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Umar went to school

2010-09-19T09:11:00.002+03:00

I know I don't update here regularly and I really need to get my act together with that. But I just had to share, since most of you readers have been there since his birth. Pudge has gone to school!!!

Yes I did find a school that was willing to take him, one of the most expensive preschools around but well worth it. He was super happy, brushed his own hair, grabbed his back pack and went for the door. He sees siblings going off every morning and he was so happy to be part of that. I took him to the school, he took his teachers hand, turned back waved goodbye and went in. Don't think that attitude continued I'll find out when I pick him up. But this is a big moment for my little man I'm super happy for him!

I'm Still Here

2010-05-30T17:42:00.002+03:00

A friend asked me about my blog today and Umm Umar shot me an email for the link. Both reminding me that I'm in serious neglect of this blog. I don't mean to do it and quite honestly I feel bad that I haven't updated in over a month. Oh the drama that has gone on that I haven't shared here would have truly entertained.

But I'm in the midst of posting something for you all and updating this neglected spot of my life. Right now I'm about to bring down the wrath on these children for their lack of focus during homework time. Someone remind Hannah she can't sing and do math at the same time! Both Hannah and Jihad are reviewing for entrance exams for new schools. Which is a long story in itself. Until then I've been known to hang out on face book lately.. look me up

To Jihad's Teachers

2010-04-12T19:37:00.002+03:00

I am getting quite tired of being told that Jihad does not pay attention in class as I'm sure you
are quite tired of dealing with it. Please know that I scold Jihad on a daily basis as to his behavior in school. I tell him repeatedly not to talk in class, not to throw erasers, to be prepared with his work, pencils, and materials. I have purchased countless amounts of pencils, erasers, folders and other materials he says he needs for class however he continues to conveniently loose them.

So in order to help Jihad learn responsibility can you please limit his borrowing of materials from you, his friends and definitely his sister. I propose that there should be a school wide ban of lending Jihad any pencils, erasers, or other school necessities. He has every work sheet, book and folder in his back pack as he insists to me that he needs to carry them all in his bag each day. So if he is unable to find various materials it is because he can't find it in his bag that resembles more of a garbage dump than anything else. I find that having him empty his entire bag helps him find the things he says he has lost so do not hesitate to have him do the same in class or in the hallway.

Please be more strict with Jihad's behavior in class. Since he hates embarrassment perhaps a seat closest to his teacher will help him pay attention. If you find that his behavior doesn't improve please send a note home so I can find appropriate punishment at home. But in the mean time do take creative steps to help Jihad do less talking to his friends and more concentrating in class.

Jihad also has a fascination going to the school nurse so please don't excuse him to go see her unless he is in immediate danger. If he isn't bleeding, hasn't lost consciousness or doesn't appear to have a deformed limb I assure you he doesn't need to see the nurse yet again this year.

I will now be carrying boxes of pencils in my car so when he is dropped at school he is sure to have more than one. I assure you I don't neglect his school needs as is evidenced with Hannah. It is just Jihad's lack of responsible behavior which is at issue and I think we as adults all need to be a bit less tolerant of his current behavior and considering that there are only a few months left of school this year he needs to step it up.

I thank you all for you continued patience with Jihad. I am confident he can do better in school as he is a seriously smart boy. He just lacks the needed focus on his studies but I believe he can do it as long as he is reminded that such things are his responsibility and his alone.

Thank You

*This is an actual letter I'm sending to Jihad's teachers tomorrow I'm one fed up Mama*

My New Ride

2010-04-08T23:05:00.004+03:00

Yea I'll keep Mr. Man a while longer.... especially since he got me this rocken Toyota Sequoia!!!

I used to have an old Hyundai that we bought years ago. It was slowly fading away although it served its purpose for us and it now serves the purpose for another Saudi family. I hold told Mr. Man I wanted a Hyundai H1 minivan which would hold my growing family. But after driving in this insane Bahrain traffic with Mr. Man's Toyota Land Cruiser I decided this mama needed a bit more power beneath her feet. Now look out!! This school driving Mama will rule the road!!

Imagine me now behind the wheel taken seriously by others on the road. No cutting me off and don't you dare come in my lane. Can I just point out drivers of Bahrain that when you enter a round-a-bout (or circle for you Jersey people) and it is two lanes, while you are IN the round-a-bout it remains TWO lanes. I know a difficult concept to grasp but surely I tell you the truth.

No middle seat for my DVD loven Umar but who needs that when you have butt cooling seats. Now that is a must have for these summer temps which reach 120 degrees!!

I love the amount of space I get with this car. And that I don't have to fight sits to manually put them down at the grocery store. With a flick of a switch my seats lay flat at my command. Oh if only everything in life worked so easily.

And because this was bought in Saudi it comes complete with a super fabulous leather prayer rug. Oh yes.. ride in style and pray in style!

Thank You Mr. Man for giving me some power and I promise not to run over too many people :)

He is 2

2010-03-22T10:13:00.004+03:00

Yes it has been two years since my little man was brought into this world. Two years that have flown by and this day of his birth comes with much happiness and a twinge of sadness. To see him grow is a joy but than I still remember holding him on my chest as he slept with his butt filling my one hand.

Right now I'm enjoying watching him transition into the terrible twos and let me tell you he is right on target. He is no longer that easy going one year old his an official temper prone two year old who will throw himself on the ground screaming, or make the silliest face as he tries to shed fake tears. And he has a temper which knows how to tell you he is not pleased. Luckily this Mama of five has learned to sit back and watch such things with humor or I would go completely mad by the time he outgrows this stage. Mr. Man however is going to spoil little pudge rotten if I'm not careful.

He is so very active and can easily push over any of his siblings to get what he wants. He isn't shy by any means and prefers to be out with people, lots of people. He loves to chase the neighbors dog, hang outside all day, chase ants around the house and unplug the tv to annoy everyone. He is like any other two year old doing two year old things and it is wonderful.

Right now I am trying to find a school here in Bahrain that will accept my little pudge. I have a meeting with a nursery on Thursday provided they see him as being like any other two year old and they have a spot he should start in September and my friendly boy who loves to play with other kids will welcome it.

I will share pics of his day tomorrow. Nothing big here just family with cake of course and quite a few presents. Now lets all sing.. Happy Birthday to Umar...

Why I neglect my blog

2010-03-19T09:47:00.004+03:00

I know I've been neglectful, badly so but I do other things. Well to be honest I have another addiction. Yes it has reached the levels of addiction but I figure there are worst things I can do than have albums filled with memories for my kids and our generations to come. These are just a sample of what I've been doing this month. Yes only this month and only a sample!

Spring

Imagine

When Your Mr. Man

2010-02-26T17:19:00.002+03:00

Not only does Mr. Man get to be married to me the forever 17 year old Jersey gal and have five wonderful kids out of the deal he gets this.

Call to Mr. Man

"I lost my phone yesterday at the movies call and cancel the number" after calling him in a panic

"What?" He asks confused as he is out on four wheelers with the kids in the desert.

Taking deep breath "Yesterday when I went to the movies I thought something fell out of my purse but when I left I checked for my iphone and it was still there but I didn't check for the other one" Explaining this for you readers, I have two phones for two different numbers one in Saudi and one in Bahrain.

"You're just noticing this now?" he asks me like I have my phones attached to my ears like him

"Yes I just needed it now to call you. I called and someone answered but didn't say anything" my heart dropped as I dialed my number and someone picked up. No voice just silence.

"Ok, Ok" he says in a panic knowing that if one of those poor workers found it at the cinema I am going to be charged up the wazoo for international calls.

I keep calling my number but no answer.. I worry.

Phone rings it is Mr. Man

"Well whoever it is they are having fun with your phone it has been busy" he says

"No that is me I keep calling the number hoping they'll answer"

"Ok" he says

"Why doesn't someone just return it?" I ask because I would

"If they are honest they will. Remember my friend Fahad when he lost his phone? The guy who found it called the last number that he dialed and it was me? I got his phone back the man was honest" He reminds me that honest people do exist

"Yea. Are the cancelling the number?" I ask

"Yes I have the guys on it I'm sure the bill is going to be high" he answers

"No really because I have a cap on my outgoing calls" which lightens the dread

I hang up and start talking to Hannah who was taking a nap on the couch and related my whole tale. She says "You are just realizing you lost your phone??" not this again I think. I explain it all.

I went to the movies and turned down my phones but when I put my purse down it fell over and dumped things on me. I thought something fell but when I looked for my iphone it was there. So I went on to lunch but latter that night I went to pick up Hannah and my purse fell (I hate purses) and it was dark. I thought that this phone was in the car so I called it but when someone answered, no voice just silence I knew it was all wrong. I went to convince her and sent her to the car, although she didn't want to and called the number.

"It was behind the seat" she says in frustration that she had to actually deal with this as well. I frantically call back Mr. Man

"False Alarm it was in the car don't cancel my number!!!"

He doesn't say much because this isn't the first time I've done something as silly as this and I'm sure he'll remind me of it latter. But I have a long list of his silly moments as well so we can battle it out if he wants to!

* what about when I called and someone answered

option A- I dialed the wrong number
option B- a jinni answered my phone

Option A is more likely

Hey That is Me!!

2010-02-23T19:12:00.001+03:00

I had an interview by Tara you can see how wonderful I am here

What if Umar didn't have Down Syndrome?

2010-02-10T09:51:00.005+03:00

I get this question from the kids a lot, mostly it is Hannah but they are all curious of the answer. And my reply is simple "Then he wouldn't be Umar". Now I'm sure some will object that one isn't their disability, disease, or condition and this is true. Umar is not Down Syndrome Umar is Umar who happens to have Down Syndrome. But there is no denying that ones disability, disease, or condition does impact who a person becomes.

The argument of others tends to be that Down Syndrome no more affects a persons personality than say blindness or deafness does and to that I differ. Down Syndrome unlike say blindness is a chromosomal condition in which every or most cells are affected in a persons body. Which accounts for their physical appearance, possible physical conditions such as heart defects, low muscle tone, the way their bodies are shaped (ie pallet and the like) as well as brain cells affecting their intelligence as well as personality traits. This doesn't hold true for blindness or deafness so I think it is completely ignorance of what DS truly is for one to actually make that comparison like so many do on various opinion pieces in regards to this issue.

But on the other hand one would also have to factor in how does one condition affect who they are and this holds true for a person who is deaf or blind. Their life experiences are so much different than if they didn't have such conditions. How others interact with them, how the interact with the world, how their very own families treated them considering their conditions and other day to day interactions that all impact who we are as an individual personality. To deny this fact is to deny that any varying influences in our lives impact who each of us are as individuals even with disabilities discarded.

So for Umar not only does he have the impact on his person in regards to how we as a family interact with him, treat him, what we introduce into his life due to his DS, what he experiences and how he comprehends these experiences and thus affecting his out put of such experiences but he also has Down Syndrome which simply put impacts who he IS though he is not just his DS. If he were to not have Down Syndrome he wouldn't be who he is nor would he grow to be who he is going to be. Not only would he have much different experiences within our home and outside of it from society, but he would also lack the very extra chromosome that impacts who he is.

I don't think many get this when they discuss the hypothetical question if one would "cure" a person of Down Syndrome. Which is why so many simply don't understand the comments of Jenn Power but as a mother to Umar I so get it and can understand. Now this is not to say that I a mother to Umar would not seek medical intervention to help with his cognition for I believe I would. I wouldn't seek for him to be a lab rat for untested medications that may affect him negatively. But yes I would seek intervention to help him with cognition, the same as I took him to physical therapy or speech therapy and how many families turn to vitamins and mineral supplements in the hopes of achieving the same goal as Dr. Salehi describes.

One thing that really scares me when it comes to Umar's life is that he will have some form of dementia or Alzheimer's. I fear that and how that would impact not only his life but also the lives of my other children. I don't think this fear is unwarranted or my desire to prevent that is somehow an offence to who Umar is as an individual who has Down Syndrome. I don't think any parent or care giver of a person with Down Syndrome would turn away preventing such things from happening to those we love.

Now would such treatment run the risk of loosing my Umar as I know him? Well let us be really clear here which unfortunately much of the web is not (here and here for example) this is not a cure to Down Syndrome. I know big shock to some who actually equate a treatment for an individuals cognition as a treatment to their extra chromosome in all or most of their cells. But to what degree would such a treatment have on the Umar as is his personality and essentially who he is as a human being? This is a bigger question that of course has yet to be answered and understandably would be on the minds of many parents or care givers of one who has DS.

Many critics take such a hesitant answer to the hypothetical question if I would cure Umar's Down Syndrome as selfish. One of the recurring objections is that to the question of his future independence, or lack there of. I've found this thinking in regards to the 'burden' of an individual with Down Syndrome may place on their families as parents age a whole lot. And to be quite honest I find the notion a bit disturbing especially the manner in which it is presented as an opposing voice. And I think much of my concern over this view is that the notion of dependence is something wrong, lessor than, or abnormal. And quite frankly it leads to some severely selfish and arrogant tones by nay sayers.

I've mentioned before that I as an individual have never once questioned or concerned myself over what will happen to Umar if both me and Mr. Man pass away. I don't view family interdependence as a bad thing or something to be shunned. We are a family after all part of the larger human race in which we all in some way or another are dependent on another. Not one of us are self sufficient without need of another. So to assume that Umar is in some way lessor than because he may live with a sibling (or a sibling live with him as Umar will be a home owner regardless) or some great burden is colored with very selfish glasses. It is one prevalent cultural teaching that I detest in the US and that is independence to the degree of selfishness and a state of being cold hearted.

This concept of independence is one that I have noticed growing among Americans. We are so involved with the idea of 'independence' we do so at a very selfish cost. And I say we only as an American not that I believe, interact, or live in the manner that most Americans do when it comes to this issue. Dependence is not a bad thing and independence shouldn't be sought at the cost of others or your own empathy as a human being. I think of my father as I write this, stuck living with a son who seeks out only his desires not wanting to be 'burdened' with an aging parent. One would rather seek strangers to care for a family member than rather have their own lives interrupted in what they seek to do for the desire to be happy or achieve some goal they set with only their wants and needs in mind.

I've raised my children in a home with extended family each member living with dignity and respect. Not one is seen as a burden or a hassle for each is a family member an extension of ourselves in one form or another. We have a duty and obligation as honorable human beings to care for those who are of us and even those not of us. My children understand that it isn't all about them, that their needs are on the list of a rather large household and that no they can't always get what they want and it certainly won't be at the cost of another.

I would have thought this is something that all parents do but some way down the road of parenthood for many Americans this basic concept gets lost or distorted in some way and the desires of an individual is put over that of others. I have never seen a parent teach a child to go grab a toy from another child because they want it. We teach as parents to share, play well together, take turns, help out others, and behave in a way that shows respect and concern for your fellow playground playmates. Yet in the larger playground of life the attitude of ME, MYSELF, and I is taught and all that was good is lost.

The teaching of a larger family that includes sacrifice, interdependence, and giving to the others one that we teach. I teach it as a Muslim who believes in the interdependence of the human race as laid out within the teachings of Islam. I teach it as a parent of several children. I teach it as a daughter of a parent who lived with us and a parent who may become dependent upon me once again. Mr. Man teaches it as a core to his upbringing within a culture that is often labeled as barbaric yet has the ultimate ability to have a more collective thinking than individualistic.

Another common objection amongst those who don't understand the hesitation of parents to cure Down Syndrome is that of the idea of perfection. I've been over the fact that 90% of children with Down Syndrome are aborted due to the idea of wanting only a perfect child. I've written before about my issues with the concept of eugenics and how often it is passed on today. It comes down to one holding certain ideas as to what is valuable to a human being and how someone must be in order to add value to society.

The more one tosses around the higher righteous idea of individuals with Down Syndrome being less than in view of the greater part of humanity there are certain things I've asked myself. How many individuals with Down Syndrome do we see committing crimes? Stealing? Raping others? Killing others? And a long list of other ills that plague our societies. Individuals with Down Syndrome happen to be some of the most welcoming individuals, non judgemental, giving and simplistic when it comes to the world (and that isn't a bad thing). Yet so many suggest that there is a preference for "normal" whatever that is which also brings about some of the most vile wrongs on this planet. So tell me again how perfect normal is? How achieving higher IQs is something better for the world?

Considering that it is no surprise that many parents aren't so ready to seek out a cure for Down Syndrome?

*Thank You Dandoon for sending me this article which caused this entry

When a Man Decides for a Woman

2010-01-30T11:12:00.004+03:00

So many times I've said on this blog that women driving is a minor issue to me. That it is in the front lines of women's rights in Saudi Arabia simply ignores a much larger issue regarding the rights and choices of women in this country. It is sort of like trying to put a band aid on a gushing wound and thinking it will heal someone. A much larger issue needs to be tackled before any woman in Saudi can claim independent rights for herself.

As an American woman I have enjoyed the freedoms of my own choices since my adulthood. This isn't saying that I've made all the right decisions, but every decision I have made it was by my own choosing. I never needed the permission of any man or legal guardian (read any other male) to make decisions regarding my own life. I didn't need permission from a man to travel, buy a car, get a job, sign a lease, live on my own, get a passport, leave the country or go to school or seek medical care. All of these things require a permission of a man for Saudi women.

Now for most this isn't all that much of an issue, they have good men in their lives they don't hinder them, harm them or seek to punish them by their rule. But the very fact that the law puts these men in charge means that the abilities of Saudi women are only given or made real by a man. We often times speak of Saudi women that are leading change, who are making great strides or accomplishing wonderful things. But we neglect to remember that each of these women would not be able to do such things unless a man allowed them to.

This is the much larger issue that is at hand for Saudi women that affects their daily lives. The power given to man over women in this country dictates a woman's life and sometimes a woman's death. Mr. Man's sister had to wash and bury her daughter a few weeks ago because of her husbands rights over her. She was diagnosed with kidney disease a few years ago and was to seek treatment for it from a local hospital. At some point her husband decided that he would no longer allow her to go for care. She was kept in her home under his threat and he choose for her to not receive medical treatment and she slowly feel into a miserable state.

At one point her family tried to intervene and actually got her out of his house and she stayed with her mother. Not all women are so fortunate to actually get out of the house as their families have no rights over a woman now married to a man. Her husband is her legal guardian and no police will come to a families aid. She stayed with her family and received some treatments but had to leave her three children behind. I suppose living without her children was worth than death for her because at some point she returned to her husbands home.

A few months ago the family got a call Mr. Man's niece was laying in a hospital bed in a coma. There was much confusion as to her medical state and no real straight answer was given to her family as they watched her daily struggle in her hospital bed. Several months passed and her system started to shut down as her kidney disease and progressed to much for her body to sustain her. She had a heart attack earlier this month and passed the next day. Her body was taken by her sisters, aunts and cousins and they washed her and shrouded her in order to put her in the ground.

It was the choices of her husband made for her that lead her to her death. She could have, like so many other women in the Kingdom, received care for her kidney disease and lived on. With a supporting husband this is possible but not all are so. She left behind three children, the ones she couldn't live without. I suppose in the end she chose for herself, she went to be with her children while she could although it meant in such a sad way the choice of death.

Flying With A Saudi

2010-01-13T06:30:00.002+03:00

After watching this clip (thank you Umm Omar) I had to wonder what if more regular folk got to sit next to and talk with total strangers on a plane. How much more understanding might we have about each other? How much better off might the world be in regards to tolerance and sympathy

Speaking Of Airline Security

2010-01-09T11:56:00.005+03:00

With the latest idiot who tried to blow himself up and an entire plane full of people there comes new security procedures for certain (99% Muslim) countries, Saudi being one of them. This is on top of the procedures that have already been in place since shortly after 9/11. And not surprisingly many Saudis and those within Saudi are not so happy about being placed on that list that requires extra security checks.

However I question if extra security screening for some is the best reaction to the latest security blunder. Sure I understand it may be what people want to hear but in reality is it something that is needed? Or is this just disregarding the fact that the security measures already in place should have thwarted this mans attempts to blow up a plain full of passengers? Does one really need intrusive full body scans in order to prevent such attacks in the future? Or should the same conditions warrant that someone actually prevent the guy from boarding a single plane to begin with.

Lets take a quick look at this

1. The guys father informed authorities that he was a possible threat to the safety of others. And the father is a stand up guy , a banker, not some loon who wants to get a son in trouble because of some insane family dispute.

2. He had an expired visa in Yemen which means he in the least should have been delayed from leaving.

3. He paid in cash for a one way ticket on a visa to the US this alone should have set the bells a'ringing for any security screening.

4. Young single guy with no checked baggage Mr. Man would have been checked to the 10th degree for such an offense.

5. The ultra extreme best in the business Israeli security company was in charge. The be all and end all to airport security via fox news surely they know and should have pulled the man to the side.

With all of this and I'm sure the other things we the public aren't being told this man should have never boarded the plane without extra screening complete with a pat down. Now if the person giving the pat down was the last woman who felt me over in London my last time going through than every last bone that man had in his body would have been felt. ("it is sort of weird, like a massage in a way that isn't meant to feel good" I told Mr. Man and she didn't smile over my comment). A simple pat down would have caught it along with enough of the flags he set off, not some body scan.

I have severe issues with the body scan and I dread the thought I would have to pass through one in order to board my flight. I think they are way to intrusive to the privacy of a traveller. Now of course I want people to be safe, but I don't think we should all be subject to overly intrusive technology in order to travel. We should at least be able to fly with some self respect and not be exposed to the screening staff of an airport. Of course I have no doubt such machines will never been implemented within the Gulf Arab countries I cringe at the thought that some US airports are already using them.

Not only are these machines intrusive and exposing but they also emit radiation that can't be healthy for a frequent traveller. And shall we say something about the cost which will be passed on to the everyday traveller who has already endured massive price increases around the world. The increased price of traveling along with increased measures of security have set for a decline in traveling to and within the US already. One wonders what would happen with body scans becoming a must.

I'm sure some are wondering "Isn't this the same woman who just posted about not taking her liquids out of her hand baggage all the time". Well yes I don't and why? Because it rarely causes an issue for me. My bags are screened and I've been stopped only once this year after passing through a dozen security checks spanning four different countries. If security in all of these places where keeping security as it is laid down for most I should have been stopped a whole lot more. And if I were stopped more I would probably make more of a point of taking out my liquids in order to not endure the extra searches. Not that there is a guarantee I wouldn't forget something at some point.

