When a Man Decides for a Woman

So many times I've said on this blog that women driving is a minor issue to me. That it is in the front lines of women's rights in Saudi Arabia simply ignores a much larger issue regarding the rights and choices of women in this country. It is sort of like trying to put a band aid on a gushing wound and thinking it will heal someone. A much larger issue needs to be tackled before any woman in Saudi can claim independent rights for herself.

As an American woman I have enjoyed the freedoms of my own choices since my adulthood. This isn't saying that I've made all the right decisions, but every decision I have made it was by my own choosing. I never needed the permission of any man or legal guardian (read any other male) to make decisions regarding my own life. I didn't need permission from a man to travel, buy a car, get a job, sign a lease, live on my own, get a passport, leave the country or go to school or seek medical care. All of these things require a permission of a man for Saudi women.

Now for most this isn't all that much of an issue, they have good men in their lives they don't hinder them, harm them or seek to punish them by their rule. But the very fact that the law puts these men in charge means that the abilities of Saudi women are only given or made real by a man. We often times speak of Saudi women that are leading change, who are making great strides or accomplishing wonderful things. But we neglect to remember that each of these women would not be able to do such things unless a man allowed them to.

This is the much larger issue that is at hand for Saudi women that affects their daily lives. The power given to man over women in this country dictates a woman's life and sometimes a woman's death. Mr. Man's sister had to wash and bury her daughter a few weeks ago because of her husbands rights over her. She was diagnosed with kidney disease a few years ago and was to seek treatment for it from a local hospital. At some point her husband decided that he would no longer allow her to go for care. She was kept in her home under his threat and he choose for her to not receive medical treatment and she slowly feel into a miserable state.

At one point her family tried to intervene and actually got her out of his house and she stayed with her mother. Not all women are so fortunate to actually get out of the house as their families have no rights over a woman now married to a man. Her husband is her legal guardian and no police will come to a families aid. She stayed with her family and received some treatments but had to leave her three children behind. I suppose living without her children was worth than death for her because at some point she returned to her husbands home.

A few months ago the family got a call Mr. Man's niece was laying in a hospital bed in a coma. There was much confusion as to her medical state and no real straight answer was given to her family as they watched her daily struggle in her hospital bed. Several months passed and her system started to shut down as her kidney disease and progressed to much for her body to sustain her. She had a heart attack earlier this month and passed the next day. Her body was taken by her sisters, aunts and cousins and they washed her and shrouded her in order to put her in the ground.

It was the choices of her husband made for her that lead her to her death. She could have, like so many other women in the Kingdom, received care for her kidney disease and lived on. With a supporting husband this is possible but not all are so. She left behind three children, the ones she couldn't live without. I suppose in the end she chose for herself, she went to be with her children while she could although it meant in such a sad way the choice of death.

Flying With A Saudi

After watching this clip (thank you Umm Omar) I had to wonder what if more regular folk got to sit next to and talk with total strangers on a plane. How much more understanding might we have about each other? How much better off might the world be in regards to tolerance and sympathy

Speaking Of Airline Security

With the latest idiot who tried to blow himself up and an entire plane full of people there comes new security procedures for certain (99% Muslim) countries, Saudi being one of them. This is on top of the procedures that have already been in place since shortly after 9/11. And not surprisingly many Saudis and those within Saudi are not so happy about being placed on that list that requires extra security checks.

However I question if extra security screening for some is the best reaction to the latest security blunder. Sure I understand it may be what people want to hear but in reality is it something that is needed? Or is this just disregarding the fact that the security measures already in place should have thwarted this mans attempts to blow up a plain full of passengers? Does one really need intrusive full body scans in order to prevent such attacks in the future? Or should the same conditions warrant that someone actually prevent the guy from boarding a single plane to begin with.

Lets take a quick look at this

1. The guys father informed authorities that he was a possible threat to the safety of others. And the father is a stand up guy , a banker, not some loon who wants to get a son in trouble because of some insane family dispute.

2. He had an expired visa in Yemen which means he in the least should have been delayed from leaving.

3. He paid in cash for a one way ticket on a visa to the US this alone should have set the bells a'ringing for any security screening.

4. Young single guy with no checked baggage Mr. Man would have been checked to the 10th degree for such an offense.

5. The ultra extreme best in the business Israeli security company was in charge. The be all and end all to airport security via fox news surely they know and should have pulled the man to the side.

With all of this and I'm sure the other things we the public aren't being told this man should have never boarded the plane without extra screening complete with a pat down. Now if the person giving the pat down was the last woman who felt me over in London my last time going through than every last bone that man had in his body would have been felt. ("it is sort of weird, like a massage in a way that isn't meant to feel good" I told Mr. Man and she didn't smile over my comment). A simple pat down would have caught it along with enough of the flags he set off, not some body scan.

I have severe issues with the body scan and I dread the thought I would have to pass through one in order to board my flight. I think they are way to intrusive to the privacy of a traveller. Now of course I want people to be safe, but I don't think we should all be subject to overly intrusive technology in order to travel. We should at least be able to fly with some self respect and not be exposed to the screening staff of an airport. Of course I have no doubt such machines will never been implemented within the Gulf Arab countries I cringe at the thought that some US airports are already using them.

