in the park and want to kiss him on the cheek (He is a baby to them) he will swat them in the face as to say get away from me. He also holds his own on the playground with children older than him which is a good thing and his best friend is an 8 yr old boy. I think that says not just a lot about Umar but also a lot about that boy that he would take to a small child like he has.

Umar is also taking an interest in following what others are doing which is a wonderful thing when it comes to sign language. He is starting to really want to follow along and is trying which is great for his development. He also is very smart and understands how things should work not that he can always get it right. Such as shapes going in certain spots in a shape container, but he gets frustrated when the star won't fit into the circle than pulls my hand to do it. Alba unfortunately gives in easily and does it for him although I've told her to stop. He has to be forced to do it on his own and figure it out. By the end of her vacation with consistency with Mama I think he'll do a bit better with that.

So my boy continues to surprise me in the most wonderful of ways. And I have no doubts he'll continue to do so the rest of his life.

Where Am I?

Well in the car most of the time from three to four hours a day as a matter of fact. Yes I'm now the family driver and I'm annoyed with it. Mariam started school this week which means my driving schedule has become totally insane

6:30-6:45 am we leave the house usually on the latter end of that because I have to remind kiddos to brush their teeth, their hair, and tuck in shirts. Did you know that a boy tucking in his shirt means he is a nerd in their school? So what looking like a slob is the new cool look? Brat kids I tell ya.

Back at the house around 7:45-8:00 depending on traffic and I can't say enough how people just don't know how to drive or are rude drivers. Here is a clue.. your not the only one that matters in the world!

Than I'm back out at 12 noon to collect Mariam from the mob of moms that think only their children are worthy of anything. I now wait in the car till they are gone and I'm left with as little contact with parents, maids and drivers as possible.

1pm -1:30 we are back at the house, depending if I have to pick anything up

2:30 I'm on the road again to go collect Hannah and Leyna and Jihad unless he has after school soccer. Back home between 3:30 and 4 again depending on the idiots on the road.

If Jihad has soccer I'm out of the door at 4pm to collect him and drag myself through the door to do the whole dinner, homework, bedtime routines that will drive anyone mad.

Now if this wasn't all annoying enough I get the added bonus of loosing the nanny for a month. Her parents are coming to Saudi from Morocco thanks to her brother who got a visit visa for them (he works for Mr. Man). So they have 30 days and so does Abla who smiled as she went from a six day visit with them till a full month and committed to staying with us until July when the kids are finished school.

So not only am I loosing help with the kids, which means I have to fight Umar during homework time when usually Abla can take him and Mariam to the park or give their baths. But I get the added bonus of putting that poor boy in the car for the same amount of time I am. Nice huh?? I need a driver for this month.

Wondering why the maid will be no help with Umar? HA I can't even leave that woman alone with my MIL without it being a problem. I was about to toss her out last week over some stupid drama she caused over the way she behaves towards Mr. Mans mother. But that is a whole other blog post in itself.

Anyway I have a slew of things I want to say, more on that woman journalist (sentenced to 60 lashes than pardoned but I'll give the full scoop latter), child custody laws and its failure to protect children, and the ever important update about Umar.

So that is where I am in the car usually yelling at some idiot driver. Although I'm trying to relax and make it as stress free as possible, but than I drive on roads in Bahrain and know that is an impossible experience.