Perhaps we don't need added security measures or extra security for certain countries and all that is needed is that security is followed by more efficiently to begin with. And one has to wonder where will the security measures end? If one intends on blowing up a plane in an act of terrorism what is to stop them from say inserting devices in their bodies? Are we than going to have to endure anal probes every time we want to fly?

I do think that the added security measures that are supposed to be in place in Saudi right now will continue to impact the decision of Saudis and those within the country choosing to fly to the US. Now this may not seem like such a great deal but it has possibly larger ramifications within this region. Not only will tourism continue to decline from this part of the world to the US, but also trade, students choices of university and possibly pushing relations father apart. And I'm sure this won't bother some who hold the view that certain groups should stay in their own country the question remains if it is a necessary choice? I wonder.

Back In Bahrain

2010-01-04T10:07:00.003+03:00

Seems like we just arrived and than we had to leave again I do wish we could have stayed longer. The flights were relatively uneventful considering our flight to the US. Security is always an interesting ordeal especially considering the latest in security failures I was expecting to have a difficult time but as usual things were a bit inconsistent.

The last time I flew out of St. Louis it was the first time ever I was told that they needed to pat my scarf down. I was in shock. You want to what? I kept asking because I was confused over this new security measure. What exactly do they expect to feel under my scarf? Dunno they didn't pat down my shirt, or my pants, just my scarf as if it could hide anything more than say my over sized shirts. I wasn't happy about complying, I never am when it comes to ridiculous security and I received no answer to my question "Do you make women take their wigs off? Or check hair pieces? What about weaves?"

Why does a Muslim woman's scarf deserve more of a pat down than those other mans of covering ones head? And why do I need my head patted down and not the rest of my body, a scarf covers my head as my shirt covers my chest. Make sense? Only if you view a woman covering a threat by itself.

I hate getting out my liquids and generally don't even bother. Most times I go through no problems but our last in London was a joy with Mrs. Sunshine the security woman. We had a delay in Chicago and missed our flight in London so I decided to take the airlines offer of a hotel room (two actually) for a few hours and get a shower and some rest. We left the airport enjoyed our stay at the hotel and returned latter that day. Keep in mind that in London after we arrive we go through a security screening. We are told to take out liquids and every other thing they want out. Well with five kids in tow I don't take them out. I simply don't bother gathering little baggies trying to fill it with my lotions, tooth paste and whatever they might find subject to limiting.

On our return to the airport we went through the same security and my bag was flagged due to the liquids. Mrs. Sunshine said "do you have liquids" I told her probably she said "and you don't take them out" nope I don't bother I told her and she didn't like my response and copped an attitude and wanted to give me a lecture on liquids "ok can we get on with it" I said to her that angered her even more and she ranted about her job she had to do "Well than do your job check my bag but giving me a lecture on liquids isn't part of the job". Needless to say I don't think we hit it off. So finally getting on to her real job she pulled out my large bottle of face lotion.

"You can't bring this" she said holding it up

"Why not I just came in with it" I didn't buy anything but diapers during our stop

"You didn't come in this airport with this!" know it all said

"Yes I did, from an international flight"

"No you didn't"

What was wrong with this woman I do know where I just came from "Yes I did you want to see my itinerary?" and she shut up and pulled out another bottle of something (yes I don't follow rules) "And this!" she gets angry at me

"Look this same bag, packed the same way all came through security here. I don't unpack my liquids I never do and I didn't get flagged and my bag checked either"

There is no consistency with security even little Leyna got on board with a pair of scissors this last flight. She was checked through St Louis security on a flight going to Houston and than on to Frankfurt from there. There is no additional security in Houston so her bag was checked once and she got on to two planes with scissors. Before you board in Frankfurt there is security, that caught it but said it was ok as they weren't sharp scissors but at least they checked.

No one seems to be able to make up their minds, take out liquids don't take them out. Take your shoes off don't take them off. Take out your camera don't take it out. I can't tell what anyone will ask of us at any given time. While this may be a security procedure in itself it makes for a hassle, delays and long lines in security for anyone that travels is confused. Quite frankly I think security personal is confused as well which probably explains why I can get through with large bottles of liquid (this trip it was Umars antibiotics) and Leyna passes with scissors.

But we made it home in one piece and the kids are all back in school today. Of course I had kids up at 2:30 am no longer able to sleep so it is going to be a long afternoon and an early bed schedule.

Is There A Doctor On Board?

2009-12-28T02:21:00.000+03:00

We left for the US on Tuesday night or Wednesday considering it was a 2am flight. I should have known things wouldn't go so easy considering that I kept two out of school that day for not feeling well. Mariam had a fever on Saturday, stayed home from school on Sunday but seemed fine and no more fevers so she went to school on Monday. When I picked her up the teacher told me that Mariam started to cough in the class "it sounded croupy" she said.

I went home did a search on croup and didn't hear the distinctive ''seal bark" just a cough that I have become accustomed to this time a year with her. I use some cough medicine at night for her when it is at it's worse and than a cool steamer to help her sleep. Nothing more and she had no fevers so life when on as usual although she missed school on Tuesday. Which didn't bother me I had even more time to pack and less time in the car.

On Monday night Leyna complained about not feeling well and the next morning she seemed a bit warm. No fever but just to be on the safe side I kept her home from school. The thing with Leyna is when she is not feeling so well her entire world crashes and she is as moody as they come. With such a late flight I figured it would be better to keep her home so she can rest. And although she didn't seem her normal self she didn't have anything really wrong either.

Umar has had what seems like a few dozen teeth come in all at once and developed a fever before we left. This has been going on for the past two weeks so I gave him something to break the fever, it did and we went on to leave. The flight to London was made longer with him again getting a low grade fever so I gave him some meds and it broke. He appeared fine in London, had steak for breakfast (takes after his brother) and was his normal self.

On the flight to London about two hours in he had a fever again and I treated it the same way. But than the cough came and after just reading about croup I knew things were about to get worse. Between me and Mr. Man he was passed back and forth, he didn't eat, he drank some milk and at some point developed a very bad cough. During one of his stays on my chest he decided to bless my world with the worst thing, throwing up right down my chest. Oh yes the plight of a covering woman in the midst of a long flight. I cleaned up as best I could and settled on smelling like throw up for the duration of my trip.

I went back to my seat and got Umar to change him which is when I noticed his breathing was strange. It might have been that he was lying flat on his back but it was not something he had done before. My worry with croup and him having DS is that his little airway, which is much smaller than any of my other children, would be that it closes up and he won't be able to breath. We had a good two hours until we landed so I asked Mr. Man to go and ask if there was a medical facility at the Chicago airport which is when the real drama of the trip started.

I was than met with two airline attendants, one guy who was super nice and made the funniest announcements on board and he had a list of questions for me. He left me and than I heard the announcement "Is there a doctor on board or a nurse or any other medical professional who would be willing to offer their services?" All I wanted to know is if Chicago had a clinic on site where I could go and have my baby boy checked out before continuing on to St. Louis. The attendant came back and told me that there was no one on board to help so they were contacting their Dr. who was in Texas.

He returned again with a slew of questions about Umar, his medical history, what problems he was having ect. He tried to take his temperature which didn't go well although I could feel the boy was burning up. I held him as he tried to sleep through all of this drama and explained to the attendant that there was only 2 hours left until landing and I'm sure he will be fine until than and all I really wanted to know if there were any medical services in Chicago where I could get a quick check on him. He understood but said they needed to do things for precaution and he would give me a map of O'Hare and where I could seek some medical help.

Some time passed and Umar continued to warm up but he was sleeping in between his coughs. I was than informed that after landing I would be met by medical staff who would assess Umar and let me know what to do. Before landing an announcement was made that everyone had to stay in their seats until medical staff could come on board and I never thought that I would be that medical hold up.

It happened once before a woman had difficulty breathing on flight. She was quite a few rows ahead of us so I don't know what the entire problem was about I did catch comments of 'asthma' and noticed she was laying between three seats with oxygen. Not a position anyone wants to be in, a medical concern and your feet are so far from the ground. Even if it is a small thing it certainly adds to the panic and to top it off your confined to the stares and comments of others.

Upon landing medical staff came on board and soon realized the best place for a family of 7 was to be off the plane to assess my little man. I was introduced to the two medics complete with an ambulance, a CDC representative, an American Airlines rep, a customs guy who was able to process our passports right there and someone else I don't even remember. Umar had a fever of 103 and things were quite hectic. I was told by the AA rep. they wouldn't allow me on board with his fever that I had to go to the hospital and not to worry about the rest of my family as they would go without me and I would join them by the latest 10 pm that night. Don't worry about my stroller as they would 'assist' me upon my return from the ER as long as I had a note from the DR saying it was ok for my little man to fly.

Poor Umar didn't have a clue there was a lot of confusion and I grabbed some diapers, wipes and a bottle and off we went in the ambulance. It was when we were all strapped in and set to go that I realized I had all the boarding passes and absolutely no cash on me. The driver of the ambulance rushed back up to pass on the boarding passes and off we went to the ER.

The ER staff was super friendly and efficient for the most part. The nurse and the DR was super and so understanding of the entire situation. They quickly gave Umar some Motrin and Tylenol to get his fever down and set in to find out what was up with is cough. They performed an x ray to make sure his lungs were clear as he sounded raspy but they were just fine. The DR. wasn't sure that his cough was croup until he coughed loud enough for the entire ER to hear it. Than the staff said in unison "we have croup".

Than the ER Dr. in charge came in to check out Umar and suggested that I give him tamiflu with the assumption he had swine flu. I laughed at him and told him that was ridiculous he didn't have swine flu as I knew that from half of the family having it. He was shocked "Documented cases" yes and Umar didn't get it than and this didn't strike me as anything but croup. He left defeated and I treated Umar for croup as the original Dr. suggested and was on my way back to the airport at 5 something that evening.

I had a very nice taxi driver who told me her life story as I made my way back to the airport in the freezing cold. I assumed I would get all the 'assistance' I needed considering I was dead tired and didn't have a stroller to carry Umar who seemed to gain 20 pounds in the ER. I was met with nothing but attitude "your child got sick" when I was objecting to their lack of assistance considering they took my stroller. "It wasn't something I planned for!" I retorted as I explained for the 5th time the AA representative took my stroller after I told her three times it was to be given to me at the gate. "Get a manager please" I was done arguing with a man about how I was not in the condition to be carrying my son all over O'Hare after being up for over 24 hours at that point. What I got was the attitude queen "He is your child" she is brilliant and I see why she has a job.

After I refused to budge, literally, they sent me down stairs to see if I can check out a stroller. The women there were more helpful and told me they didn't have a stroller for me and they only thing they could do was provide a wheel chair. I was so tired that I wouldn't care if they put me in a luggage trolley to cart me and umar to the very last gate in terminal 2. All I knew is I didn't have enough energy to hold this growing boy and walk at the same time. I came prepared with a stroller knowing this and since it was the airline representative who made the decision to not give me my stroller while going into the ambulance I feel it was their duty to help me get to the gate. Especially when they ride a fat man in their luxury golf cart across the airport because he is in whatever 'first class' status they assigned to him than this tired Mama could be given some help.

I finally made it to the gate in a wheel chair and it tool all I had to stay awake and care for Umar until we could board the plane. I was last in line and made the decision to jump ahead of all the business men who were waiting to board. I was cold, tired and my arm was about to break off and I barely landed in my seat and buckle up. At one point a man plopped right next to me and I looked at him probably like the most crazy person he has every seen and asked

"where are you?"

"There" and he pointed to my seat which was in the middle and I realized Mr. Brilliant who gave me the seats put a man in between me and Umar.

"Oh, I guess we'll move on over" and I didn't make any motion to move I was that tired

"It is ok. Is he yours?" he looks at Umar

I look over at him and suddenly I realized how close these seats are "No I just picked him up along the way" for the life of me I don't know why people ask these things

He laughed "Oh I thought so since he looks so comfortable there"

I moved over struggling to buckle up he asks where I'm coming from and he recalls his trips from Russia and can totally relate at that point why I look so crazy. In two seconds I was nodding out and didn't care if I was snoring or not. I was less than an hour that we landed and I met up with the rest of my than freezing kids whose father didn't manage to find their coats. Really what would they do without me?

In The States

2009-12-27T17:57:00.002+03:00

I've been in the states for over a week and been very busy. We came to the home with absolutely nothing in it so I've been shopping my little heart out. I blew my budget so I won't be able to shop anymore, which is good I'm a bit tired of fighting the crowds at the malls. Hopefully this will give me some time to finish up a few blog posts that are waiting to be published.

My Apologies

2009-11-25T09:33:00.005+03:00

I would like to apologize to the man driving that little blue car in front of me on Saar road this morning. I honestly didn't mean to startle you, it is just I've been in the car for way to many hours this month and I guess realizing that I won't have to do this for a few days for Eid holiday got me in a good mood. I was almost home, the kids were already dropped off at school and sometimes it is good to let loose in the car. Considering that I'm in it at least 3 hours a day I have to make the most of it.

Part of the blame should be put on the DJ of Radio Bahrain who usually annoys me. I mean how much talking over songs can one do without annoying every single listener. And you would think since they know when the news is about to be aired that they wouldn't play a good song and than cut if off especially if you consider the crap they put on the air to begin with. It could be worse, it could be that guy at 12pm who constantly turns the volume up than down to talk, than up than down to talk at least five times. I swear it is like being in the car with one of my kids playing the volume control.

But he chose a song I hadn't heard in such a long time and I just couldn't help but to get my grove on. I know a hijabi woman rocking to the beats in her car isn't what you would think of seeing so early in the morning. But I can't see how it is that odd to you that you so blatantly stared. The double takes that you did through you rear view and side mirrors weren't all that necessary.

Honestly man you didn't have to slow down either that just annoyed me and almost messed up my grove but it didn't stop me from singing off key. I was close to home where I could park in my driveway and finish out my grove with only Naomi staring at me like I lost my mind. But she is familiar and easier to ignore than some stranger who stares. Perhaps it was all a bit new for you that we Muslim gals do cut loose once in a while, but we do. We are just like everyone else who have a bit of fun here and there especially if we are going a bit car crazy. But the thing to do when you see anyone grooving in their car is not to stare but to smile and be happy their enjoying their life and move on in your little blue car. And if the feeling hits you groove to your own beat, I promise I won't stare.

You might be wondering what it was that got me so excited in the morning well here it is. Maybe not your type of music but it is an American oldie that is sure to get some of my fellow readers bums moving in their chairs I'm sure.

Is It Time To Stop Blogging?

2009-11-24T10:00:00.002+03:00

I asked myself the other day if it was time for me to stop blogging all together. I mean lets face it I haven't been a very good blogger lately. This is my second entry for this month and some times I feel like I'm repeating myself a bit too much. I mean how interesting can my live and views of it be to other people?

My life is rather boring if you ask me. I'm just an everyday kind of mom doing everyday kind of mom things. Who really wants to listen to that?

Than I thought well who cares if I talk to myself, I mean I'm a mom I'm used to that. And if I stopped blogging where else could you get these kinds of entries...

The other morning in the car on the way to school I was reviewing Science with Jihad and Hannah. One section involved what organs made up the female reproductive system.

Me: "Jihad what organs make up the female reproductive system?"

Jihad: "Oh man this is embarrassing... eggs, womb.. vaginal"

Hannah: "not vaginal... vageeena"

Me: "no not vageeena"

Between the two: "vag - i- nal" with a hard g

Me: "No not vag- i - nal.. Vagina!"

Both: "ohh"

Jihad: "what is a vagina anyway?"

Me: "I told you before I won't say it again"

I know he asked to get the entire car started on a gross conversation I didn't want to have a 7:15 am

Jihad: "Yea but what does it do?"

Me: "Go ask your teacher"

Jihad: "what will she say?"

Me "I don't know ask her, or better yet ask your father" and I pass back the phone

Jihad "I'm not saying Vagina to him"

Hannah: "Ill say it"

phone rings.. laughter and giggles.. Hannah: "Baba.. (giggles) umm Jihad wants to know (laughs) what a vageena is"

Me yelling "It isn't a Vageena it is a vagina"

Jihad laughing

Hannah to Mr. Man: "oh.. ok Jihad wants to know what a VAGINA is"

on speaker phone Mr. Man: "A Vagina?"

Both: "yea"

Mr. Man: "Its a womans private parts"

Jihad: "Yea but why does Hannah say when a girl gets to be 13 she has to wear a diaper?"

They hang up on Mr. Man and Hannah laughs saying "NOOO I didn't say it Leyna said it"

Leyna: "I did not"

Hannah: "But they do"

Jihad: "Why wear a diaper?"

Hannah: "for the babies"

Jihad: "You can't wear a diaper on your vagina you'll kill the baby"

And The School Year Just Started

2009-11-08T13:50:00.002+03:00

There I was sitting in the car with Mariam and Umar on a Saturday waiting for the other three to get out of school. They had their first Saturday class to make up for some of the days missed due to the closure by the ministry. The phone rings and I am told I need to see the Principle of Jihad's school tomorrow morning. I breath deeply and think "this can't be good" and set a time for 9am.

I meet the kids after school and I spot Jihad from a distance walking slowly. He has a note in his hand and walk towards me and I ask "What happened?"

"I got in a fight. "

"What?"

"Ok look I was going in the school after you dropped me off and I bumped into this kids leg and I said sorry and walked off with my friends. He thought I was laughing at him and he chased after me, pushed me up against the locker and called me a bastard so I punched him in the face"

"Good" I don't think that is what the Principle was expecting one of Jihad's parents to say but it is the same comment Mr. Man gave too.

This year hasn't been without incident for both Hannah and Jihad but nothing to this extent but I guess it is inevitable. All of our kids are now being taught that if someone hits them they are to hit back. They need to stand up for themselves and not be bullied. We have had continual problems over the years and this year didn't seem to get better for Jihad or Hannah.

The first issue was with Jihad who had some nasty mouth girl dropping the F bomb at his work table on a constant basis. But not only that she proceeded to tell him "f-you" but also "f your mother". Nice mouth this hijabi girl has on her. I told him to tell her to stop, which she did and after two days of this he had enough. He told her stop or I will tell and her response "go ahead I won't get in trouble". So Jihad went to the school counselor and told him who in turn told the Principle and Jihad left that encounter believing that the Principle didn't believe him that he let the girls go and this was after this brazen girl walked into the Principle's office and said "F you" to Jihad (yes she did) so he could hear it.

The principle denies that this is the exact set of events and is confused why children don't trust him enough to come to him with problems. Mind you he is proud of being 'harsh' and is known for yelling to the point of absolutely scarring the wits out of Hannah "He yells louder than Baba". Nothing happened to the girl and he yelled at Jihad and I told the principle that Jihad's perception, true or not, is that the girls got away with it.

"she had to apologize in front of me" he insisted although only for cussing Jihad in his office not for the things she said before or about me.

"Yet she cussed him as soon as they left and said 'see I told you nothing would happen' so how do you think Jihad felt?"

Let me tell you this meeting did not go well for a few reasons one was his inability to actually hear what I was saying and just think I was attacking him. I am telling him as a parent what the children in the school perceive of him as the Principle, he took that personal and thought he could blame me. BAD MOVE!

But back to the fight, according to the Principle Jihad is an "honest boy, he tells the truth even if it is against himself. But he acted in anger not appropriate. This other boy, also honest and very quiet just went to Jihad and put his hands on his shoulders and admitted to calling Jihad a bad name and than Jihad punched him in the face twice."

Make sense? Not to me.

"So you say Jihad is honest?"

"yes he is"

"And is Jihad known to act out of anger and hit boys?"

"No"

"Is he known as a trouble maker or a bully?"

"No."

"But what your telling me is that this boy, after Jihad ran into him by accident, calmly walked up to Jihad put his hands on Jihad's shoulders and called him a bad name that you say Jihad didn't even hear and than Jihad punched him in the face?"

"Yes"

"That makes no sense to me at all and I can't accept that."

I don't think he liked that, nor the fact he had two parents in his office saying quite honestly that yes we have told our children to hit back. That Jihad was not in trouble with us and that we don't believe he was totally in the wrong. Was punching him in the face a step beyond? Could have been I wasn't there but I wouldn't take too kindly to a boy coming and pushing me up against a locker. And unlike the principle I don't think this boy just was as calm as could be and did no harm to Jihad. This is the first time Jihad has acted out like this in school so he must have felt threatened enough by this boy.

"So did Jihad chase after this boy and beat him more?"

"No"

"But you want me to believe that Jihad just punched him in the face for no reason and allowed the boy to walk off?"

No it didn't go well at all and I have a feeling any future meetings won't be all that pleasant either.

Now what is really funny about this whole ordeal and an example that the Principle used to show us Jihad's honesty about the situation, however don't forget he doesn't believe Jihad when he says the boy pushed him hard up against the locker but he went on about how honest he is. The boy who got hit wasn't going to say anything it was Jihad who told on himself.

"So after you punched him what happened" I asked

"He went to his friends."

"Did he tell?"

"No"

"So how did they find out?"

"Well my hand hurt and I went to the nurse for ice, she asked how I hurt it I told her I punched a boy in the face"

He has a two day in school suspension and parents that stood by him although we told him next time to respond in kind. "He pushes you push, don't take the first swing" Again not what the principle was looking for.

Helping Sinan

2009-11-06T18:17:00.003+03:00

I was actually going to make a long post detailing some of the costs that parents of children with specific needs tend to have. How things work in Saudi in regards to finding the help, than having the help that is there available to you when you a. aren't covered by insurance and b. can't afford private care.

But I'm tired and unmotivated to really do such a writing at this point. And each day I put it off is one more day I put off telling you about how you can help Sinan get the care he needs in the US. So stop by Abu Sinan's blog and check out his post and plea for assistance to get his son the help he requires.

I will be back with the post I had in mind, a long one and I'm tired from driving. Kids have a six day school week in order to catch up on days missed so I'm going to be a bit out of it.

Umar Update

2009-11-03T08:43:00.004+03:00

So I know that some of you read just because of Umar. Forget about me and what I blog about it is all about the boy. Don't worry my feelings aren't hurt he is my favorite too. So without further delay I'll give you an update on how my boy is doing.