Not only are these machines intrusive and exposing but they also emit radiation that can't be healthy for a frequent traveller. And shall we say something about the cost which will be passed on to the everyday traveller who has already endured massive price increases around the world. The increased price of traveling along with increased measures of security have set for a decline in traveling to and within the US already. One wonders what would happen with body scans becoming a must.

I'm sure some are wondering "Isn't this the same woman who just posted about not taking her liquids out of her hand baggage all the time". Well yes I don't and why? Because it rarely causes an issue for me. My bags are screened and I've been stopped only once this year after passing through a dozen security checks spanning four different countries. If security in all of these places where keeping security as it is laid down for most I should have been stopped a whole lot more. And if I were stopped more I would probably make more of a point of taking out my liquids in order to not endure the extra searches. Not that there is a guarantee I wouldn't forget something at some point.

Perhaps we don't need added security measures or extra security for certain countries and all that is needed is that security is followed by more efficiently to begin with. And one has to wonder where will the security measures end? If one intends on blowing up a plane in an act of terrorism what is to stop them from say inserting devices in their bodies? Are we than going to have to endure anal probes every time we want to fly?

I do think that the added security measures that are supposed to be in place in Saudi right now will continue to impact the decision of Saudis and those within the country choosing to fly to the US. Now this may not seem like such a great deal but it has possibly larger ramifications within this region. Not only will tourism continue to decline from this part of the world to the US, but also trade, students choices of university and possibly pushing relations father apart. And I'm sure this won't bother some who hold the view that certain groups should stay in their own country the question remains if it is a necessary choice? I wonder.

Back In Bahrain

Seems like we just arrived and than we had to leave again I do wish we could have stayed longer. The flights were relatively uneventful considering our flight to the US. Security is always an interesting ordeal especially considering the latest in security failures I was expecting to have a difficult time but as usual things were a bit inconsistent.

The last time I flew out of St. Louis it was the first time ever I was told that they needed to pat my scarf down. I was in shock. You want to what? I kept asking because I was confused over this new security measure. What exactly do they expect to feel under my scarf? Dunno they didn't pat down my shirt, or my pants, just my scarf as if it could hide anything more than say my over sized shirts. I wasn't happy about complying, I never am when it comes to ridiculous security and I received no answer to my question "Do you make women take their wigs off? Or check hair pieces? What about weaves?"

Why does a Muslim woman's scarf deserve more of a pat down than those other mans of covering ones head? And why do I need my head patted down and not the rest of my body, a scarf covers my head as my shirt covers my chest. Make sense? Only if you view a woman covering a threat by itself.

I hate getting out my liquids and generally don't even bother. Most times I go through no problems but our last in London was a joy with Mrs. Sunshine the security woman. We had a delay in Chicago and missed our flight in London so I decided to take the airlines offer of a hotel room (two actually) for a few hours and get a shower and some rest. We left the airport enjoyed our stay at the hotel and returned latter that day. Keep in mind that in London after we arrive we go through a security screening. We are told to take out liquids and every other thing they want out. Well with five kids in tow I don't take them out. I simply don't bother gathering little baggies trying to fill it with my lotions, tooth paste and whatever they might find subject to limiting.

On our return to the airport we went through the same security and my bag was flagged due to the liquids. Mrs. Sunshine said "do you have liquids" I told her probably she said "and you don't take them out" nope I don't bother I told her and she didn't like my response and copped an attitude and wanted to give me a lecture on liquids "ok can we get on with it" I said to her that angered her even more and she ranted about her job she had to do "Well than do your job check my bag but giving me a lecture on liquids isn't part of the job". Needless to say I don't think we hit it off. So finally getting on to her real job she pulled out my large bottle of face lotion.

"You can't bring this" she said holding it up

"Why not I just came in with it" I didn't buy anything but diapers during our stop

"You didn't come in this airport with this!" know it all said

"Yes I did, from an international flight"

"No you didn't"

What was wrong with this woman I do know where I just came from "Yes I did you want to see my itinerary?" and she shut up and pulled out another bottle of something (yes I don't follow rules) "And this!" she gets angry at me

"Look this same bag, packed the same way all came through security here. I don't unpack my liquids I never do and I didn't get flagged and my bag checked either"

There is no consistency with security even little Leyna got on board with a pair of scissors this last flight. She was checked through St Louis security on a flight going to Houston and than on to Frankfurt from there. There is no additional security in Houston so her bag was checked once and she got on to two planes with scissors. Before you board in Frankfurt there is security, that caught it but said it was ok as they weren't sharp scissors but at least they checked.

No one seems to be able to make up their minds, take out liquids don't take them out. Take your shoes off don't take them off. Take out your camera don't take it out. I can't tell what anyone will ask of us at any given time. While this may be a security procedure in itself it makes for a hassle, delays and long lines in security for anyone that travels is confused. Quite frankly I think security personal is confused as well which probably explains why I can get through with large bottles of liquid (this trip it was Umars antibiotics) and Leyna passes with scissors.

But we made it home in one piece and the kids are all back in school today. Of course I had kids up at 2:30 am no longer able to sleep so it is going to be a long afternoon and an early bed schedule.