Yup that is right my boy is walking and doing it very well I might add. He tends to keep his legs spread wide apart to keep his balance and at times reminds me of a little robot walking about. But the fact is he is walking everywhere at 19 months. He has been working hard on this for the past month and he has a ways to go, he isn't running yet, but I'm so very proud of my boy. Although this does mean that he gets to places I wish he didn't.

One of those places is the couch! Yes mothers of the world this short little boy with his short little legs swings them up high (thanks to his flexibility that would put any gymnast in awe) and pulls his little strong self up on my couch. When I'm sitting there I will swing his little leg off and he puts it right back up only for me to swing it off again. He than has the nerve to get angry and yell at me with the fiercest of faces and put his leg right back up. Strong willed he is and happy as a clam when he finally gets up on the couch. He knows how to scoot down but sometimes doesn't judge the distance properly so he has to be helped or he'll take a tumble.

My plan was to start him in speech therapy but we ran into a bit of a hiccup with that. I wanted to take him back to the same therapist I took Leyna to in Saudi. There was talk of trying to bring her to Bahrain once a week for some of the other ladies in town who have children with DS. Mr. Man would have provided a driver for her making it that much easier but I received a message that she couldn't come. I gave her a call to find out she is six months pregnant and will be stopping her practice for about four months. Of course after she gives birth we can't expect her to want to come to Bahrain with a new born. I congratulated her and told her I would look for someone else. She was really upset because there were no other options for the ladies in Saudi.

So I began my search at the Children's Academy here in Bahrain. I have spoken of this school before an British based special needs school. I remember reading they had a speech therapist and also had after school appointments. So I gave them a call and asked if they have services for children who weren't enrolled in the school, happily she said "YES". A wonderful word to hear folks when it comes to therapy options for the boy. BUT since the ministry of education shut the doors for all preschools, KG schools and special needs school until Nov. 1st they were unable to take him until after that date. I'm waiting now for them to finish their first week of school, get a schedule together and call me back letting me know that Umar is ready for action. They cost 25 BD a visit (250 SR or 67 USD) which is more than what I paid in Saudi by 10 BD (100 SR or 27 USD). But I'm hoping that they will be set up better for such a young boy and do so well I'd be willing to pay double that if they asked.

That will be his only therapy as I have stopped taken him to Physical therapy. Since he is walking, pulling himself up, and doing so many movements that we take for granted such as bending at the west and picking something up from the floor and pulling himself back to a standing position, I honestly don't feel the need. One Saturday when Mr. Man is off I think I'll take him in to see Bayzura for an evaluation and she can give me some tips on how to get him to bring his legs in closer when walking.

I'm also planning on finding a preschool for him next year. I want him to become a bit more strong in his balance before I do that in order for him to keep up with the other kids. But I think putting him in a few hours a day several times a week will help him in interacting with other children without resorting to violence. Yes my boy is violent. He isn't biting as much, he didn't take to me plopping him down on his bottom when he did so that is a good thing. However when little kids try to come up to him in the park and want to kiss him on the cheek (He is a baby to them) he will swat them in the face as to say get away from me. He also holds his own on the playground with children older than him which is a good thing and his best friend is an 8 yr old boy. I think that says not just a lot about Umar but also a lot about that boy that he would take to a small child like he has.

Umar is also taking an interest in following what others are doing which is a wonderful thing when it comes to sign language. He is starting to really want to follow along and is trying which is great for his development. He also is very smart and understands how things should work not that he can always get it right. Such as shapes going in certain spots in a shape container, but he gets frustrated when the star won't fit into the circle than pulls my hand to do it. Alba unfortunately gives in easily and does it for him although I've told her to stop. He has to be forced to do it on his own and figure it out. By the end of her vacation with consistency with Mama I think he'll do a bit better with that.

So my boy continues to surprise me in the most wonderful of ways. And I have no doubts he'll continue to do so the rest of his life.

Where Am I?

2009-11-02T18:14:00.002+03:00

Well in the car most of the time from three to four hours a day as a matter of fact. Yes I'm now the family driver and I'm annoyed with it. Mariam started school this week which means my driving schedule has become totally insane

6:30-6:45 am we leave the house usually on the latter end of that because I have to remind kiddos to brush their teeth, their hair, and tuck in shirts. Did you know that a boy tucking in his shirt means he is a nerd in their school? So what looking like a slob is the new cool look? Brat kids I tell ya.

Back at the house around 7:45-8:00 depending on traffic and I can't say enough how people just don't know how to drive or are rude drivers. Here is a clue.. your not the only one that matters in the world!

Than I'm back out at 12 noon to collect Mariam from the mob of moms that think only their children are worthy of anything. I now wait in the car till they are gone and I'm left with as little contact with parents, maids and drivers as possible.

1pm -1:30 we are back at the house, depending if I have to pick anything up

2:30 I'm on the road again to go collect Hannah and Leyna and Jihad unless he has after school soccer. Back home between 3:30 and 4 again depending on the idiots on the road.

If Jihad has soccer I'm out of the door at 4pm to collect him and drag myself through the door to do the whole dinner, homework, bedtime routines that will drive anyone mad.

Now if this wasn't all annoying enough I get the added bonus of loosing the nanny for a month. Her parents are coming to Saudi from Morocco thanks to her brother who got a visit visa for them (he works for Mr. Man). So they have 30 days and so does Abla who smiled as she went from a six day visit with them till a full month and committed to staying with us until July when the kids are finished school.

So not only am I loosing help with the kids, which means I have to fight Umar during homework time when usually Abla can take him and Mariam to the park or give their baths. But I get the added bonus of putting that poor boy in the car for the same amount of time I am. Nice huh?? I need a driver for this month.

Wondering why the maid will be no help with Umar? HA I can't even leave that woman alone with my MIL without it being a problem. I was about to toss her out last week over some stupid drama she caused over the way she behaves towards Mr. Mans mother. But that is a whole other blog post in itself.

Anyway I have a slew of things I want to say, more on that woman journalist (sentenced to 60 lashes than pardoned but I'll give the full scoop latter), child custody laws and its failure to protect children, and the ever important update about Umar.

So that is where I am in the car usually yelling at some idiot driver. Although I'm trying to relax and make it as stress free as possible, but than I drive on roads in Bahrain and know that is an impossible experience.

And This Is Why!

2009-10-20T09:17:00.002+03:00

I just posted on children not running errands alone and that in Saudi it is not uncommon to see young children running around a neighborhood unsupervised. And just so I am clear on how dangerous this is.

Man who raped 9 children arrested
Arab News

JEDDAH: Jeddah police arrested an African national who allegedly kidnapped and raped nine Asian children in two Jeddah districts, a local daily reported.

The rapist threatened his victims with harm if they reported the rape. Police received a large number of reports from families complaining their children had been raped. The rapist targeted children aged between 9 and 12. He used to wait near a grocery shop and monitor children playing in the street. The man then took his victims to an isolated street before raping them.

Northern and Al-Safa police center launched a massive manhunt and distributed a description of the rapist. Secret police eventually arrested a number of people who matched the description.

In a lineup, some of the victims managed to identify the rapist. The police center recorded six cases while the Al-Safa center recorded three.

Saudi Gazette gives other details on this case.

Boys as young as nine running freely on the streets. I am angry every single time I see such small children just out running around with no one watching them. And there is no shortage of evil people that are willing to take advantage of this situation and take the innocence from a child and scar them for life.

Prove Innocence?

2009-10-18T09:55:00.002+03:00

Being an American I'm familiar with the quote "innocent until proven guilty". Now the American legal system surely isn't without fault and at times some are assumed guilty but instructions given to the jury are quite clear that a prosecutor has to prove the persons guilt. I'm sure one can argue how reliable the American justice system is, jury by ones peers, prejudice and racism, and economic disadvantage may all and do play into innocent people being found guilty of crimes they didn't commit.

What is interesting to me, not only as an American but as a Muslim who firmly holds to the believe that the Islamic legal system is based on the idea of assumed innocence until one is found to be guilty or confesses their guilt. That Saudi, one that claims to uphold the Islamic legal theory in their courts (although one can argue, and rightly, that it is one narrow interpretation rather than being in total spirit of Islam to begin with) that one is asked to prove their innocence.

Such is the case with the female LBC reporter who is being brought to court for her involvement, or lack there of, of the 'sex braggarts' t.v spot. She is assumed guilty and is being asked by the court to prove her innocence. That she, and two other women, are being charged at all I find questionable. These low ranking part time reporters aren't decision makers at LBC. They aren't the producers or company executives who make the decisions on what to air and what not to air. So why choose just them? Easy targets of course, and they are women to the idea that Saudi women are involved in broadcasting this mans interview is probably just as appalling to some as the man they interviewed.

To catch up some of my readers, LBC is a Lebanese based broadcasting group that had a few offices in Saudi. They air various news shows and other programs all in Arabic. This Saudi man Abdul Jawad decided to openly discuss his sex exploits, and he lives in Saudi, on the air. You can see the video for yourself although it is in Arabic. I won't even comment on his "red room" with teddy bears but I do wonder what his concoction to get women in the mood is and have to wonder how many he took advantage of with it. He was sentenced in Saudi to five years in prison, 1000 lashes and lost his car and his cell phone, not that they matter much after he is in jail. I feel bad for his mother who related how is is a 'good boy' and recites Qur'an and there is some mix up. She evidently didn't know this divorced father of four spent his time roaming the streets for women.

I've mentioned before that things go on in Saudi that many don't want to admit. Men and women do hook up, plenty of booty calls even though people deny it. This man has brought out of hiding what many of us know. Men cruise for women and girls and they find willing participants to join them for sex. Yes people are outraged this man showed his sex toys on tv but he is one of many roaming the streets night and day that no one really does anything about. They use blue tooth, the chase women in malls, the harass women going out to eat. We see it all the time it is no secret so I suggest Saudi society wake up to that fact.

Should the man be lashed? Well considering what he did is against the law in Saudi yes. If nothing else for his stupidity to go and publicly put his face to his exploits as it was something to be proud of in Saudi society. No matter how many times he blames it on LBC for putting him in a 'bad light' during the interview doesn't change his words, his red room, his toys, or his bragging of having so many women.

I do question that the reporters or any low level employee should be brought forward with criminal charges. They don't make the decisions to air such an episode they are only gathering information, or interviews, in order for their executives to make the final decisions. That this man chose to say what he did and a broadcasting station used it doesn't surprise me. I'm sure their ratings went over board. And why should a reporter be held accountable for something that goes on daily by too many Saudi men on a daily basis? This is a problem in the society, this is happening, they don't make it happen they only report it. If ministries or citizens are angry, offended and upset about this is it really the reporters fault? Would it really be better to ignore what is going on instead of bringing it to the publics attention?

If these women reporters are at fault with airing things that shouldn't have been is it really a criminal issue where they could be subject to jail and lashes? Or is this a matter for the Ministry of the media to handle with fines against LBC and its executives and the reporters if they find that their choices were in violation of the regulations laid down by the media laws.

At the very least these women who are being accused should be accepted as innocent until proven that they in fact held the executive powers to air this episode for the world to see. And if the overall society of Saudi starts to deal with the sexual issues that are going on in Saudi due to this program isn't such a program worth it? But sadly I'm sure these women will be lashed and the society will continue to ignore what is an increasing problem.

Children Shouldn't Run Errands

2009-10-11T09:09:00.002+03:00

There are a few issues I would love to see changed when it comes to parenting in Saudi. Near the top of my list is the fact that adult parents, especially mothers, use their small children to run errands to local neighborhood shops. I'm sure for some it seems safe enough, it does for a nephew of Mr. Mans (yes the same one who won't tell his wife to buckle up). A local little mini mart type store that is in the neighborhood maybe a few houses down or around the block where one would pick up those daily items like milk or eggs. It may seem harmless, a few minutes for a small child to run to the store, get those eggs and run back. But a few minutes is all it takes for someone looking to harm children to snatch your child.

Mariam will be five in December (inshallah) and I only let her play next door alone and even then she is checked up on several times. She isn't allowed to the compound park alone and we live in a gated villa compound. I certainly would never choose her to go run down to a mini market and run my errand even if it was just down the street. Many however don't think the same way but luckily this little girl was able to fight back and escape. But that a parent doesn't give thought to sending a five year old child on an errand is common and she won't be the last little girl to get abducted.

I always mention to Mr. Man my horror as I look on at young children, especially boys, who run the streets without an adult in sight. And I'm not talking teenagers, but rather young children who have free rein to go anywhere they please. He usually remarks "we did it as children" but is Saudi the same as it was when he grew up? He recalls a time of safety, where everyone in the neighborhood knew everyone else. A smaller town not over run with strangers and fast cars. A time when the perversion that exists in Saudi today was totally unknown to him. Such times have changed long ago and it isn't safe for children to run around the streets or be sent on errands because a parent is too lazy to get off their bums to go with them or instead of them.

Sadly it isn't unusual to read in the papers where a child is abducted and raped by some perverted man who seeks out children who are alone. No Saudi doesn't hold a monopoly on this but it exists and parents need to wake up to this fact and safe guard their children a bit more. Rein in those boys who run the streets with no supervision don't use your children to run errands and keep a better watch on your children.

It could be that I'm over protective but at least my children are safe and I know where they are.

Saudi Men Can

2009-10-10T19:06:00.003+03:00

I was going through some pictures this week and stumbled across one that I knew I had to post here. I know that there is this idea that Saudi men can't do things within the home and with children. This isn't really just an idea the outside world has because even Saudi women have this impression that Saudi men just don't do certain things.

I remember the first time I handed off Jihad to Mr. Man in front of his family members to change a diaper. There were mostly women in the room who all gasped and were in shock that I would send off a child to "THE MAN" to change a diaper. How insane was this American woman? I just laughed and told them "He does it all the time in America I'm sure he can handle it"

There is also the idea that they can't pick up after themselves. While this is a battle between Mr. Man and me at the moment, I think in part he just got lazy and used to household help, and part living on his own during the week with no one nagging him to pick up. But this habit was changed a bit while we were in the US, he even washed a dish or two and helped at breakfast time. So I am witness to the fact that yes Saudi men can actually DO for themselves and in the house.

In case this is still questioned and one requires proof look at this!

Are We Destined To Become Our Parents

2009-10-06T19:31:00.002+03:00

This past summer has really opened my eyes to some things, part good but part not so good. And as I have sat back and thought about certain aspects of my experience I've come to question if we are, in some part minor or large, destined to be like our parents? And if we are is this a good thing or bad? Should we embrace it or work hard to avoid it? I think some of this largely depends on who are parents were.

My father asked, himself mostly, what did he do to deserve 'this'. This of course being a lonely old man who is being not only neglected by his only son but in some forms abused verbally and emotionally. Life for him isn't the best, not that he has made the best choices either. He has health concerns like diabetes which he controls through diet and medication as well as COPD which he further complicates due to his severe smoking habit.

Even with these health issues I've watched him slowly just start to fade away and not really hold an internal drive to want to live. He speaks often, as many old people do, about when he dies and what he would like done for him and his 'money'. Which to be frank, after he has given large sums to my brother over the years there isn't much left at all it might buy his grand kids a few school books one semester but nothing much beyond that. But his drive to live is about coming to a halt and so is all that goes with living such as good hygiene, the desire to meet with people, the need to get out and be a part of the world. This isn't an easy thing to see but I do think a part of it is a depression considering his living circumstances.

This is not to say my father is a peach of a man to live with I don't ever remember him being such either. In fact I breathed a sigh of relief when we, as children, were told my parents were divorcing. He was always an unhappy man and made those around him unhappy as well. As a father he was harsh, critical and physically abusive which I got my fare share of. So it is understandable why I wouldn't mind him leaving, in fact I never really sought a relationship with him after the divorce. I saw him less and less and since neither of us liked who the other was at the time we simple stopped talking it being a mutual decision but both claiming soul ownership to the fact.

I'm not all that angry about that, I mean we stopped talking when I was 15 and it is hard as a young person who needed more support than ever feeling as their own parent gave up on them. But at this point now I'm not upset with him in the very least over that part of my life. I mean I'm a grown woman (forever 17 remember) and I've come to learn that there is no real need to hold onto the anger and hurt at some point you have to let it go and move on.

This is not to say that as a daughter I wouldn't like to hear an apology or even a word of regret for the decisions that he made as an adult and as a father. But as he so makes a point of saying so many times in our talks, he has no regrets and he makes no apologies for who he is. I've come to accept, although I don't understand, that I won't get out of him what I think I should. No not money, not any inherited heirloom passed down from one generation to another, but rather an acknowledgement from a parent who just wished they did better.

No, that isn't my father for as I've come to learn his world has always been a selfish mode of thinking. He always did what pleased him or what he wanted no matter the cost to others around him. No criticism could be laid at his feet for he was always right and it was others who got it wrong. He held to his beliefs, no matter how ignorant they were/are and justifies it by one way or another. He was never open, you had to guess what was going on with him beyond him just being angry and he had several vices which lead him in wrong directions.

Now as I watched my brother on the few occasions that we did see him, storm through the house, be a grouch and speak to my father with such contempt I figured out that he is my father. I also realized how ironic the entire situation was, for really my father is the source of my brothers anger, the source of his blame for all that is wrong in the world and the source of all that he says he hates. But yet he is him in so many ways and the saddest part of it all is that neither realizes it.

Now I wondered am I my mother? And yes most women will knock a man out for uttering such a thing but I admit there are ways in which I am my mother. Mr. Man says I have the 'boy' preference my mother had. Yes my mother was one who had a preference for the male gender when it came to children. This wasn't just in relation to my brother, who so sadly disappointed her in life, but it extended to Mr. Man as well. I don't know how many times she took his side in matters of dispute in the house, or made excuses for things and just did that boy preference mom thing she did with him. Yes in the big picture Mr.Man earned that right with her, he was more than good to her, he was a real son to her, but she didn't have to take his side over mine!

I don't know if I really have that, even if Mr.Man claims other wise. I just tend to want to protect Jihad (Umar well ya'll know he is my favorite) from what I see as harshness. Be it from his father in punishment or even the world in general. But I don't think that is any different than the girls but it does make a good amusement for Mr. Man as he teases both me and Jihad about it.

But there are other things about my mother I see in myself. I'm antisocial, I lack the tact or willingness to suck up to people, you always know how I feel be it good, bad or indifferent. I want to see the best out of the ones I care for and tend to extend myself too much at times and it comes back to bite me in the rear, as it did with my mother on many occasions. I'm creative in my own way and I picked up some, thought not all, of her shopping habits. And for the con part of the list once my mother set her mind up about you that was it unless you made drastic changes to yourself as a person forget it. I tend to be the same way but generally people don't prove me wrong either. I don't warm up easily with people and I have the habit of being blunt, to the point it may offend others and have been accused of being a bit cold, all my mother's traits.

So it leaves me to question, are we destined to become our parents? Be it for the good and the bad? And I have to wonder how this relates to gender? Am I taking on traits of my mother due to gender influence or because she was the only real parent who formed my upbringing? And if this is true, I wonder how that will affect my children? Will they become like me in some ways? And if so, what do I need to change to ensure they become better people than me?

This change of course would not be in them, but in myself thus meaning a whole no study of self and how to become a better person so they are in turn better. Could I be over thinking it all?

"I Didn't Really Kill Her"

2009-10-06T14:55:00.002+03:00

One would think at times you are reading a comic strip instead of an actual defense for various crimes here in Bahrain. If I knew Arabic better I would find my source of entertainment in a court room here because just reading the defense arguments are just so ridiculous surely it is a joke.

Background: A Bahraini man killed an Indonesian house maid and dumped her body. He got caught but is evidently claiming innocence.

Defense argument: He didn't really kill her, nope surely not what happened was she pissed him off and he through a screwdriver at her and she passed out. But he thought she was dead he panicked and decided to dump her body so he put it in the trunk of his car and was caught.

A few things though

1. Her throat was slit and people actually witnessed this. Yes it appears her sponsor was there when it happened and so where other members of the family as they held the sponsor back from aiding this woman who was being murdered in the families home.

2. Defense says that the defendant couldn't feel a pulse but fails to mention dude his a nurse! He should know more than others if a person is dead or not.

3. Defense says he didn't kill her really, he just hit her upside the head and than put her in the trunk of his car which could have killed her but he didn't. He also dumped her body which animals latter took pieces of but he didn't kill her maybe the act of dumping her did it but he didn't.

Make sense? Well if your a Bahraini defense attorney maybe it is as good as a gang of men that gang raped a women were good boys just having harmless fun.

Men Don't Listen

2009-09-29T11:21:00.002+03:00

After a few years of marriage Mr. Man should have learned that listening to me would be the smartest decision he ever made. Perhaps it is his Saudi influence that prevents him from doing just that. You know the male Saudi thing where men think they know better, can decide better, and are better than us little women who are so dependent on them. But perhaps now that he is sitting in his teeny weeny apartment in Saudi with the swine flu he might finally come around and listen to the Mrs.

Ok so pipe dreams they are as he will say "yes you were right" as he usually does (or I force him to) but than continue on the path of not listening to the wise one. Yes you read that right Mr. Man has the swine flu which he caught probably from Hannah who caught it during her trip to Jeddah. And yes the one thing I told him not to do, if you remember from my last post, he did and won't be living that down anytime soon.

Some might think well how cruel is this woman give the poor Mr. Man a break he has the swine flu after all. But this is after two days of talking to him about my concerns over them catching the swine flu while in dreaded Jeddah (I hate Jeddah for many reasons this one will top the list). He just ignored my motherly concerns and assured me no worries everything will be just fine I was simply over reacting or worse yet wanting to keep my children away from his family. (we women all know this guilt trip). So away they went with my words "Don't bring home the swine flu!"

Two days ago Mr. Man started with a fever that is AFTER he spent some time with Umar, hugs and kisses and loads of playing in the teeny weeny apartment. What fun he had bonding with the 'best boy in the world' he told me. While I was happy for their father and son time I wasn't happy when he told me about his having a fever latter that night. He went to work the next day, in order to share his germs with his entire office and returned home early with a "very bad fever".

I knew it then the man was a walking swine flue carrier and I asked "when can you bring back my kids here" since I was in Bahrain with now two sick ones, Jihad was now having a sore throat but nothing more. "Tomorrow" he told me and than I went on here, caring for the swine flue carriers I have here only to receive a call from Mr. Man at 8 something am the next morning that he was at the hospital "I tested positive for swine flu" Of course my concern was about Umar and he needed to get him out of that teeny weeny apartment and back to his mother.

Umar, along with Mr. Mans mother, Leyna, Mariam, Abla (the nanny) and Naomi (the maid) have all arrived here and I did an exchange for Hannah and Jihad who will sit with their swine flu infested Baba in the teeny weeny apartment in Saudi. He has instructions to actually feed the children as they both still have very big appetites even if they are sick and give them plenty of fluids. A friend of mine asked "Well who is going to take care of them" huh Mr. Man is going to be like any other parent and take care of them while he is sick "It is the same for mothers!"

He assures me they will "go into drive thrus" to eat, hey at least he is going to feed them. And they have been sent with work books and pages already marked for them so I expect that all to be finished upon their return. Of course Mr. Man wants to take them to the hospital but this American Mama told him there was no need. Hannah's fever is gone, she now is stuck with a head cold and Jihad only has a sore throat and no fever at all. According to the hospital Mr. Man has a 'mild' case of the swine flu and there are no big worries. Other than the fact that he was around Umar while contagious as well as his mother.

There is no telling if our household would have eventually caught the swine flu. And we are quite thankful it is only a mild case and nothing severe so far. And as I told Jihad "Be happy it is mild and your immune system can build a resistance". So yes things could be worse but I'm still going to remind Mr. Man once again that he should have listened to his very smart wife!

Quarantine The Bean

2009-09-26T20:45:00.003+03:00

Yes Hannah Bean is in quarantine since she came back with some sort of flue. Swine flue? Dunno and I won't take her to the Drs just to check for it either. I told Mr. Man don't be bringing that swine flue back from that drasted Jeddah and sure enough she came off the plane looking so sad and coughing.

We have taken action, she has a fever and other flue symptoms so she is in quarantine. I put her in Leyna and Mariam's room and sent those two off to Saudi with their Baba. I also gave my little man Umar the boot as I don't want him getting ill. Now it is just me, Jihad (he has school work I will make him do) and poor sick Hannah Bean. And she is the one in the house that you just want to cuddle when she is sick but I can't. Nope no spreading germs!

See men don't listen! The one thing I told him not to do he probably did! And yes it is his fault.

Mr. Man, Jihad and Hannah went to Jeddah for the Eid holiday to see family. It was good for her, she got to see her cousins, come out of her shell, and bonded with her youngest Auntie and go out shopping. Which is probably where she picked up someones cold (flue whatever it is). But her Arabic improved in that short period so there is always a bonus.

So keep the Bean in your prayers inshallah she'll be over this soon and the little Man doesn't catch it.

She Is Annoying Me!!

2009-09-25T14:35:00.001+03:00

Just check her out she'll annoy you to!

Click here

For The Record

2009-09-25T00:11:00.003+03:00

If I ever had a baby that was 19.2 flippen pounds I would kill Mr. Man slowly. That little baby beside him is like WTH is that??

Swine Flue Madness

2009-09-24T21:42:00.002+03:00

So it is official, got a message from the school today it will be closed according to the Ministry set dates. Hannah and Jihad will return on Oct 11th, Leyna Oct 18th and poor Mariam Nov 1st. They will make up for the days lost by first extending the school year to July 1st. Which is only one week gained. They also plan on having school on Saturdays (thus a six day week) through out the school year. Jihad said "I will have a riot at the school" when he heard that. Evidently he is delusional and thinks he has a choice to attend school. It is as if the boy has lived in someones elses home all his life, choice? This is a dictatorship he is going!

I had to laugh today as a friend of mine sent me a message today "Just returning from the water park". So much for swine flue concerns. I took Mariam, Leyna and Umar to go see cloudy with a chance of meatballs (I would give a review but I didn't see much as Umar decided to scream the entire time which meant I was in the hallway entertaining cranky butt boy). and it was packed. Loads of children and their parents no concerns of swine flue.

And I'm not the only mother not happy about this in fact a few hundred are said to be planing a street march to show their displeasure. I can't help but think there will be an outbreak of swine flue among the parents thus defeating the purpose of shutting the schools to prevent an outbreak.

Rumors abound all of which you can catch on this face book page. If they intend on closing the schools until January, let me know so I can leave to our house in MO a bit earlier that way I can get a better discount on my tickets. I'm sure the kids would love to go beats sitting around here doing nothing. Although Mr.Man might complain about a budget (what is that anyway?) not supporting my spending habits in the US. And with the increased baggage allowance at Gulf Air he might be right.

Teachers are in limbo and some worse yet have been laid off because their jobs are on hold for two months. But they can get compensation, see how expensive this gets for the country in general, depending on their circumstance. Rumor mill has it that some teachers are leaving due to the up in the air policy that the MOE seems to be setting. Not knowing if you'll have an income? What your work load will become vs what a contract states it was to be and many more issues that we don't seem to know because no one is talking to educators or schools.

There is a mixed bag with parents. Some are afraid and think not having school is good but probably some of these same parents are at water parks and the cinema. Others are sick of the targeting of schools for if one were to follow the logic shut down the entire kingdom and be done with it. But for more reading check out the letter section of the GDN they are a good tabloid sense of entertainment.

As for me I'll be making a study plan for the kiddos on Saturday.

Kids don't need no edumacation!

2009-09-22T16:23:00.002+03:00

Not if they live in Bahrain that is. It seems the board of education has decided in their ultimate wisdom that the perfect way to combat against swine flue is to close schools until mid October for most and November for KG and Special needs schools. You thought most of my kiddos were in school? Well they were and than they had this week off for eid which has now been extended until October 11th for Hannah and Jihad and October 18th for Leyna. Oh and Miss Mariam was excited to finally be able to start on October 4th well scratch that because she won't start until November 1st.

Make sense? Well sure because kids are free to go to the malls, the water parks, the cinemas and restaurants in order to pass around the swine flue. I guess as long as it isn't done in a classroom setting they aren't seen as 'responsible' for a flue actually doing what it will do regardless, which is spread. No worries about fees related to running a school, or making up missed assignments, or squeezing in a curriculum in a shorter period of time (stuff it pass them all). Won't have to concern themselves with parents who now have to figure out what to do with their kids or teachers looking for pay checks for their own families. Nope shut the school keep them all germ free and ignorant.

I'm sure most kids will be super happy I know I would if I were Jihad who is probably planning out how he can spend his time between the wii and the PSP. Of course that is until this Mama tells him we will be working on English, reading, writing, spelling, all that good stuff and I will be calling up the tutor who is a teacher and passing her on some extra income to come here three times a week to keep these monsters going in Arabic. I'll also be contacting the school and see what assignments they can be doing at home (extra credit would motivate them more) and how we can best make use of the time.

I think this will force me to home school because I'm quite sure that come mid October the Ministry will than decide not to open schools until December. If that how it turns out I'm leaving to our new house a bit early.

Eid Mubarak

2009-09-20T15:00:00.002+03:00

From our family to yours I pray this is a wonderful day for all of you.

Notice my little man all dressed up for Eid? Yes he is a cutie and nope you can't have him!! I have no idea why he is dressed up we do nothing on Eid, nothing exciting to get dressed up for. The only two dressed up in this house is Umar and Abla (the nanny which explains his Moroccan outfit). Evidently they have plans we don't know anything about and it turned out to be too much excitement for my boy because he is napping it off right now.

Ramadhan was hot this year honestly I had one day where my head was literally going to explode because I was so dehydrated. 115 degrees is just plain torture inshallah next year we will be doing it in the states. Sure a longer day but ya know 90 degrees is tolerable. Hannah and Jihad did exceptional fasting with very few complaints. Their growing which I'm happy about and sad about all at the same time.

At any rate I hope everyone enjoys their Eid and if you don't celebrate well have a happy Sunday!

Elaborate Just A Little!

2009-09-18T12:03:00.003+03:00

This is a prime example of why I so dislike reading English news papers in Saudi. I've tried to explain it to people with examples like "An article can read Man buys goat, man feeds goat, man dies" and that is it! Honestly I'm not really exaggerating too much. Take a look at this article.

14,000 infant deaths reported
Arab News

JEDDAH: The number of infants who died in the Kingdom during the Hijrah year 1428 (2007-8) was approximately 14,000, according to a report issued by the Ministry of Municipal and Rural Affairs. The largest number of infant deaths was reported in Makkah (5,392), followed by Riyadh (4,152) and the Eastern Province (1,196). About 29 percent of these were children of expatriate workers, Shams Arabic daily reported.

Yes that is all there is to the article, no explanation, no discussion, no information. 14,000 infants died in a span of one year and it gets a blurp in the news. Hello!!!! What the hell kind of reporting is that? 14,000 infants dying is a big number, at least to me. And so I want to know why? What are the causes? These infants have expatriate parents, ok so what the hell does that mean? (used hell twice you know I'm frustrated)

I as a reader want to know how they died, and what age is 'infancy' to them and how does them being expatriates play a roll into infants dying in such larger numbers in one year. Yes actually do reporting with investigations and evaluations of an issue. Now if the reporters (and I use that term very loosely here) at Arab News need a helping hand in what questions to ask let me ask some for you.

What is the listed cause of death? From there you would look for a pattern, is it SIDS? Is it premature births? Malnutrition?

Is the cause of death in line with infants from Saudi families? If not how does the cause of death differ when it comes to expatriates?

If the answer is related to birthing, such as still born, premature births, or complications it would lead me to ask what type of prenatal care did these women receive if any? Do expatriate families of certain income levels receive significantly less care during pregnancy? If so why? Is it due to the rules of Saudis only receiving free medical care? Or is it an education issue among certain expatriate families?

If it is SIDS I would look into issue related to is it among a certain community where this rate is higher? And what can Saudi health officials do to help educate the population (both Saudi and Expatriates) about SIDS (note bundling babies up like they do here in thick blankets on their bellies doesn't help)

Now I'm sure if a reporter puts their thinking cap on they can come up with a whole lot more questions to ask. And in the end maybe address the social need for expatriate women who are pregnant to have access to health care. Every pregnant woman should be cared for, either by a private hospital or a government hospital. I feel the same way about children as well. If Saudi can fly in families to aid them for medical treatment those living on their own soil can certainly benefit from such charity from the government. Even if they have to pay a subsidised fee based on their income it should be done.

In order to address these social issues it would be a great help if there were some decent reporting. I know hold my breath until I burst it still won't happen, especially with Arab News.

Ever Wonder?

2009-09-09T22:00:00.003+03:00

There has been countless times in my life when I'd be driving along a main road or highway when suddenly I would see a shoe in the middle of the street. For the life of me I can't figure out how in the world people loose a shoe in the middle of a busy road. I've wondered how that could be? Were they moving and their shoe suddenly fell from a box on a moving truck? Did someone have their feet out of the window and it fell off? Did someone loose it after making a narrow escape across the busy intersection? Or why didn't a mother see when a child threw their shoe out of the window?

In Bahrain it has been even more odd when I've noticed a complete pair of sandals (on more than one occasion) simply left behind. It looked like someone just opened a car door and put their feet on the ground, slipped off their sandals and left. Could it be some odd game of the owner where they secretly watch from afar as people curiously look up on these pair of sandals? Or was a driver caught lounging and Madam is a real B?

I'm sure I'm not alone in wondering how in the world people loose a shoe in the middle of the strangest of places. It seems odd to me that a person wouldn't realize at some point they have one missing. I look at these shoes and wonder what in the world is wrong with people. And I'm sure the people who saw a nice new black school shoe with a pretty silky black bow and glitter stones on the toe of the shoe and a decent brand, Hush Puppies, wondered how in the world could the little girl who lost that not notice? And what in the world is up with the mother that lets her child loose a school shoe?

Well I'll tell you. I've been going a bit crazy trying to pick Leyna up at 1:30 and Hannah and Jihad at 2:30 so I'm a bit surprised only a shoe was left behind. Yesterday I picked up Leyna with the company of Mariam of course, and I decided to drive to the store and pick up some things instead of waiting in the heat for the other two. I was rushing back because I was a tad bit late (only five minutes) and I drove up to find Hannah and Jihad waiting where I was told "Mama we had to come from the sixth floor and walk all the way here and we still beat you" Hannah's way of telling me she didn't like the wait.

Jihad jumped in the back stepping over lazy Leyna who seemed more asleep than awake, she complained when I picked her up of being very hot and that tends to make her zone out on the way home. Everyone was in, seat belts where on, even Mariam was buckled up in her new pink booster we got from the states and off I went. We talked about their day, how things went, and our plan to eat at Chili's for dinner. After we pulled up at the house Leyna complained she couldn't find her shoe and muttered in a mix of anger and frustration "Jihad always steals my shoe" and went off into the house. I asked Naomi (our maid) to go and help Leyna find the shoe out of the car and than I went on about my afternoon until 5:30 when we left for dinner.

As we were going out of the door Leyna still complained of her lost shoe, I ordered her out to the car in search of it and asked Naomi once again to help her. After the two of them and myself looked in every possible place in the car we couldn't find it. So I asked Leyna when was the last time she saw her shoe "in the car" well yea I got that but before or after we picked up Hannah and Jihad.

"Before" she said
"Did you have your shoes off?" I asked in annoyance at this point
"Yes I was hot" and the tears were going to start any second now
"Where did you have the shoe?" giving her that look telling her not to start the water works
"By the door" and her voice got squeakier
"Jihad came in the car on your side?" now she knows she is in trouble
"Yes.. no.. I don't know!" with tears
"Jihad did you get in on Leyna's side of the car today?" exhale, breath, exhale, breath
"Uhhh yea I think so, no I got in on Mariam's side...no wait it was Leyna's side" confused if he just admitted guilt
"And you didn't notice that her shoe fell out of the car???" fasting remember
"uhhh no there was no shoe" confused as to how he is going to get of this
"Leyna you didn't notice your shoe..."

No sooner did I turn to her than that girl was screaming crying and running up the stairs saying something about how everyone hates her. So instead of enjoying our ride to Chili's for iftar (Hannah and Jihad are fasting now too so I hate to be late) I had to drive 20 minutes out of the way to the school in order to pull up and let Leyna go collect her school shoe that was sitting in the sand as lonely as could be. Yes folks we were the family that left that shoe in an odd place and how so easy it happened. I don't think I'll stop wondering how people loose shoes and sometimes I'll wonder if it is a story not unlike mine. But one thing for sure as I count heads to make sure everyone is in the car and than make sure everyone is buckled up I'll now have to ask "Does everyone have all the shoes they came with?"

Our Home

2009-09-07T12:58:00.008+03:00

Welcome To Our Home

This is the entrance to our home where Mariam
will rush to greet anyone coming in.

Notice that Mariam will walk you through this
grand tour. She is now standing in the dining
room. To the left are two huge windows which
allow loads of sunshine to brighten up the home.

To the far left is the entrance from the dining room into
the kitchen. Where you are sure to always find Hannah
looking for some goodies. We have all brand new
appliances that came with the home. I also noted where
the closet is to hang guests coats and a storage area for
all my kitchen goodies. To the right notice where I marked
there is a door leading to the outside, just don't step out yet
it is a long way down we have yet to build a deck.

Standing in the kitchen you will see our sitting area complete
with a fire place for those cold winter MO nights. A large
bay window brightens up the entire area and than off to
the right is a hallway leading to the front of the house.

This is the storage closet in the kitchen. Where I
will be sure to place many of my Sam's club purchases.

This is the hall way to the right of the living room.
You'll notice I marked the bathroom, no need to
show you and the laundry room. Right behind (from
angle of taking the picture) is the door leading to
the basement.

Through the laundry room is our two car garage. Notice the
huge van we rented for a small ransom while in MO.

This is the main portion of the basement what I didn't take a pic
of is the entrance from the stairs which will be my scrapbook
area and a small bench me and Mr. Man can snuggle in. This
main area will have two sections, one a sitting area and another
will be a bathroom with shower.

This is the basement and shows you the plans for the 2nd window
(somethings you notice after the fact) in the section that will
be Hannah's bedroom. She is going to have a huge room when
it is over with and something tells me she won't be spending too
many nights down there alone so she'll need it.

Master Bedroom

Master bathroom and take notice to the HUGE window
right above my tub. So I need window treatment ideas
I so don't want to go with plain old blinds blaah boring. So
let me know if you come up with some good decorating
ideas.

To the right of my sink is this big closet which I'm sure
Mr. Man will have no problems filling (he is a closet hog).
And in case your wondering the toilet is to the right of this
closet in a room all its own. I'm sure it will be the best
hiding spot in the house.

Mariam's room I did manage to get curtains up before I left.

The view outside of Mariam's window.. now don't ask me
why we chose MO this should be sufficient enough of an
answer.

A corner room for Leyna I would have loved this room as a girl

Leyna's closet

Kid's bathroom

Jihad and Umar's room

The rest of Jihad and Umar's room as you can see with a large
closet (all rooms have this)

The view outside of Jihad and Umar's room which leads
to a nice big hill which will not be complete until I slide down
after a good snowfall. Think I won't? HA!!

And that is all folks thanks for visiting!

Back To School.. well kind of

2009-09-07T10:46:00.002+03:00

The kid's school, along with many other private schools in Bahrain, was scheduled to open on the 1st of September. However, in their plan to fight against the spreading of swine flue it was delayed until the 6th of September. Which in the end means that the kids missed only three days of school. How this is to protect the children from swine flue is a bit beyond my comprehension, especially since the Kingdom is just getting started in their inevitable infections among the residents of Bahrain. But whatever the Ministry of education decides than so it is.

However not all are returning back to school as the kids found out yesterday. Leyna's class was missing 8 children on the first day back. Jihad and Hannah's class (they are now in the same class) were missing 10 children. Most of the Al-Khalifah family decided they didn't have to attend the first day or will be among some who choose not to attend classes until after Eid (not surprising at all). In the end they'll miss out on ten days of class have no fears it won't affect their grades for who would fail someone of the royal family.

Mariam would have been starting school tomorrow, I say would have because they delayed the start of all Preschool and KG classes until October 4th. That is an entire month of school as she was scheduled to start on the 3rd of September, don't think I'll get a month discount on her fees though. She is starting KG1 this year as I decided to keep her back a year and not put her in KG2. She was born in December which is the cut off month and I just didn't want to push another child in their schooling. I see the difference with Leyna (who is at grade level) vs that of Hannah and Jihad (who are a year ahead) and having Umar honestly has taught me not to rush it and let it go at a slower pace. I have no doubts she'll flourish even if she is one of the older kids in class.

School is going to be quite interesting for me this year because I have the privilege of being their soul source of transportation. This isn't so bad in the morning as I can drop them all off at 7:15 am and leave (Leyna can even walk Mariam to class). However it is the pick ups that have me wanting to scream. Mariam will be released at 12:30, Leyna at 2:00 and Hannah and Jihad at 3:00 except on Tuesday as they have an early release of 1:20. I have no driver and I won't allow any of my children on a school bus here so it is up to me to go absolutely insane and do the pick ups. Not sure how I'm going to work this other than Leyna having to wait an hour at school four days a week. If she has after school activities it won't be that bad for her but I hate to ask her to wait, although she'll have the company of other kids in school who do the same thing.

I've also came to learn over the holiday that I have to socialize Umar outside of our home. He has learned some bad habits, fully encouraged by his bad siblings, which he needs to unlearn before we even think of getting that boy in school. I'm sure you're thinking school? Is she crazy? But I will put him in a nursery as soon as I'm able in order to help him learn the school environment early on. I'm hoping this will help him in the long run and I have further ammunition to fight any school her in Bahrain that I choose to take on to accept him.

Little Man is a rough one, probably the roughest one I have had yet. Sure this is to be expected since he is growing up the youngest from five older ones. But I'm not sure how much understanding from others he'll receive when he pulls their hair, bites them, or knocks them upside the head with a toy. Yes it seems our bully Umar knocked a friends 10 month old (only child too what a shocker for him) upside the head with a toy hammer. Just wailed him for no reason other than it seemed like fun to him. This does mean that he can certainly hold his own when it comes to the other four, but doesn't give him much social grace at all.

He isn't unlike other children in this respect however considering he has DS it might make it more difficult for him to unlearn these behaviors especially when they are supported and encouraged by his siblings. Sure we might laugh when he takes a bite and runs off laughing, at times even stumbling over because he is amused. But this only supports the idea that what he is doing is a good thing which will carry over to school. Trying to convince the nanny to be firm when he tears her face apart (he has a habit of grabbing a hold of your flesh and bringing you to your knees) is difficult enough. Trying to convince the kids not to laugh when Umar clobbers Jihad is proving to be impossible.

On other Umar news that boy is really going to walk soon! He can stand up by himself he needs no aid to pull himself up at all. And he can stand for quite some time. He also takes small steps, nothing that will get him across the grand canyon but they are a start. I think all he needs is some confidence and a bit more balance and he'll be off. Which is exciting but also a bit scary because who knows where he'll be off to, fear of new things (other than people) just isn't in his vocabulary at the moment.

Moo

2009-09-01T14:28:00.000+03:00

I don't think Umar will ever be a farmer, he doesn't seem to like cows.

Taking Flight

2009-08-23T07:40:00.002+03:00

I haven't forgotten to upload pics of the house I just haven't had time. I have to take new pics with the sod in it really makes all the difference to the outer appearance to the place. Mr. Man had quite the time setting up the sprinklers on set timers but hopefully it will all work out. We did find a teenager (and his father) to come around help with the yard, run the water inside the house (so the pipes don't freeze) and just keep an eye on the place.

The neighbors are super friendly and have been told we will be away until December so they will keep an eye out as well. The head of the neighborhood watch not only wants to take Mariam home to "Miss Kitty" but will be looking out for mail and the house as well. We must seem a bit odd, we buy a home and a few days latter leave the country.

Usually when I'm away from 'home' in Saudi (or Bahrain) for such a period of time I am ready to go back. I want nothing more than to be in my own home, with my own things, living my boring life even if it is in the heat. But this time we aren't in a rush and could hang out even longer here in our new home. It will be interesting to see how our sense of 'home' changes or even if it does.

Ramadhan Mubarak to all I'll update with pics as soon as I get over my jet lag.

What Differences Does $5.10 Make?

2009-08-19T19:13:00.003+03:00

Well when you are closing on a house it means getting your keys or not. So ladies when you find out your closing cost has changed by even the smallest amount and you ask your husbands going out the door "Do you have the checkbook?" and he answers "Yes". Take it from me that you must ask to physically see it!

Yes, Mr. Man walked out of the house without his check book and our closing cost changed by 5.10 USD because we closed two days earlier. I think it was the estimated land tax that changed the fees. Nothing very important in his mind as he went to the bank the day before to get a cashiers check for the amount of the house (no mortgage is a wonderful feeling) so he just assumed he had a check floating around his brief case. He sat in search for a single check, not a check book and I said "Yea I'm blogging this!!"

Thankfully our ever so wonderful real estate agent was there with her check book. If anyone ever needs a real estate agent in the St. Louis area please email for a reference she is fantastic. The time she took with my boys while they were here alone and helped them choose such a wonderful house there aren't enough good things we can say about her.

Keys in hand to our brand new house we will set off today just to look at it. I'll take some pics and upload them tonight. The area is perfect and even though our lot is small and not what I initially set Mr. Man out for I think it works out better because I don't have to worry about much yard work while I'm away. Also having a community pool means I don't have to worry about the upkeep, total bonus. And we are surrounded by a lakes and parks with trails and fishing. In fact we go the worms in the fridge and we are off to toss a few lines in the lake today to see if anything bites.

4 Hours In Best Buy

2009-08-16T07:00:00.002+03:00

I can't believe it was that long but it was. Four hours in that store with clerks apologizing a dozen times for taking so long. Why did it take that long? I'm not really sure other than Best Buy has a way of zapping time from people. Good news is the store survived the five kids who I must say were rather good for being in there so long They were rewarded with gift cards from our purchases so it worked out for them (more wii games)

Just to note, TVs are much more expensive here. Of course I should factor in that we are buying a bigger TV and that it is HDTV (whatever that is) but still expensive especially when you add in the 300 dollar install charge!!! We almost had heart failure (free with purchase in Saudi and Bahrain). But a TV is high on the priority list when you expect kids to sit still while you decorate a house.

A washer and dryer is also top on the list with five kids. Mr. Man made the mistake of suggesting we 'wait' for that purchase but than I asked "Are you going to go drag the clothes to the laundry and wash them?". The answer of course was a purchase of a washer and dryer (nothing real fancy and I could have went all out on some fancy machine but than for those prices I'd expect it to fold).

The house is coming along on schedule and we are very pleased with it. The plan is to have the security system in place asap and the basement finished by the time we arrive in December to go sledding down the huge hill that is down the street. It is a really great area, so many tress around and easy access to parks. Mr. Man did a good job even if it isn't the acres I dreamed about. I'll save that for the retirement house when the kiddos get older.

We are all very excited about the house but it is kind of sad that we close than three days latter we are on a plane leaving it behind. What is exciting is that next year I get to spend my summer shopping in order to decorate the house. So any decorating sites that you ladies know of send my way!

Arrived in St. Louis

2009-08-07T19:32:00.002+03:00

We arrived on Wednesday afternoon in St. Louis and I tell you I couldn't leave my brothers house fast enough, I even forgot a few things. He came around before we left, dropped his kids off and talked to Yehya. I was in the living room trying to find Leyna's mp3 under a pile of junk and he says "well I have to go now" I didn't even turn to recognize him as I said "Bye!" and showed my excitement at finally finding the mp3.

I've learned to forgive wrongs done to me. I mean if I can forgive my father for our differences and move on I can just about forgive anyone. But wrongs done to my children are a bit harder for me to get over. I guess I'm just not that person yet.

Right now I'm trying to catch up with my scrapping which is hindered by the fact that my EHD is not reading. Crisis mode as it has all my pictures on it so I'm going to try and find a place today and see if it can be recovered. So I better take this free time (Mr. Man took four kids to the pool) and get some work done. I'll update again soon.

Somethings Only A Mother Can Tell You

2009-08-05T05:43:00.002+03:00

Lesson number 2849 a diaper is the last thing you want to accidentally put in a washing machine with your clothes. Just FYI they don't hold up well, I don't think it is the water as we have all seen those things sag down to the knees of little kids in a water park. I believe it was the agitation of the washing that made it break down to small little gel like balls that fly everywhere when you shake your clothes out before you put it in the dryer.

Quite a mess which I would have been doubly annoyed with if I was in my own house. I consider those gel like balls that are in the basement with the spiders a parting gift to my brother. Just thinking about the annoyed expression on his face as he tries to figure out what they are almost makes the mistake more of a blessing.

The 411

2009-08-04T17:01:00.006+03:00

I posted yesterday than deleted it because I was leaving out some updates so I thought I would re-post giving all the updates.

1. I'm a legal driver!!! Yesterday went as smooth as pie with my road test, I tend to worry about things for nothing (most mothers do). It was expensive 242 USD. I paid 200 for a driving school to come pick me up, give me a quick lesson as to what the inspectors look for and to take me to DMV to get my license. The guy was super nice, a high school chemistry teacher who is rather young, but his car was a mess. If your going to have a driving school, clean your car.

It was also interesting to spot some of the habits I've developed as a driver over the past few years. I learned parallel parking to judge by the doors as a guide, but with the driving school car they put marks on the windshield to help with the parking. It was three separate spots to judge by in three motions, which would have been really easy if that was my first experience. But after parallel parking for some years now (remember I'm forever 17) it was difficult for my mind to remember the spots. No real worries though, during the test I was in perfectly.

2. I was tired during my test, well exhausted is more like it, because at 9 pm the night before I realized that little darling Leyna was infested with head lice. I have read the nightmares that mothers have gone through dealing with head lice and I dreaded the thought. It is such a pain in the rear to not only have to pick through her hair but also to treat the house, cleaning, vacuuming, and spraying for these little buggers. Add in that every time I think of them and the fact that girls has slept in my bed for several weeks makes me itch!

So at something after 9 on Sunday night I had to call my ex sister in law to tell her about it so she could check her kids, they are both fine. I had to run around checking every ones head, all are clear and than have crazy Hannah check mine. "I see one!" she would shout over and over again just to annoy me. Than to top it all off I had to call my brother to run to the pharmacy to get something for her which came with the added pleasure of his girlfriend asking a zillion questions in the background.

In the midst of the exchange I asked "who am I being inspected by?" He was asking questions like "You just found out?" and "you didn't notice before?" like I've been some neglectful mother that let her child's blood be sucked by these little bugs. If that wasn't' a phone conversation I would have had Mariam go punch both of them.

I had noticed that a few weeks after our arrival Leyna's hair got more dry as time passed. Her hair would frizz out, kind of like she stuck her finger in the socket so I associated her constant itching with a dry scalp. I scrubbed her hair with different shampoos and conditioners to help, I put in leave in lotions added oils to her hair and the last thought was to get a treatment for an itchy scalp.

The directions read to apply right to the scalp so that is what I did. I spotted white spots but I thought it was due to the dry skin so I continued it didn't take long for me to notice something move on her head. I thought "Noooooo can't be" and kept inspecting until I found another so off I went to the Internet to do a search for I don't have any idea what lice are, until now of course. Sure enough my poor girl was up until 12:15 am as I picked through her hair with a fine comb which has to be done again today.

3. Mr. Man arrived yesterday and the kids are so super happy. His first flight was delayed to he had to catch a latter flight out of London. He is of course a single Arab guy flying into the US so one can expect him to be selected for a special screening. Not surprising but he was aggravated as usual especially since they pulled his luggage for inspection to, a first. He arrived in NY behind schedule and without luggage we are waiting for that to be delivered now.

4. We are leaving tomorrow and I can't wait!! Woooo HOOOOO I'm out of this house which is falling down around me, although Umar is helping it along. They boy has pulled the fire place doors off their hinges. He has pulled the heating vents apart, although they were falling apart. He has found every piece of dirt on this floor and tore off pieces of wood from damaged doors. Umar has brought child proofing to a whole new level!

The house is a junk fest! I swear one day someone is going to go in the basement and be found days latter in a spider web drained of their insides. There are so many of them down there you really have to watch where you walk. I thought there was a clear path between the steps, the washer and the dryer but there isn't. I dropped something and didn't notice until my next trip down there to change loads, spiders got to it. Freak me out!

The electricity continually goes out. If you have the window AC on in the living room, the television, the window Ac in the bedroom and than try to turn on the microwave or toaster oven at the same time the breaker will blow. So that means I get the pleasure of going down into the spider's den several times a day to reset it. The joys of travel.

5. Because I like to share my joys of life here I have a story. Yesterday as I was updating this blog my niece came in with a snicker across her face as she said "Umm I think Jihad needs your help." I took a deep breath and asked "Why?". She giggled as she responded "He is stuck on the fence." Another deep breath "What?". She giggled as she explained that Jihad decided to jump a fence but got caught up by his pants which were now torn and his underwear. So I went to the room for my cover and grabbed my camera "Your going to take a picture?" my niece asked in surprise. "Of course" I said for what scrapping mama wouldn't.

I headed out back where a I saw Hannah under Jihad trying to help him, a neighbor boy from above trying to help him out and my ever so pleasant nephew just laughing at him. I powered up the camera and looked up to see the most pathetic expression I've ever seen on my son's face. He was sweating profusely and I looked down at a sight that would make any men cry out in pain. The look on his face as sheer desperation took over and tears swelled up his eyes made me forget about a picture and want nothing more than to save my boy from the pain he was enduring. As he cried out "Mama help me please!" I raced over and pushed him up on my shoulders as a neighbor boy tried to work his pants off of the fence. Hannah stood and screamed at my nephew who, considering the nature of that boy, just stood and laughed at Jihad.

It took a few long moments to finally relieve my boy of his turmoil and I don't think he will try to jump a fence any time soon. At least not until his Mama teaches him her tomboy ways of how to push out and off instead of falling straight down.

6. The best update is one I almost forgot to post. Umar took his first step today, a small one but a step all on his own.

Watch The Right Hook

2009-08-02T17:16:00.003+03:00

Earlier this week I finally got out with the kids to the beach. Since my brother's daughter was under my watch yet again I wasn't able to take a local bus into Ocean City so I had to ask my brother for a ride which he complained about while we was doing it. Since I have been using his car, his girlfriend has decided another way to be a pain in my rear, besides limiting my use of it, is by insisting they are the safety patrol and insist that Mariam be in a car seat.

Legally she should be in a car seat, she is four and not even fifty pounds. But I don't have one and the one my brother has he left sitting in the open garage since my last visit. (December of 07). Thanks to his lack of housekeeping skills it is not only dusty and dirty but has creepy crawlies all over it. But he decided, after giving me a computer printout on information about car seat recommendations (his snarky girlfriend did that) that he would insist she be in that one for the ride. As he was pounding dirt off the of the seat I told him no way was I sitting that girl in it.

Mariam also protested, she started to cry after he told her she had to be in it. "Tell Uncle Patrick I'm a big girl not a baby". I calmed her down and told her yes she is a big girl but the laws here are different, not that she understood any of that. She settled down in the back and we made our way to the beach with Mr. Grumpy at the wheel.

When we arrived I was getting the stroller ready for Umar and my brother was helping the kids out of the car. Mariam came back to me crying that Uncle Patrick was mean and I asked what happened. "She hit my dad" my niece said. It took me a minute to digest what she said and I looked at Maraim "He is mean I'm not a baby!" she screamed through tears. My brother came around the back of the car and with his usual grumpy way "She hit me! Right in my face and knocked my glasses off!!"

I scolded Mariam for hitting especially a grown up and she has to tell him she was sorry. Inside me I was cheering my little girl for doing exactly what I have wanted to do this entire trip. It has been so bad here and my children are angry at my brother and rightfully so. So fair warning I'm raising girls with good right hooks!

Hey Sears I Am Who I Say I Am

2009-07-29T22:38:00.004+03:00

During one of my few shopping trips I hung out at sears. They were having a sale on clothes and I decided to try and rebuild my credit, as at this point I don't have any. So I applied for their card and got an instant approval. I used it for my purchases, one in clothing and one in electronics using my passport as an ID as I don't have a DL yet. No further ID requirements were needed and it was a simple and painless process.

I've been waiting for the card to be delivered in the mail as I don't want it to get lost. I received it along with a separate letter from the fraud department stating that they needed to talk to me about my recent account activity. I didn't even activate the card so I was more than confused and quickly called, first thing in the morning.

I was put on the phone with a real person after two tries and after I cussed the phone as well as it is giving me problems. The first person told me they couldn't talk to me as the fraud department put a block on the account until I talked to them. And they transferred me to a representative of that department, early in the morning where the chaos began. I was told that they have a new standard when it comes to opening an account and I had to answer some security questions and I went along with it.

First question, have I ever lived, owned a home or registered a vehicle in a multiple choice of four questions. She listed off four counties two of which were in Illinois and two in Louisiana none of which sounded familiar to me at all. Of course your talking to a gal who started calling her children by numbers because I can't always remember their names. So I had no idea what to answer as I lived in both states.

Second question was about an address and the first one sounded familiar in regards to the number but the street name sounded odd to me. Now if Mr. Man were around he would probably have had to help me with this as he has a better memory but alas I was on my own. I laughed at myself and answered none of the above. And the same for the third question which didn't seem to go well for the computer.

"you failed" said the rep
"Ok give me another test as I don't remember all the addresses I've lived at over the course of a 15 years" I said thinking this whole thing is stupid.
"well do you have a phone number? A land line registered in your name we can verify?" do people have land lines in this country anymore I wondered
"No" and than I explained my ordeal to her but she seemed not to care and went on to tell me that "your account can't be used because you can't prove your identity"

HUH??

"You gave me a card based on ID I provided in the store" I said thinking this whole thing is turning into a night mare

"Yes but that isn't good enough anymore because people can use all kinds of fake ID" she said
"Well than stop giving instant credit in the store!!" I was getting annoyed
"If you write a letter..." she went on
"A letter? How about a fax or an email? We are in the 21st century!" yea I needed breakfast before this call.
"No it has to be a letter."
"What difference would it make?" I ask
"Well you need to send the original letter in which we sent you with a letter explaining your problem and than we will decide." how she says this without laughing is beyond me
"This is ridiculous let me talk to a supervisor please" I'm more than frustrated
"We can't let you speak to a supervisor because your not verified"

What!!! ???? I can't even talk to a supervisor? How annoying this all is.

I have no time to write a letter, I don't even know the price of stamps anymore and I would be more than willing to fax them but to go all out of my way to identify myself when I already DID to get instant credit in the store is just plane stupid.

Ok yes you have to be careful considering identity theft, but as I told this woman "Look if you are so worried about identity theft than don't allow instant credit in the stores. If my ID is not good enough why allow instant credit in the first place?"

I mean really Sears if it seems really backwards to ask to prove an identity after you have GIVEN the instant credit!

The representative had nothing to say other than "we can't" as if she speaks for all of Sears so I told her fine "Than what I can do is not use your card at all, pay my bill and close the account!"

She didn't care which seems a bit counter productive to seeking business for a credit card. Not that I'm going to make huge purchases and keep a balance on the card. But it would have come in handy when I have to furnish our house in St. Louis and I could have used it at Sears to furnish the house. Even shop online and have things delivered before we get there.

But no Sears chooses to aggravate me and it will take me a while to get over being aggravated so early in the morning. I mean consider this, someone can open an account in my name with various ID that might be fake and use it that day and destroy my credit possibly. But I, the real person can't answer their questions although I have ID up the wazoo and keep the card.

Make sense??

For Mr. Man

2009-07-26T21:24:00.001+03:00

Because he doesn't follow my scrapping blog I'd figure I would tease him a bit here.

Only 8 more days!

From Bad To Worse

2009-07-25T21:59:00.003+03:00

If I ever talk to my brother again after this visit it will be a miracle. I thought things could get better but they have been worse and of course the entire thing is my fault. My brother suffers from delusions of always being the victim add in the fact he believes the entire world owes him and it matters not what you say or do you will never get through to him.

What sucks in all of this is not that I as a grown woman have to deal with the fact that my brother is an absolute arse and come to accept that this is a relationship that can never be fixed. For goodness sakes the man lives in the past and is jealous because our father treats me differently than him (make no mention that he treats his father like crap for he is the victim remember). I guess I'm not missing much because we never really did get along even as kids. But I figured as adults who are supposed to learn and grow and become better people. See I had hopes, quickly smothered by the fact that my brother is self consumed the likes of which I wouldn't think possible in a person. I have to realize that I've become a much different person, with different outlooks on life and different values than him and just let it go.

However I have five children, seven if you count his two that he leaves with me day after day, in all of this and they don't understand why he is ignoring them. He hasn't spent any time with them at all and contrary to what he believes, my children aren't slow to call a spade a spade. They are bored, tired of this house, tired of being ignored by their uncle and tired of being in a place that isn't theirs. It would have helped the situation if their cousins shared, or didn't have ridiculous tantrums over the smallest of things or if their uncle took them out. None of which is happening, so they suffer and I feel so utterly bad for that.

I've apologized to my kids a dozen times and have pinned their hopes on to the fact that Baba is coming soon to rescue us from this ordeal. I take my DL road test on the 3rd (I would have left before if I had a DL) Mr. Man comes in that same day and we are leaving on the 5th. We have a little time before Ramadhan starts to fit in all the fun I was hopping to have while Mr. Man was still in Saudi. Fun isn't the word I'd used to describe this ordeal at all.

Inshallah next year we will arrive at our own house with my own car and we can live our own lives minus family that doesn't seem to want us at all. Only 11 months to go for that!!

10 more days here and counting.

Medical Tourism in Saudi

2009-07-23T18:05:00.002+03:00

I've spoken quite a few times about medical issues in Saudi be it medical treatment, care, or making decisions regarding ones medical care. What I've seen as of late is that there is a drive to have more non Saudis to come to the Kingdom for care. This ranges from separating conjoined twins which is always in the press or Saad Hospital advertising heart related treatments.

At a recent emergency dental visit (nothing like breaking a tooth on vacation) the dentist said to me "If I'm going to need treatment I would rather do it in America". And I thought about that and honestly I can't say the same when it comes to all ailments. If I ever get cancer (ya Allah please protect me from that) I would stay put in Saudi. I would seek out the wonderful doctors that were involved in my mothers care. However if Umar needed something in related to his DS I would return to America.

Medical care depends on many factors, facilities, medicines available, doctor's knowledge, patient knowledge and even how a patient is treated overall (follow up care, in home services, group support ect). Having my father recently in the hospital here I know that idiot Drs exist anywhere. I was told over the phone by Dr. Paprika (that is what his name sounds like) that he had cancer. I asked for a prognosis "He is a strong man" I asked if he wanted the xrays that he had in Saudi in order to compare growth "we have all we need here with CT scans they are much better than xrays". The next day he tells my brother "I never told your sister he has cancer" and it turns out he doesn't have cancer. And this is not to say someone can't get the same in Saudi I related here how I was told of Umar having DS.

So no country can claim they are the be all to end all of medical care. However Saudi is not behind when it comes to medical treatments. The foundation is there, facilities, Drs, medicines, lower costs in some areas and a growing understanding that there is more to treating a patient than a prescription. I would love to see some areas advance sooner rather than latter. But perhaps with more articles like this one by Afifa Quraishi which covers the various aspects of medical tourism in Saudi.

And no I'm not just pointing out this article because I'm quoted in it. I actually like this article which says a lot as I've spoken about my dislike for articles I find in the English news papers in Saudi. It is well written and thorough and I'll be watching for more articles from this author.

Self Check Out

2009-07-21T17:13:00.003+03:00

There are several things in the US that the kids are not used to since they are growing up in the ME. One of their newly found favorite things is the self check out line where we the customers get to scan items. Oh they thought it was great fun grabbing as many things as they could, placing it in a bag, by a bag, and back in the cart.

Imagine three pair of hands, all different heights trying to scan various items on a temperamental machine. Jihad from over the shoulder and high who kept confusing the scale for the groceries. Mariam from down below and her raspberries (which didn't cost me a small fortune unlike Saudi) who wasn't so easy to catch because it took me a minute to realize she was even there. And Leyna from inside the cart with every item that her siblings kept putting back in there instead of bagging.

The lady watched us from afar as the machine kept giving me error messages and the scale was on high alert confused as to what was being placed where. I wasn't sure who or what to yell at as too many things were happening at once. By the time I would straighten out the machine by pressing the right button and chased Jihad away Mariam would come from down below with her little hands holding tight onto a product scanning it several times. I was frazzled to say the least but the kids were having a grand old time.

Piece of advice never bring more than one product through the self check out line with more than one child when they are easily amused by small things in life.

Staying Put!

2009-07-14T03:16:00.003+03:00

One thing I really need to accomplish while being in the states for such a long time is to obtain a drivers license. I have been driving in Bahrain for the past year without one. Yes I just admitted to breaking the laws of Bahrain, but I did have an international DL but no accompanying valid DL in any country.

We changed our residence twice after leaving Louisiana and I never registered a DL in either state with my moves. My LA drivers license expired six years ago and I didn't realize what a pain in the tush it would be to get a new license. In New Jersey there is a six point system to proving your identity, which I have, a proof of address, which I have and than since I haven't had a valid drivers license in six years it is like starting all over again. Now I did have a DL in New Jersey which expired in 1993 and they have the DL number for it. I also have my expired one from LA but they don't care. A few women sympathize with my situation but not enough to change the rules.

I failed my first written exam, I don't drink so I don't know how many points it takes on a breathalyzer to make it illegal for someone to drive. I don't think people should drink and drive at all. So that part of the test I failed. I'm also not a new driver, I've been driving since I was 17 and I don't know anything about these new crazy laws they have in NJ regarding their 'graduated license program'.

It must be hard on kids today, when I was 16 I went in for my permit and got my DL not long after. I passed the first time around and didn't have to wait for so long. Now with the new insane set of laws you can get a permit at 16 as long as your enrolled in a driving school than you can drive with a license driver for six months and graduate to another level at 17 as long as you pass the road test. You than get a permit for 1 year and you have to drive with a license driver over 21 and only one other passenger and than pass the road test and get a regular license at 18.

I took the second written exam today and passed with room to spare but have to wait until August 3rd to take my road test. Yes I have to prove to someone that I can drive and I swear if I fail I will scream!! I need the drivers license in order to help Mr. Man drive to MO and to be honest I'm not his best passenger. Sure he has driven me a bit over the past eight years I've lived in Saudi but I usually complain.

He tends to have the habit on a highway of putting his foot on the gas than easing up, continuously. While it is so slight I don't think other people notice but I do and it annoys me. And he is also the type of man that has to go around the parking spot fifty times before he parks. In a spot you pointed out the first time around. DRIVES ME CRAZY!!! I still haven't learned to bite my tongue about it so he usually rants on about "I've been in the game for 10 years" don't ask because I can't explain it either. (I hear you Mr. Man.. your saying it now!!)

When we lived in the states and went out I was the driver, always. He didn't mind I think mainly because he drove a lot for work so it might have been nice for him not to drive. But I do think part of it is his unspoken acceptance that I'm a better driver. Sure the Saudi in him will never admit it, but I know Mr. Man I know.

I was kind of hoping that someone might take a look at me and listen to my situation and understand or at least look upon it as an act of American liberation to the poor down beaten oppressed woman who has experienced gender discrimination for the past eight years. Why couldn't I get some ultra feminist determined to free me from my oppression with a NJ drivers license? I don't care how much of a farce all that is I'll go with it for the license. I don't want to have to take my father along on our outings or beg my brother for a ride. I want to be the grown woman of five children that I am and be freely mobile, like I am in Saudi. But no, I got some guy who folded his arms and I swear has never smiled in his life as he uttered "tell me the story".

Considering that I need the license I have to stay here until the road test than Mr. Man will be here and we will leave together. Probably the best plan anyway I really don't want to uproot these kids time after time traveling off to the unknown and showing up on peoples door steps. Jihad is in a baseball camp for two weeks, his nick name is wheels because he can move around those bases. My father is still in the hospital, saw him today he looks better and his room mate wants to sign Jihad up for football (older man was a coach for twenty five years a talker like my father).

I also laid it down to my brother and said enough is enough!! This will be our last visit so he has to get with it even if he doesn't want to. I don't care if he frowns the entire time, gives me and the kids someone to joke about. I don't care if he complains, I don't care if his girlfriend leaves him (yea she was jealous of me, his sister, I say not a healthy relationship but he can't see it). I don't care if I took over his house he is hardly here anyway. I just care about making the best of this mess as much as I can for the sake of my kids. Thank God they are easy to please (they were excited about bunnies in the backyard today and lightening bugs) and will just go with the flow.

You Can't Choose Your Family

2009-07-12T16:53:00.002+03:00

It can't be said I didn't try to extend myself to my brother. It has only been a week since our arrival and I think after the 2nd day I wanted to leave. As a mother myself I couldn't understand the words of my own mother in which she claimed she was done with her son, had given up on him and died so disappointed in him. I couldn't comprehend how a mother could say those words but as I sit here I honestly understand now how she got to that point. I understand that after years of extending herself only to be let down by even the smallest and simplest of things brought her to a point where she had given up on any close relationship with him.

Don't get me wrong I'm sure she loved him as any mother would love their son. But I just don't think she liked who he became, the choices he made, and how he acted so self absorbed and continually turned his back on the only family he has. I watched over the years and even with my constantly trying to patch things up between them, how it all unraveled. How she got tired of extending her self, as I am now, and just gave up.

I'm there now and I'm saddened by it all. I'm saddened that even with his own mother dying with such disappointment he has chosen not to change. Saddened that even when he was down in a place where no one would even consider giving him a shot we (Mr. Man and myself) gave him one but yet he turns us away now. He honestly thinks that he was entitled in some way, that we did wasn't all that much in the big grand scheme of things and that he honestly doesn't understand that we are the only family he will ever have and he is blowing it.

As my father lies int he hospital with pneumonia once again I think of how he could have died if I wasn't here. And as sad as that is to me as he is my parent, I am even more shocked to consider that my brother doesn't get it.

I'm considering my options now, staying till Mr. Man arrives next month or packing it up at the end of the week and finding some place to go. I mentioned this to my brother whose only words were "where would you go". Not the right words "No don't even think of it, I'm sorry I'm an arse let me try to do right as an individual", no nothing like that but I guess I'm just a different person and I thank God I am.

I looked up at him and said "I do have people in this country that love me" and Hannah chimed right in "Yea, my mom is popular". And he turns to her and says "What is she a rock star??" and because I am who I am I started to sing

So what!! I am a rock star I got my rock moves and I don't neeed you!!

So where would I go? I'm thinking some gals would be glad to receive me in Louisiana I'll know more this week as Jihad finishes up his baseball.

Saad Group Troubles

2009-06-15T08:36:00.002+03:00

Since I have complained several times on this blog about various Saad group businesses I thought I would give the down low on what the word is around time. For those that don't know Ma'an Al Sanea heads the Saad group but as of late things have taken a turn for this billionaire. Now while I don't particularly care for some of the business practices of his compound or hospital I have nothing against this man, or his children (I know two), or his family in general.

For those that are totally lost Al Sanea owns Saad hospital, I've complained here more than a few times about this hospital. From 1. having the worst birthing experience ever 2. loosing a child during a dentist visit 3. hating the phone operators 4 the increase of prices to ridiculous amounts 5 the lack of common sense that many seem to display. While I do really like some Drs. such as my OB/GYN I won't go to another, my mothers old Drs in surgical and oncology (ever get cancer I'm going to her Dr.) and we have had good dealings with a few other nurses,Drs and even therapists over the years. No Umar can't stand Bayzura but I think she is doing wonders for that boy even though I think one day he is going to knock her out and make a run for it.

Their compound drove me insane and while it had some of the best facilities and largest homes I hated their management's attitudes, their waste of money, and their over populated staff. I tell you rabbits had nothing on the staff that seemed to reproduce over night but not many seemed to do anything. Many might recall my fight over the trees, where they uprooted them and imported and planted date tress (what a mess they make), the poisoning of my cats, as well as the picture I took of 10 guys digging a small hole for a wooden pole to go in. And let us not forget when a man (or men who knows) broke into my home and one of them did something very perverted on her bed.

So word is that there is a family dispute over some inheritance. Probably that coupled with Saads liquidity problem and your heading for major disaster. Since the freeze of Mr. Ma'ans personal bank accounts and that of his family many innocent people are being effected. Word has it some 500 employees thus far have been fired, many from the main head quarters and several are upper management who needed to go long ago if you ask me. Unnecessary staff from the hospital has been cut back and word is next month many Drs will be given the boot. While I can give a list of some Drs I would love to see go as their attitude, knowledge and patient relations stinks like a sewer I also have a long list of Drs who I wouldn't want to see loose their jobs.

They have closed down several restaurants, fired chefs, even the good Japanese restaurant at Oasis is shut down. I loved that restaurant the staff was so very good, their chef was super friendly, and their food was great. While they were heading for a slow down considering summer time is upon us I still feel bad these men all lost their livelihoods. There are plans on closing down places to eat at the hospital itself and go from several to just one cafeteria for all of their employees, the ones that are left anyway.

And this isn't all small scale, Saad hospital has been working on a new much needed oncology unit which word is won't ever open. I have no idea how much money they have put into the building, the equipment, and everything else that is needed in such an extensive project as that unit but now it may never pay off. And yes I would argue that Saudi has a whole needs a hospital that provides more extensive cancer treatments and has better services than what is available now. Of course this building wasn't going to be just limited to cancer treatments either so that brings in a wider need in this country that will not be realized and what a loss that will be.

Like so many other things in life it is amazing how one so big, rich and full of resources can so quickly be at risk of loosing it all. I'm sure things will eventually be worked at but what will be the loss? I do hope that Saad hospital isn't closed entirely or the Drs who are so wonderful are given the boot in favor of less paid staff. Although I seriously can't blame any of the staff looking for other jobs considering their futures hang in the balance of bad business decisions and a family feud over billions of dollars.

It is going to be interesting to see how this all plays out. As of now on one knows for sure what is going to happen with them as I'm sure Ma'an Al Sanea is unsure as well.

Lady It Is Not A Parking Spot!

2009-06-12T15:24:00.002+03:00

Coming out of Mickey D's after a nice quick lunch with two of the girls. Ok not a nice lunch in terms of nutrition and taste but nice in that it is just me and the girls. Backing out of the parking spot which was right near the Mickey D's drive thru entrance I had to beep my horn at a guy who was blocking me. He moved I started to back out only to be blocked off by some older lady oblivious to the world.

"Mama she isn't even moving she is putting on makeup" Leyna says just as annoyed with her as me.

I look, she is plucking hairs from her face not caring I'm stuck and now cars are lining up no one able to move because she decided to park where it isn't a parking spot.

Waiting... I beep my horn.. she isn't paying attention. I'm annoyed I get out of my car and walk up to her.

"Lady this isn't a parking spot and your blocking me from getting out" I said nicely

"This is a parking spot" she says

"No this isn't a parking spot and your in the way" at this point she should apologize at least

"This is a parking spot I can park here" not the response I was looking for

"Lady you ran over a plastic cone it is NOT a parking spot!!" I said pointing to the cone under her left tire and she looks.

WTH I mean if you have to run over a bright orange cone something should tell you not to park there

"Don't yell" was her only response

"Lady this isn't a parking spot and your blocking EVERYONE!!" I walk off muttering idiot while she yells out the window "Don't yell at me" so I hit her car not hard just like a slap and walked back to my car. She was than yelling "Stupid" And I'm yelling back

"Your stupid it is NOT a parking spot"

She moved after I left after a few other cars beeped their horns and cussed her under the breath. One day.. I tell you one day!!

Small Glitch

2009-06-12T00:30:00.004+03:00

Seems in my excitement updating my other blog that I deleted the background for this one. Ooops!! All is fixed but feel free to drop by here and see if I can't cause a blackout next time :) I'll be working on it the next couple of days and as you read there you'll begin to see why I haven't updated here.

Bad blogger I am..

The Loss Of Mr. Cameron

2009-06-06T10:50:00.003+03:00

Mr. Cameron was Hannah's English teacher, I saw was not in the meaning as she moved on to another grade level. I saw was as he was killed yesterday while riding his bicycle in Juffair. Evidently a driver jumped a curb (not sure why) and struck Mr. Cameron as he was riding his bike, which he rode everywhere even to school. He was young, 31, and it was his first year at IKNS and he was planning, as we all do his life.

He planned on returning next year as he liked the school and Hannah was glad to hear it as she enjoyed his class very much. He was an easy teacher and she took to him, and he to her which was easy to do as she is the shy girl in class. He was planning a summer vacation when school ended on the 25th of this month. A vacation which would also include his honeymoon as he was engaged to a KG teacher at the school, they were going to marry this summer.

His sister, who is a PE teacher at the school as well, now has the daunting task of bringing her brother home to New Zealand, not for a wedding but for a funeral. I imagine the family is beyond words of grief as they learn that in an ordinary day of a young man's world life can be taken from you quickly. My heart goes out to the family.

The school plans on telling the kids tomorrow at school, I wasn't supposed to tell Hannah but I did. I didn't want her to sit at morning assembly and be told the news, I wanted her to be prepared. She has dealt with death in her short life but I don't think it has all set in with her yet. As with most things in the mind of a child things take time to be understood. I'm sure the impact of school tomorrow, in the classroom where he taught, and remember how Mr. Cameron used to teach her it will all come down on her.

He was a very good teacher and the entire event is so sad. Here we plan our days I'm sure as Mr. Cameron did, and in an instant it is all gone from us. What is most important is our time spent with the ones we love and living our moments day to day as we never know when our time is written.

Keep this family in your prayers.

ETA- GDN ran another article on Mr. Cameron give it a read. Hannah was wrong, the wedding was planned for December not this summer. The school had today off out of respect and I'm very glad they made that decision.

Get a Map!

2009-05-31T21:47:00.003+03:00

Once again we are in the process of making plane reservations with our booking agent. I can not bring myself to refer to him as a travel agent anymore. The ridiculous things that this guy does makes me want to find his office and slap him a few times with a wet rotten fish. If it were not for Mr. Man I would have stopped using his booking (in)abilities long ago.

You would think after 8 years and hundreds of bookings by Mr. Man and his office he would have the ability to keep the proper spelling of our names. He just types in whatever he is capable of, which isn't much I've seen his other spelling errors (I should be a professional writer compared to his dribble) but our names should be on a database with proper spellings. Considering during our last trip I let him book and confirm all of our tickets and than pointed out the spelling errors. Oh he was livid but after 8 years I could give a hoot man, some lessons are learned the hard way. He called Mr. Man and complained about me and not telling him about the spelling before he issued the tickets but he didn't get any compassion for this is the same man he left stranded in Morocco with no confirmed flights when he was a business trip with clients.

But no I looked at his last emails and he hasn't learned. My name he includes with no last name at all, yea good luck with me getting into the US with no last name. Jihad is Jehad, Hannah is Hana, Leyna is Lina, Umar is Omar and Mariam is the only one he got right. He had my father's name so messed up when we had him book his flights it wasn't even close.

Another annoying thing is anytime he sends out an email about deals, the last one was cheap flights (under 1000 USD to St. Louis) it never is what he claims. When you book flights suddenly your working on double the cost and you ask "What about the deal" he than says "ohh yea about that". Suddenly it is a certain day, in a certain class, in a certain isle, with certain connections and blah blah blah. And his target client list includes a long list of Westerners. He should include a note "Never as advertised I just send these emails so I can get you all set up for a trip you'll never book with me".

Now Mr. Man is taking full control because not only am I sick of dealing with him (the emails I send to him are always an enjoyment for Mr. Man to read) but he was going to be totally confused from the start. Since we are driving to St. Louis and not flying from our visit in New Jersey we have to leave from a different point where we landed. And that is too much for him to understand with me. So Mr. Man says "Don't worry I'll take care of it." And I'm watching the emails go back and forth.

First email he had us flying into Detroit and than back tracking to Philly with a 2 hour stop in Amsterdam. 2 hours isn't long enough for me to gather up my five kids and get off the plane and out of the nearest bathroom in one piece. But the worst of it would been the 1 1/2 hour stop in Detroit before I moved on to Philly. Oh I can just see that now considering I have to go through customs, get my bags, than recheck them!! And that was at a price of nearly 7000 SR for an adult ticket and 5800 SR for a child.

Next up a flight to London with a 5 1/2 hour stop and than straight on into Philly. With a whopping ticket of 8950 SR for an adult and 1290 SR per child. {{{cough}}} Not to mention a nice 1 hour 20 minute stop on the way back through London which would include me leaving something of importance on the plane as I make a mad dash trying to get back to Bahrain. My luck it would be a kid I left behind. And I've already found out security isn't friendly when you leave something behind in their airport. My goodness I had an interrogation over a toy car Jihad left at a security check imagined if I left a kid!

3rd try is a charm right? Dude has us flying into Orlando and than into Philly with an hour stop in London on the return flight. So I have to totally fly out of my way to Orlando with a close to 3 hour wait to fly back to Philly. Again I have to go through customs, get my luggage and than recheck them. Make sense when I'm alone with five kids?? Someone buy this guy a flippen MAP! Hello, hasn't he heard of Google maps? Maybe I should send him a link

Philly up here
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Orlando down here

My sanity level? HA long depleted people I would be a walking mush brain and at customs when they ask "Whats your name" I wouldn't be able to utter one syllable.

But one thing I'll mention for the 3rd try is that the price is now down to 5943 SR per adult and 4839 SR per child. But I'd pay the highest price not to make two stops and retain some sense of mental capacity where I'm able to function enough to a. not forget a child on board b. not forget a child in the bathroom (or my passports) c. speak in a sentence and appear coherent.

Now do you see why I want to slap him with a wet rotten fish?

What Does A Life Cost?

2009-05-28T09:10:00.002+03:00

200,000 SR or 53,333 USD well at least one Saudi guy hopes so after killing Suryapi Dulbari, a maid from Indonesia. I would hope that her family has enough conviction to not be swayed by money for her life from a man who beat her with sticks. My sense of justice would love to see a Saudi stand up and offer double to the family so they may not be swayed by their life of poverty to even consider letting the murderer walk free after torturing their loved one to death.

I am very happy to read that a husband was held responsible for his lack of action to protect a maid in his home that his wife tortured. It is extremely easy to have a maid leave your house, in fact it is much more easier than having one come to your house. You have her pack her bags and you have three options. Bring her to a family members home that may want to have her there to work and that will 1. pay her 2. take care of her 3. allow her to earn a living with dignity or call a friend to do the same. The third option is to return her to the agency in which you paid to find you a maid and they can find her another place or return her home depending on what she wants. What you don't have to choose is to leave her in your home to be continually beaten by a family member.

I am shocked that the wife's lawyer seems to believe that the wife will only get 2 years in prison for taking a life. I do hope that Saudi officials stand up and say enough is enough she will be our shining example of justice in cases where employers abuse, murder, and maim their household staff and sentence her to death. While Saudi has made this statement recently in other cases, it hasn't with a woman and I do believe it needs to be done. Because, no matter what our hearts want to believe, that women are the soft ones, the protectors, the reality is they can abuse and kill to.

All life has a higher value after all and Saudi, as a country and as individuals, need to stand up and act upon that basic Islamic teaching.

Drivers In Bahrain

2009-05-25T09:36:00.002+03:00

I think this should be fair warning for drivers in Bahrain who share my road space. Quite frankly I'm sick of dealing with all you arrogant, ignorant, and stupid drivers out there. This is not to say everyone is like that but far to many of you are and there will be a morning I take a bat with me and pound someone over the head, or at the very least smash out a window (always wanted to do that looks like fun). I'm sure some of you may be wondering why I am expressing such a violent tendency well here are a few reasons and drivers please read more carefully than you actually flippen drive!

1. When it is the morning rush to take your kids to school before your off to your days of work and you have to exit the highway just like everyone else in the LONG line that you speed past. Do not for one second think your going to squeeze in front of me, bully your way in, or cut me off. Even if you are in a big new shiny black SUV and think you can over take my older smaller and a bit worn Hyundai Trajet. I will stand my ground, or my lane in this case, I will not back down all the while honking my slowly dying horn at you like an insane woman, flip you off, and frustrate you as you get stuck! And yes my kids are yelling "IDIOT" at you as we pass you by. I honestly don't care if it you think your just 'one car' trying to get in. But when it is dozens of cars with idiot drivers that pay no attention to the folk patiently waiting in line to exit it makes a huge difference to people like me.

And yes if the driver behind me wises up you'll have to wait even longer because it is just rude. One more thing, if you arrogant drivers would wait your turn the whole ordeal would be over quicker because drivers like me wouldn't have to fight idiots like you to exit the highway.

2. For the drivers that don't pay attention or honestly think the entire world revolves around them here is a clue. When cars are entering the highway and your in the right lane taking full notice to their blinkers letting you know they need to get in, MOVE. I know it is a difficult concept and all, but seriously move. And by this I don't mean speed up so the ones entering the highway get stuck, because that is just an evil thing to do. Think "what I'm about to do will catch up with me one day" and do the right thing by moving to the left lane when it is completely EMPTY. If you're that blind that you can not see that there is no one in the lane to your left than you shouldn't be driving anyway.

3. To all of those small van drivers advertising their services of transportation for school children or working women YOU SUCK! I haven't seen one van that has a driver that has one lick of common sense. You all, the entire lot of you, and I'll say it Bahraini men, need to be taken into the desert and whipped for your driving. You have to be the most unsafe drivers on the road in Bahrain. You speed, you tail gate, you drive on the side of the road, even if it is dirt, you cut people off, and you think being a bully driver is the way to run your business.

You're like a driving hemorrhoid up every ones arse trying to force them off the road to what? Oh that is right to get in an accident and kill all of your passengers perhaps. Way to go!! You should name your business "HELL ride" and at least be honest. And no I'm not getting out of my lane because you come speeding up my rear because I know it frustrates you.

4. Ladies I hate to be the one to tell you but your not all that beautiful no matter how much make up you put on and drive at the same time. I Know you think you can multi task and all for most women can, but not to the point where your applying eye make up, talking on your cell phone, and driving all at the same time. Really you simply need to get over your insecurities whic make you feel that you require that much makeup and have to do it in the car. It just isn't attractive.

5. For you big rig drivers I don't know what they do in the land you come from but feel free to go back to the country in which your bumper sticker indicates you love so much. I don't know why GCC countries bring men from other countries that are used to riding bicycles through town and give them a big rig and on top of it tell them to take their rigs with a full load through town around circles (round abouts for you Brits). There is such a thing as my lane and your lane, first of all, not your lane and your lane. Stay in your lane, do not violate my lane with your presence. And yes if you haven't been told by anyone else this happened to, if you turn to sharp around the circles your truck and its load will flip. Not only are you an idiot for causing such an accident, your employer will dock you, and you'll cause a major slow down of morning traffic.

6. Drivers I state a simple fact of reality here.. the right lane is not the left lane. So you can't make a left turn from the right lane. I know difficult to grasp for far too many but when your confused just look at your hands that should be on the wheel and ask yourself. Is my right hand connected to my left wrist? If the answer is no than do not attempt to make that turn.

7. Student drivers and those who go like 40 kmph on the highway for the sake of my sanity stop it! Honestly I have a plan and your not going to like it This summer while I'm in the states I'm going to one of those large automotive stores that have cool car gadgets and I'm picking up a specialty horn. One that will be guaranteed to confuse (or scare) the crap out of you guarantee ing you will fail your driving test!

8. Saudi drivers when you pass over the causeway understand that when you enter into Bahrain it is no longer Saudi. I know I get it, the entire world is Saudi in your brain, but seriously it isn't. So leave your idiotic driving skills on the other side of the bridge. And if you have a car that is made for 7 people understand that 15 aren't going to fit in there. Seriously, even if you squeeze some small members of your family in the trunk your simply a statistic waiting to happen. And please don't tell me "whatever Allah wills" because as a Muslim I don't believe your under force to make such a stupid decision.

9. Universal rule, if you are really old and your reflexes slow and you have the additional problem of shrinking in height I don't think you should drive. And it is usually men on this side of the world that can barely see over the steering wheel to the point my children argue if there is anyone actually driving than laugh when they see it is an old guy leaning completely forward on to the steering wheel. Even with a brand new car they are so slow I have to debate if the car is actually moving and for whatever reason they are always in the middle lane. Suggestion: REVOKE license

10. The absolute worse offenders when it comes to speeding has got to be military personal and police. I know your egos have lead you to believe you are of more importance to this country than what you actually are. But at the very least your job should demand you set an example. It is just horrible the way you choose to drive and you should have shame.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.. driving is over rated.

I'm A White American Girl

2009-05-21T12:45:00.006+03:00

This isn't just a FYI statement or an 'in case you didn't know' it is a fact of my life that although doesn't make a difference in my day to day activities, I am no less reminded of on numerous occasions. And while I'm not really into defining what is 'white' I do believe that being 'white' impacts who you are, how you interact with the world, and how the world interacts with you. Notice that I did add in the cultural tag of "American" for my Americaness is far different in cultural influences than say my white British neighbor. However, even though our cultures are a bit different, she feeds her children sausages and crisps and I feed mine french fries and chicken nuggets, our whiteness brings about a certain privilege in the same foreign land we choose to live. And even with that it is my Muslim status that will separate us as well.

It is sort of odd when I look upon my white privilege card (we all have one in case you were wondering) which has been revoked in the US but replaced with another with a higher status in Saudi (and I'll note Bahrain as well). My white privilege is put into question in the US because I am a convert to Islam, but than because I am a convert it is more meaningful in the ME especially since I am white. It is a strange thing to ponder upon especially if you're anything like me in rejecting the notion of 'privileged' to any one particular race/ethnicity/tribe/culture of people. I would love nothing more than to rid my whole life of such notions yet I'm not only constantly faced with them but have found it beneficial to even use them if need be.

I should first point out that I, like many white people in America, never really consider my white status and the privilege which was extended to me because of it. It isn't something I had to give much thought to in my life because it didn't negatively affect me so why think about it? It wasn't that I was unaware that things are/were/will be different for those of color or of 'different' status than the too often accepted white norm. In fact I'd say I was more aware of them because my father was/is a racist, although he isn't 'as bad' as he used to be in that regard (that matters more or less depending what mean I'm using to measure 'bad' ). However as much as I would love to deny, it never had a direct negative impact on my life. Which is why when a black person tells their white friend "you'll never get it" I understand that yes they never will get it. Until they in some way, even by relation, become the 'other', but even then it is not fully understood.

Even considering that a white person may be extension become 'the other' it is only in relation to another person that is in their presence, it is subject to change when that person is no longer there. For example a white person married to a person of color or one that fits into the 'other' category (and that can be big category depending on circumstances) they may slightly understand the differences of how others relate to you when that spouse is present. When that spouse is no longer present and it just that one white individual than you once again become part of the larger privileged group who may be simply ignorant that your a temporary member.

After becoming a Muslim and a covering one at that things started to change drastically. I tended to become in a category all my own that is forever a lonely place to be in. Because even if I don't want to be here I'll be placed here by others and reminded every time that I am different even if it is in the slightest way. In America or while I'm in the company of full card carrying white privileged members it is more often than not with negative overtures, although not always outright. In order to fully understand this let me try to explain it with examples (we all love stories).

In America after I converted and covered I suddenly became obvious which I never was before. Even though I think I "Rock!" the whole room wouldn't stop in their tracts and just watch me enter, watch me walk by, watch me sit, watch my reactions, matter of fact they didn't watch me at all beyond the normal interaction. I was just another person, one of the larger group, that walked into a store for instance. As a covering Muslim walking into the same store I am watched, stared at, conversations stop, some even whisper, the looks oh the looks, I was the 'other' the one that stuck out. And while one could argue this should have been expected as I am obviously different and even such things can be tolerated, perhaps they can, it is the larger negative reactions that can't be tolerated.

There was what I would call "hijab-lash" which was when drivers in their cars did a double take so quick and fast I thought they were going to hurt their neck. There was laughing and pointing from the most ignorant of spectators but the worst drive by was when a bunch of teens in a car decided to make a sign with insults and hold it up to their window and laugh as they drove by. I remember that like it was yesterday and even Mr. Man who I was newly married to didn't quite get the insult of it all. "What was that?" he asked, although being a black Arab in America he didn't get what was going on.

However, we both understood three guys threatening us during a street fair in Rolla MO right after we were married. I don't know if it was their drinks going to their head but they thought my introduction to MO should include what idiots do that live there. I have to say that not all of my experiences in MO were like this and I do hope that they won't be like this when we move there. But the mid-west isn't as open to covering women as some parts of the world and add in that I'm a white woman with a black man and it really can get some KKK tinged blood boiling.

New Jersey isn't devoid of such moronic behavior either, although they aren't as small townish in attitude as MO and devoid of a minority population like some parts of MO. However it isn't high on the migration list of Muslims in America either. During a visit to my friends before we moved to Saudi my mother, three kids I had at the time and I went to a local mall. A small mall and while shopping I noticed a man being trailed along by a scantly dressed woman. When I mean scantly dressed I mean with a mini that would show the moon if she bent over the wrong way, the man with a wife beater type shirt on, looked like any regular blue collar worker in New Jersey, taking an interest in my presence. Evidently my shopping trip offended his senses of what is great about America and when we went to the parking lot screamed foul names at me telling me to 'go back to your own country'. He was angry and his lady barely able to hold him back in her too high heels looked embarrassed and wanted to rush him along.

With such experiences that are on my list of many it is no wonder I do have concern for taking my children back to the US. While I do believe that the wonderful people out number the ignorant, it is the ignorant that make a large impact on a covering woman's life. Especially when the wonderful people are more apt not to voice they are wonderful because they are simply going on about their days of normal interaction and why should they be called upon to do anything different. Sure some in total ignorance of the world may speak to me loudly as if comprehending English is a problem for me, I don't think the volume level makes quite a difference especially if I'm speaking clear, although grammatically incorrect, English. Others may assume I'm from another country originally and make such references in their conversations with me. I don't expect the stares to stop outright as for much of where I choose to travel and live in the US is not largely populated by Muslims especially covering Muslim women.

One would think coming to Saudi I'm suddenly in the 'normal' category, whatever that may be. And in a way that is true, for I'm of the majority of Muslims, my covering isn't an issue, unless someone thinks I should be covering more. The fact that I as a Muslim have common beliefs that factor into how I raise my children and live my life is totally understood although some might not think I'm conservative enough or religious enough. However there is still the fact that I'm white that separates me from the rest of the majority, even with a common diyn (religious belief).

At times the white factor has brought about privileges, I've written on this blog the difference of how Mr. Man is treated as a customer by staff in a store vs how I'm treated. At any time I can give Mr. Man a migraine by suggesting we stop at Sacco due to their blatant attitudes when it comes to serving an obvious black and or Arab man vs that of an obvious white western expatriate woman. What is even more interesting, if this were some social experiment and not Mr. Man's patience we are dealing with, is that these are, for the most part, Filipino men and foreigners themselves.

Now while some may rush to wait on me in a store my white Americaness can also be equated to $$ in the eyes of most shop keepers. At first many may assume I'm an Arab and speak to me in Arabic, often shocked that I'm not Syrian, or other light skinned Arab heritage because I cover my head. When that initial mistake of identity occurs and it is realized I am American than I become the expat money bag who will be over charged for even the smallest of products in any shop that doesn't have a listed price policy. For some this may seem like an ideal situation, a shop keeper may have a difficult time making ends meet and I present the opportunity to pay their months rent for the shop. But I'm being ripped off because I'm white and being American doesn't play a large role in any of this for my British neighbor will get the same white expat price I do. So it becomes a habit to say "How much is it?" and before the merchant considers to give me a price I include "I don't want the expat price because I'll bring my Saudi husband back for the real price".

In America most would see me and know that I'm Muslim, or at the very least different. I would have expected the same in Saudi, Bahrain or any other Muslim dominated country, but this isn't the case. I'm asked, all to often, if I'm Muslim or Islamic whatever the English ability is of the one asking. I don't answer right away as my brain has to react to the question I ask myself "isn't it obvious?" before I can answer. And this doesn't always happen with chance meetings of some curious individual who likes to chat with people in public, no I can be introduced to someone and sit and talk, even about religion, and I'll than be asked if I'm Muslim or not. It really is difficult for some to accept the fact that a white American woman actually converts.

There is the assumption that I converted for Mr. Man or after my marriage. I would be rich if I had a dollar each time I not only had to debunk this notion from a person I'm interacting with but had to also convince them by stating it several times. As I convert I have yet to meet one woman who actually stated to me "I converted for my husband" I have met many that have stated they converted in spite of their husbands, or much latter with no pressure or influence from their husbands but never for their husbands. Yet it is the standard assumption by Arabs and Muslims raised as one that women who convert do so for a man.

Being a Muslim for some 19 years doesn't mean I actually know this diyn either, not even the basics. I'm always being told about the basics, from wudhu, to prayer or how to fast properly. It is that my 19 years of having chose this diyn I'm somehow devoid of any knowledge, none have r considered that I possibly could know more than them on any given subject and sometimes I do. In Malaysia while on vacation I'll never forget as I sat in a tour bus along with other foreigners enjoying a vacation that two Gulf Arab women were talking and looking at me. Finally one mustered up enough courage to come and speak to me in her broken English "you are Muslim?" she asked and I smiled thinking the same thing I mentioned above and nodded as I said "Yes". She smiled a bit brighter and asked if I was American, I responded in the affirmative. She than proceeded to go into her bag and bring out a small Qur'an and hand it to me. I smiled and said thank you and she went off to her sit to talk to her friend. I looked over at my mother and said "I guess she thought I don't have one".

While her sentiments may have been sweet and she thought she was doing some good. In a small why I was a bit insulted for the assumption had to have been I don't have a Qur'an of my own. It is these types of assumptions that have me receiving constant basic information by Arab women even though some of them know I've been Muslim for quite a long time. Perhaps they do feel they are doing the right thing by informing me and don't quite grasp the concept that they actually have to assume I'm ignorant when they make their comments.

Amongst Saudi women there are other assumptions and feelings towards me as a white American woman who married a man from their own land. There is the ever common thought that we met in some haram way. Often times it is difficult for Saudi women to consider that we loose American women aren't all spread eagle waiting to entice their men with our charms as soon as they land. For others we tend to represent the women who have stolen men, from their cultures, that are open, progressive, well to do, educated, and something that they would have wanted. I often have to explain to women that we American women tend to marry these men at a time none of them would have considered them as a spouse. The difference being is that many American women marry with potential in mind while most Saudi women marry with one who is already established in mind.

In the midst of all of this there is also the notion to some, that because I'm a white American convert I'm somehow better than others as a Muslim, although in the same breath it could be assumed I don't know the diyn all that well. That I cover becomes a sign of courage and strength because I choose to do so even in the US and is a constant topic of conversation. When one adds in that 'white' is a sign of beauty in a brown world it becomes a bit more odd. Women spend thousands of riyals on bleaching creams, chemical peels an other concoctions to lighten their skin and one too many men stare at the white woman as she walks down the street, enters a store, or goes about her crazy day trying to manage her children while out in public.

One thing that is consistent for many foreign spouses of Saudi men is that we don't necessarily fit in anywhere. There are the in laws which brings about common in law differences that can be found in any marriage of two distinct cultures but it goes beyond that. We tend to give up our family, lives, and familiarity and trust in our husbands and our marriage and move off to a land completely opposite to our own. It can be a very lonely place because you soon find out that your race (white vs Arab), culture (American vs Saudi), and language (English vs Arabic) puts you at complete odds with the norm.

Being a white woman in the expatriate community gives me a different perspective on my world while I'm in Saudi (or Bahrain). I have a life much different than a Saudi woman on many levels, my children have different privileges, and my list of activities will vary depending on what I choose to participate in with the expatriate programs. It is often in such communities that women like myself, white and or American seek out other women of 'like mind' to mingle with and find some association to help keep us out of the lonely hole we sometimes find ourselves in. However when you're a white American girl that covers you're soon confronted with the realities that what put you at odds with your 'same kind' in the US carries on even when your continents away from US soil.

I was reminded of this recently when I was out with another white American woman who I consider a friend. Our husbands work together and we have known each other for a few years now and I have no problems going out and about with her for lunch, to the movies, or anything else we wish to do. She is a Christian conservative so we can agree on many social and family issues. We also find a common thinking when it comes to seeing a culture and country that is so different from our own in day to day life. So I must admit it was difficult for me to hear the words that reminded me that no matter how comfortable I am with her I am still on some level in the 'other' category for so many.

She was telling me about her friends, they go to bible study group with her and are part of the American woman's association in Bahrain and they get together often. They sounded like a fun bunch and she wondered if I would one day get together with everyone but being anti social I am reluctant due to my hang ups. In one conversation she was telling me how she told her friends all about me and they wanted to meet me they thought it would be fun. The exact phrase she used was "They want to meet a native". My brain digested that for a moment and I simply responded to the obvious fact that I'm not a 'native'. And she did note that she told her friends that "She isn't exactly a native". No not 'exactly'.

As much as I like my friend and I don't think she means any harm what so ever to me and she absolutely adores my children there is still a line that has been drawn. Now this may be a small line, something invisible upon first glance even, but something which will continue to distance me from other white American women even in a foreign land. That I, a foreigner with a US passport subject to the same foreign status as every other white American woman living here, will be viewed by some degree as a 'native' to a land that is not the one whose soil is born and whose cultural identity I have.

In a way I feel I'm privileged to be white and have these experiences. I have become aware of many things in the world that perhaps in any other way I would have been ignorant of. I hope that these experiences have caused me to grow, as a Muslim and as a member of this human race. However this privilege has kept me in a lonely spot in the world with very few to actually identify with and to be so totally comfortable with, that I can forget that in some way, however small, I am the in 'other' category (this is of course speaking outside of my family).

If you got this far you should reward yourself with some chocolate than grab a cup of something you enjoy, ignore all your responsiblities and check out Brooke's Blog Carnival on White Privilege and the Ummah

***ETA: this post is probably putting myself out there so it is subject to being deleted depending on how awful the comments get

There Are Days Not To Read The News

2009-05-20T08:33:00.002+03:00

I won't go into my dislike of the local English papers in Saudi, or even Bahrain because that could be a very long boring post for most. On any given day I'm disappointed when I read the news, not so much as to what is in it as to how it is written. But there are days when I read the news and ask myself if I should have done it because it is filled with stories that make me consider what the world is coming to. I am sure I'm not alone in this and many news paper readers can feel the same way when they read their locals papers so it isn't a Saudi thing.

The first story is a warning to all the guys wanting to go out on a date with a girl. I posted a while back while girls shouldn't go out dating in Saudi I think it only fair that men also reconsider trying to meet someone for dinner.

Honeytrap rape
Arab News

RIYADH: Police arrested two men and a woman who were involved in the rape of a man who was then blackmailed into paying cash to the trio, Al-Riyadh newspaper reported. The man developed a relationship with the woman over the phone, which led to the pair going on a date to a restaurant. The man was, however, met by two huge men instead of the woman and taken to an apartment where he was filmed being raped by the men. The man reported the incident to the police.

If this doesn't make some guys reconsider following that sexually luring voice on the other end of a phone I don't know what would. Here this guy thought he would go out for dinner and possibly get some desert and he is raped by two guys!! WTH??

The Mutawwa may be of some good or maybe not...

MAKKAH – The Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice have foiled an attempt by four youths to kidnap a girl in Makkah.

The gang, of whom the Hai’a has detained two members, attempted to grab a girl in the Al-Uteibi market area after repeated efforts to convince her to get into their car.
The four drove at walking pace alongside the girl and reportedly showered her with lewd remarks, but when they were met with a firm refusal the driver got out of the car and grabbed the girl, lifting her off the ground, and tried to force her into the vehicle.

At that point the gang spotted a Hai’a patrol nearby and released the girl before attempting to flee the area.

The crowds in the marketplace were such, however, that the Hai’a managed to detain two of the gang.

The Makkah head of the Hai’a, Sheikh Abdul Rahman Bin Hamad Al-Du’eilij blamed the guardians of the girl for letting her go alone in the marketplace area. “Girls are open to insult and kidnapping and such as happened to this girl,” Al-Du’eilij said. “These youths committed a grave crime by intruding on a woman’s sanctity.”
He added that a greater police presence in crowded shopping areas would serve to prevent immoral and other forms of crime

Bravo they actually stopped an attempt by four guys to kidnap a girl. They do some good after all and it is a good thing they were around. Although I am kind of wondering why any of the public who made up the 'busy market place' didn't stand up and come to the aid of the girl. My big mouth would have had a crowd in no time. I wouldn't be blaming the girl, nor her parents for actually letting her outdoors but I would blame these guys who had nothing but evil intentions.

In a weird way this totally debunks Katie and the idea that women don't go out alone.

I'm Not Abused

2009-05-18T21:51:00.004+03:00

Just FYI I'm not an abused woman. In fact on some days Mr. Man might claim to be an abused man, I just say he is being a big baby about titty twisters.

I know this may come as a shocker but not all men in Saudi abuse women. In fact there are many who actually love their wives, respect them and would do no harm to them. Even if a judge gives an opinion that he understands why a man would slap his wife in the face over a 900 SR abya I don't know one Saudi man in Mr. Mans family that would do that, none of them abuse their wives. One niece has an issue with her husband and he is holding her captive in his home and she chooses to remain living there. One out of how many Mr. Man I lost count? But he is only a relative by marriage and she can leave but chooses not to.

This is in no way to say that there aren't men in Saudi who abuse, there are. However Saudi, nor any other country, holds a monopoly on physical abuse. There is plenty of reports in the news papers within Saudi that state that 'numbers of abuse are increasing' but one needs to ask increasing as compared to what? I do believe that the society is changing in that women are speaking out much more and seeking help. This is not to say that the numbers are 'increasing' it is just that those who suffer are finally coming out and putting a voice that it is happening. And as I noted before unfortunately Saudi laws allow for a man to legally abuse which need to be changed.

However, I just thought it important to put it out there, that I'm not an abused woman.

Oh and Mr. Man should toughen up!! Giving birth hurts more!

Vacation Planning

2009-05-18T09:53:00.005+03:00

The time is coming for me to get out of the dusty heat of Saudi and move on to the heat of the US for a while. I won't miss the dust which is kicking up in ridiculous amounts the past few days, the guy that cleans my car hasn't even really bothered it has been so bad. I'm starting to think the sky line should look brown, so I know I need a break.

It has been a while since I've closed up house in order to abandon Mr. Man for some fun in another country. I was hoping to have a house to go to and just sit and relax but that isn't happening, at least not until August some time. I was also hoping that IKNS would have some mercy on the children, parents, and the teachers and not open the school until after Eid. But no the school board is going to torture us and open the doors on September 1st. That leaves 9 little weeks of summer vacation, the kids aren't happy and neither am I.

The last day of school is June 25th and if I had my way I would be on a plane that night, but Mr. Man informed me "you have to stay in Saudi for a week to renew the iqama". Not what I wanted to hear as I had hopes that I would be watching 4th of July fire works state side while I had burgers on the grill. That will have to wait until next year as my first stop in vacation is being stuck in an apartment in Saudi secretly planning how to get back at Mr. Man. Any woman with five kids and five adults in a three bedroom apartment can understand my lack of enthusiasm.

After I'm tortured for a week in Saudi I can finally torture myself a bit more and take five kids alone on a flight to the US. I have been told by several mothers, with a smile on their face and a whisper from their lips, to drug the kids. Hannah and Jihad aren't that bad, they are old enough to chill out on the plane. Hannah hates the smell and refuses to eat airline food so the only complaint I get from is "eewww!" every time the food carts come around. Jihad is easy, he watches movies the entire times. He even watches things he shouldn't but since he sits away from me I act as if I don't see him.

Leyna is getting to the point where she is much better it is just Mariam who bothers both her and me. When Mariam bothers Leyna she in turns screams and cries and looks to me to help save her from the four year old tormentor. I turn to her and shrug in helplessness because secretly I would rather Mariam annoy her than annoy me. Mariam is also the girl that needs to go to the bathroom as soon as I found something on the food tray I can tolerate to eat. Which means I have to find a place for my tray, usually with Hannah who tosses it off as soon as I can put it down and ends up being under threat of severe bodily harm if she removes it one more time. I than have to fight down the isle between people and the slow moving food cart with some of the most uncompassioned airline attendants who seem to think I control my 4 year old's bladder.

Since the last time I travelled I added another bundle of problems on flight, my little man Umar who is as active as a busy bee and will probably have me agreeing to medicating the entire lot of 'em. If your wondering yes I'm insane to do this alone but the only other choice is to wait for Mr. Man to decide to leave his work (hard decision) and suffer in this heat. I think I will take up the voice of other mothers and drug my children, at least the youngest two. So if your a reader who has drugged your children on flight and found something guaranteed to work please drop me a note as to what I should be getting. A little something for myself would be nice, but not necessary.

Another added concern is flying with Umar and his small little ear canals. Due to DS his tubes are much more smaller than my other children who have no problems with air pressure. My concern is that the pressure may affect him and put him in pain. While I'm at the drug store seeking the right meds to knock my children out on the flight I need something to perhaps help his ears before they start giving him pain.

With a decent stop in London I can let the children cut loose in between flights thus giving me a break of trying to control my lot. It would be better if airports wised up and gave us flying parents a good paying service similar to shop and drops in malls around the world. I would love a place where I could drop my kids while I relaxed for a moment between flights. I would pay a small random for this service as I'm sure most parents would. It would be part of the vacation budget after tickets

1. budget tickets
2. budget sanity break at London airport x 5

I would budget cheaper food just for that luxury. However, no one seems to fly with kids at airport management so I'm left with allowing my children to find other families at the airport to go crazy with in a sitting area where we all seem to migrate together. Parents bringing out snacks, coloring books and small toys to share in the experience with new found travel friends during their stops as parents only smiling at each other recognizing the gloom we all feel and not having enough energy to express it in words. So if you see a Hijabi American in London in early July with 5 children looking slightly insane and not giving a hoot that her scarf is on crooked that will be me.

So where am I going? First stop is to my brother's house who I have been told should be working enough that I really don't have to put up with his doom and gloom attitude. I swear that man has to be the most depressing and negative person I've seen. My father isn't exactly a ray of sunshine either but I'll take lonely old man to negative middle aged dude any day. I will have 7 children in the house if I beat my ex sister in law down enough to let me have her kids more times than not. She doesn't seem to get that I've travelled from a whole other country so my kids can see their cousins. The whole family bond thing that her children don't get much at all because she is too much of a control freak. She sees no reason why her two should be at 'their father's house' more than their 'scheduled' time just because we are there.

She doesn't seem to like my parenting skills either. The comment was "She lets her kids have too much sugar. I heard them all when I called on the phone" If you weren't aware 6 children between the ages of 11 and 3 should have been quite little mice while on vacation in a small house. And yes I do allow the children to have desert after their dinner, bad me! I'm planning my mode of attack before I get there and her controlling habits will have a shock to say the least.
I plan on hanging out there until Mr. Man blesses us with his presence. At which point I plan to finally have a drivers license and a vehicle where we will be insane enough to travel half way across the US to MO and close on our house. We at one point would like to have some furniture, at least a few mattresses and cooking necessities until we have to close up shop until our winter break. I need to be back in Saudi/Bahrain by the end of August to have the children back on schedule for school on Sept 1st.

I am looking forward to my children starting Ramadan in the US. I hope to find a good community in the St Louis area that gives all that I remember of the small communities I was once part of. I want my children to see the difference between fasting when everyone else around you isn't and hopefuly experience that inner spiritual connection vs having the entire country shut down to night mode.

Living in Saudi/Bahrain and having some things that are typical to Saudi life ie an elderly parent living in our home and domestic staff there are some things I need to consider before taking off. The most important is what to do with Jeddah which isn't as complicated as it could be. Living in Saudi there are quite few other family members that will be more than happy to host her the weeks that we will be gone. Her first stop will be with Mr. Mans youngest sister where she will stay until someone else in the family extends an invite or more to the truth insist she come stay with them. She will be a modern bedu elder who will go from house to house living out of her suit cases while people wait on her. Not a bad life really unless you consider long term where such a lifestyle is counter productive to healthy living. She'll eat way too much sugar, even more in fats as well as sleep most of the day and stay up all night. Her movement will be close to nothing unless it is the occasional outing to the souk where she can find the cheapest of things in order to bring back to our house and proudly proclaim "ten riyals" and I'll be left asking "what am I going to do with that??".

Our domestic staff is a whole other issue. At first I thought perhaps I'd be a typical Saudi traveller and take one with me. We thought about it than I figured it would be more trouble than I wanted on a vacation and decided against it. What typically happens with domestic staff in the Gulf Arab region is that they are placed with other family members who aren't travelling at the same time. You will rarely if ever find a maid or driver left behind alone in the house. There is a fear that someone will come and kidnap and rape or in some way harm a maid. Not really ridiculous to think considering that in most neighborhoods there are unknown men walking about and might take notice to a maid in a house alone.

Drivers are also given to another family member to work for while their employers are gone. They might have a key to the yard, never the house, and the fear tends to be that the driver will rip them off. So no matter where you turn something drastically bad is going to happen. Keep in mind to understand the true irony here, when you speak to Saudis generally as a foreigner about their country many will cite how safe it is compared to other societies especially the US. However when you discuss various day to day issues like women wearing seat belts or leaving your maid in the house alone or women driving suddenly this society becomes ravaged with perverts and molesters.

The problem with sending my hired domestic help to Mr. Mans family is that they will be worked so much they'll quit. Contrary to what Naomi, my present maid, thinks the work load in my house is laughably light compared to most households. And as I'm finding out even compared to many Westerners here in Bahrain (they don't even feed their maids!!!). So to send a maid say to my SIL she will be worked to the point she'll refuse and want to leave. Abla, our nanny will be treated like a maid asked to pick up after people, clean shoes (that happened when someone visited us) and do maid chores that she'll walk out too. So there is no option to send either of them to Jeddah with Mr. Man's mother because we know things will be too different for them.

Both women will be staying with each of their family members in the Kingdom while we are gone. Naomi has a brother that lives here and works for Mr. Man and Abla has a sister that is working in Riyadh. So the expense is lower, which is good when we are buying a house and I'm on a budget. Each will have time with family, a mini vacation themselves, and not be worked to the bone by extended family. Yes, I think they are counting the days until we are gone.

One thing that has Mr. Man worried is the swine flue which my father shrugs off as "not that bad". This from a man that watches the news like it is his religion "A man died today from it" a big blow off "He died from other complications not from it" I call this splitting hairs "Well Umar doesn't have an immune system like ours". That silenced him and that is my biggest concern as well as Mr. Mans I'm sure. Refundable tickets will be our best option but I'm hoping to finally get a vacation away it has been too long. I also can't wait to see the house!

Hey Katie Why Not Talk To Saudi Women Rather Than For Them?

2009-05-14T09:08:00.004+03:00

I swear American reporters on Saudi Arabia embarrass me, Katie Couric here is one of them

To add insult to injury she states on her YouTube site "In this video I describe what life is like for women in Saudi Arabia and I interview a nephew of a muttawa, member of the religious or clerical police. I also give you a look at Chop Chop Square ..."

She described the life of Saudi women?? Really? Yet she says they can't go out unescorted, yes I know Saudi ladies you don't know whether to get angry at that comment after your done laughing or not. I feel the same way. I think the only time you don't see women at the shops or in the malls at night are during school exam times. Out unescorted? I can't even begin to say how wrong this notion is. I think many assume since the law states that a woman can't travel unescorted, or at least without the permission of her guardian that it is the same when they are shopping downtown or something. But as soon as a reporter says it they loose all credibility with me. Not that I watch Katie much at all anyway.

I'm tired of foreign reporters talking for Saudi women, trying to depict their lives as bleak and passive creatures, and whatever else sells news. I would love for an American reporter to talk to Saudi women instead, now that would be new!

Why Domestic Violence Will Continue In Saudi

2009-05-10T10:46:00.002+03:00

There is a growing 'awareness' of domestic violence in the Kingdom and many women have taken up the cause against this issue. There are several shelters throughout the Kingdom which receive victims of domestic violence, after getting approval from the police to receive the victim. And there have been more awareness campaigns which discuss what domestic violence is, how to cope and what resources if any women have in the Kingdom. Amongst all of this there have been several workshops and seminars on domestic violence which seek to discuss this issue broadly and openly.

A recent seminar went to show why domestic violence in the Kingdom will continue when a Judge made the following comments, among several, about domestic violence

“If a person gives SR1,200 to his wife and she spends SR900 to purchase an abaya (the black gown) from a brand shop and if her husband slaps her on the face as a reaction to her action, she deserves that punishment,” said Judge Hamad Al-Razine.

This was, what I would assume, an example to his statements

Al-Razine was explaining the causes of an increase in domestic violence in the country, adding that women were also equally responsible. “But nobody puts even a fraction of blame on them,” he said before making the controversial comment.

It is really easy to be angry at this judge, I know I can give a rant an a half on these two comments alone. However he is simply representing an attitude commonly received by abused women in the court system in Saudi. He is also representing the accepted law in Saudi which gives way for men to be abusive to their wives and their children. As long as they are not killed, harmed in a way that requires a hospital stay longer than accepted by the law (I believe it is 7 days I could be off a day or two) a man can legally beat his wife and children.

Yes he was heckled by the women in the audience and I'm sure Princess Adila wasn't comfortable during his speech but their anger is misplaced. Their anger should be with the laws in this country which allows a man to legally abuse. Their anger should be towards the accepted attitude in government in which appoints judges to rule on such matters that retain views that it is the fault of the abused rather than the abuser.

Until the basic foundation, in this case the law, makes it unacceptable to abuse your spouse and children and judges are weeded out who don't conform to such a view than abuse will continue to go on in Saudi with a legal stamp of approval. Not unlike several other issues in this kingdom, the law doesn't always represent the views and attitudes of the Saudis at large. So this is not to say that the average Saudi is an abuser because I don't believe they are. However the law needs to be addressed and fast in order to catch up with the voice of change that is trying to take place in society. For with all the shelters, all the programs, all the conferences what help can possibly be given to abused women and children unless the law is changed?

None!

An Divorcee At 8 Years Old

2009-05-01T11:37:00.002+03:00

As I sit and look upon my 8 year old daughter Leyna it is hard for me to imagine that another girl at her age is now a divorcee. As hard as it is to imagine it is odd that I would find some sense of happiness for this girl who is now divorced. I read the title of the article and simply uttered alhamdulillah because that is how strange my world has become. My outrage over the entire concept of a 50 year old man taking an interest in an 8 year old girl for marriage in order for her father to settle a debt has dissipated to relief that she is divorced.

As much as my heart smiles for this little girl, who most likely hasn't digested half of what is going on in her short little life I can't help but think of the ones that won't be divorcees at 8. That sadly in this world, not just Saudi Arabia, small children will be bargained off by parents who neglect their trusts which have been given to them. That others, in whose heart is a foul disease, will seek to take advantage of those weaker than them, even if they are small children. And that countries will unfortunately neglect their duty to protect those who are the most needing of their protection.

In such a small way there is victory for this one 8 year old girl. However it the failure to protect any girls in the future in Saudi Arabia from being victimized by others who hold too much power over them is a bigger loss than most can imagine.

I Do Accomplish Things

2009-04-30T14:18:00.011+03:00

My days aren't all about eating bon bons in afternoon I can actually accomplish a thing or two. Lately, although I've been guilt of blog neglect here and there, I have been doing some scrapping. I entered the So You Think You Can Scrap contest hosted by After 5 Designs and The Shabby Pickle. I'm not good enough to win anything, if you check out some of the layout designs that have been chosen you can see the competition is extreme.

Even though I don't stand a chance of winning, it has been fun and I've completed some layouts that I am really happy with. A few I have to share here simply because I want someone to oooh over them and make me feel like I don't really suck at this. Which honestly usually leaves me feeling after contests which is why Mr. Man hates when I participate in them.

I absolutely love this one and Hannah is thrilled with it. This is totally out of my style and something I wouldn't have normally done if it weren't for the contest.

The challenge for the week when I completed this one was to choose a favorite photo that we took. I went through hundreds of pictures and nothing really stood out to me. It is like asking me what kids is my favorite when you get down to it. But than I realized that this photo was the last one I ever took of my mother. So odd that something so simple and mundane at the moment would impact me so much latter on. Close to three years latter and this picture, this moment in time, impacted me in a way I doubt I would ever think of when I took it.

This challenge was about 'flash back' years that have long past and it sent me digging in old pictures. That is me and my brother when we were small, I had to be about 5-6 at the time and I'm sure it was on a Sunday because those are church clothes. We match, it is cute right? My mother made everything she could. I think the only thing she didn't make were shoes, but she made slippers, knitted ones that sent us flying around the kitchen. I had to laugh looking at these pictures. Sadly I'm not as crafty as my mother, but I try.

An all about me challenge of course, not contest is complete without one. I don't take pictures of myself, in fact I hate to be photographed. It is the whole self conscious body image thing that way too many women have. It isn't that I think I'm ugly, I just don't think the camera captures the real me. There is some jinni in the camera I think, that plays tricks and what appears is the boy of a woman I'm not. I feel thinner, younger, and more beautiful than what the foul jinni produces in the camera! What is funny about the "ME" challenge is that this was supposed to be an anonymous contest. That was quickly blown out of the door when people were posting full pictures of themselves on the first week.

This was for the last week and quite honestly I gave up caring about the contest. I couldn't figure out what the judges were looking for. Was it how we rolled with the challenge? Was it about design? Was it about how we used a kit? Was it more graphic orientated (graphic extractions are all the rage now in the digi scrapping world. I can't really figure out why)? Or did the look for realistic shadowing (which is a whole pet peeve of mine) and more of a traditional feel? To many unknowns so I gave up because the pictures being picked as the top 10 each week had no cohesiveness to it, not that the picks weren't wonderful it just left me questioning what I was scrapping way to much.

The challenge for the week I entered this one was what you could do to a picture after you took it. But than one of the contest hosts said that what you did to the picture really didn't matter it wasn't what they were looking for. Add in that some ladies use stock photos which I'm so against personally and forget it. I'm not even sure if I'm going to enter this weeks, it is due tomorrow.

This one I just love. Not part of the official judging rounds of the contest and it is so simple it wouldn't stand a chance to be picked. But I just love it. The simplicity of the design along with the simplicity of the picture works well. I just smile when I look at it.

All of those pictures are click-able and it will take you to a larger version with credits for the products I used. Also if your interested take a look around the contest galleries on the different websites there is some amazing layouts in there.

I'm not all digital I do have projects flooding my table and as other crafty gals can relate to I keep adding to it. Since Ikea opened in Khobar it has been worse because I have that many more craft ideas. I just completed this for Hannah today.

This was a bare DIY wooden mirror frame that I picked up for like 25SR. I painted the edges with paint from Jarirs and than added the scrapbook paper. I belong to I Am a Scrapaholic, which is a monthly paper scrapbook kit where I get a load of goodies that I generally stock pile. I used the papers for the base, as well as the chipboard pieces for the bird from the club. The ribbon, felt (wing on the bird) and flowers were from my stock I purchased from Ebay a few years ago. The letters are wooden which I found in a local craft store in Saudi that I painted and used glitter (another Ebay find) on. And a small rub on that were the perfect color which I found in the Bahrain scrapbook store was the final touch.

This is really easy to do and I completed it in a few hours complete with interruptions from kids and Mr. Man.

Get OUT!

2009-04-29T08:39:00.003+03:00

Having multiple children in a car who are all around the same age can get absolutely nerve wracking. I'll be the first to admit I can completely understand the feelings of this mom however where we will strongly depart in our treatment towards our children is that I would never actually leave them. Putting them out of the car is one thing leaving them out of your sight on the side of the road is a whole other deal that I don't agree with. And while I totally get that bickering siblings is enough to make any dictator of an oppressive country crumble I do hold that a mother is the parent the one who is supposed to be better equipped to making responsible decisions.

I admit it I have physically pulled one screaming child and left her on the curb at my front door. It was Leyna and as sweet as that girl can look on this blog she has a deafening scream that can bring anyone to their knees. She doesn't show it to everyone in fact she saves the very best for her family who would rather go without such a sight. And there was one day in the car that I had reached my limit. I know the driver thought I lost it but I was about to beat anyone down that uttered anything of higher enlightenment. I took her and physically brought her out of the car, sat her on the curb and ran back to the car as quickly as my big butt could move and left her there screaming. She woke the dead but she wasn't hurt, she was safe at her home, and under no threat to the dangers of strangers in the world.

I would never have left her on a street and took off, although I may say it to do it is a whole other deal. Jihad has tested my willingness to kick him out of the car after being under threat for a number of years. Usually it was his twin defender Hannah who would scream if I had the car stopped and opened the door telling him to "GET OUT!!". I would of course never have given him the boot on the street corner but he didn't know that and Hannah sure enough believed it. He would surrender and act like a decent child at least until we made it home where his tail would start to show.

Now that Jihad is older and more of a smart mouth than ever he has decided to test how far I'm willing to take it. One day not that long ago the boy was picking on his sisters non stop and it was a long 30 minute drive home from school and I was sitting in the middle of traffic on a road under construction. I was annoyed and tired "GET OUT" he was told if he couldn't behave. "Alright I WILL" he answered back "Go on then" was my reply. "I will" he sad boldly "I know my way home" his threat was set. "Then get going see ya when you get there!" No way would he get out and walk home. Than it happened he opened the door. "Boy you better shut that!!" He won and it is a threat that doesn't work with him anymore.

A threat something all parents do.."if you don't... I will..." and the more extreme of threats are empty ones. We know it when the words pass our lips and we might even laugh at ourselves thinking "I'm such an idiot". Parents are human, we are faulty, and we say and do things we can regret at some point. And in frustration we can say some strange things but being parents we can claim a higher status so we don't have to explain it all. In the moment it all makes sense and we are allowed those times which we turn to ourselves and ask "Did I just say that?".

I'm a parent that believes that at times children need to learn the hard way. I will walk away from tantrums in a market and even make it to the next isle before a little one is sullenly reunited with me minus whatever it is he/she wanted in the first place. I don't give into the stomping of feet, screams, cries, or whines. I will walk away like I don't know you and have been known to leave my children in a store at the mall. I give full warning "I'm leaving NOW!" and walk out. I've even gone so far as to hide from a safe distance and have enjoyed the look of a child thinking "I shouldn't have done that"when they figure out I'm gone.

Not once however has my child gone out of my sight willingly. Sure they like to play games I did it to my own mother who had to lock down a department store because I was hiding in a clothes rack. I hid well and totally aged her a few years that afternoon of shopping. I am of course paying for it now with Mariam who makes my heart stop beating on a consistent basis while we are in a store. She hides in between clothes and says nothing. I can scream and yell and she'll sit quietly. But to willingly loose sight of her inside of my home doesn't happen often let alone outside where she is subject to the potential horrors of other peoples evil beings.

This woman crossed the line when she drove around the block a block that was evidently busy because it was enough time for someone to walk off with her ten year old. I have two ten year olds neither of whom I would leave and go around a block. Her child was in no way mature enough to be left alone as is evident with her walking off with a stranger to get ice cream. That is a predators dream and something that should make every parent (or decent human beings) stop and think of the possible perversion that could have victimised that young girl.

But perhaps it is me, I am same woman who will watch other peoples children when they are without a parent and should be. I will follow along a young crying child even at a distance to ensure he/she is safe. I see that not all do this for some other strangers just walk on by but I would hope that more often than not that people would linger and watch keeping a close eye, although unseen to the child at the moment, to ensure his/her safety. It is sad that this mother, although educated, can make such a stupid decision and not extend to her child the same watchful eye many of us would for a child that isn't our own.

Yes my threats will continue and I'll follow through on some. But I will not go as far as this woman and allow my eyes to willingly leave my child and potentially subject them to the horrors that are in our world. My hope is that this mother will be punished is some way and that her daughter will be safe under the watchful eyes of strangers if her mother is unwilling to do it herself.

I'm A Shameless Woman

2009-04-27T11:56:00.003+03:00

Because I have no shame I'll admit that I'm a shameless woman and I'll do so proudly just to annoy others who think I couldn't stoop any further. I took my shameless self early this morning after dropping off the kiddos at school to work out. Yuppers I went to curves and I sweat with no shame for my stinky-ness and panted like an 80 year old because I haven't gone for two weeks.

Upon my return from Curves I did no housework really. I played with my boy, took a shower, and got on the computer. At one point I manage to take the recyclables down the street, buy milk, and return the rental videos (mind you all this is done in Bahrain) and I'm thawing meat for dinner.

I'm shameless really I am.

I love this quote "Women should be housewives, there is no need for them to engage in sports. Such practices don't serve society."

So women should just stay at home, get fat and unhealthy and deplete the medical resources available in Saudi society with a long list of chronic illnesses associated with unhealthy living. That makes perfect sense, to the non thinking of course.

I should mention that Mr. Man has no shame either. He not only paid for my yearly membership fees to Curves, but also paid for Hannah to be a member for three months. He also, having no shame, asks about my workouts and even wants his mother to get moving some more because she doesn't live healthy. We are raising shameless kids too and I hope that their shameless little lives encourages others to be shameless like them.

So ladies go on be shameless!

Pudgy Baby Feet

2009-04-22T17:51:00.005+03:00

This is a post not many men will understand and not all women who aren't mothers will really get It is something I promised Umm Muhammad though and I know there are other mothers out there who will understand it. We have the feet group, the hands group, and the tush group, I'm normally part of the the latter but with Umar it's all of the above.

I think you might be able to see some of the features of DS here. One that his toes are shorter and a bit fatter and two is his sandal foot. Although not prominent really just a slight separation between his big toe and the rest. Many of the images of physical traits for DS when you look for them on the web are so over done that it is not realistic.

Since I'm posting pics thought I would share how quick this boy can be.

Umar loves to be outside he especially loves to check out the grass. He is very tactile so the different feel of things between his fingers and toes is quite amusing to him. But there is nothing real innocent about this because he already spotted what he wanted.

This is phase one of the plan, to reach out closer and get on the grass some more. The next phase involves the move of sitting up and than moving his butt right on top of mama. It is a classic Umar move he will sit right on top of you if you happen to be in his way and the tush is wide. So I had to move and reposition myself to get the next shot as he sat up again.

That quick!

Me uttering "Oh Crap!!" realizing I'm not quick enough.

My Boys Are Back

2009-04-21T10:53:00.007+03:00

They both came in last night and both were walking around half the night unable to sleep. I kicked Jihad out of the room twice and sent him to go sleep with Mariam. Mr. Man was up at 3am and than Leyna was up looking for him. Add in I have a stomach flu and I'm about to send everyone away so I can be alone. Yea it is nice having everyone home.

The home yes I know that is what you all want to see. There are a few of you who will be plotting to see if I have enough room when you come and visit (and I expect some of you to visit or I'll... do something!!)

This is the lot where we will squeeze into. Not exactly the few acres of land I was hoping for but considering there are parks surrounding us we won't have any shortage of places to venture off to. See there is my neighbor watering on the left, she has no idea what is coming. At first neighbors might think, oh nice they have kids. And then the find out it is five and they are noisy and their mother is loud than it becomes Oh my GOD they have KIDS!! At least it is only a few months out of the year.

This is the model home of our house minus the garage being an office of course. I don't have any more pics to show because I'm having difficulties getting Mr. Mans memory card to read right. I do like the kitchen it is a nice size with a center island and he negotiated two large bay windows one with a walk out, that let in a lot of light. The master bedroom has a walk in closet, double sinks, and a separate bath and shower. There is one bathroom up, simple American style which the kiddos will have to learn to share the only one that will bother is Hannah who has her own bathroom right now. The bedrooms are nice sizes and as I said the facilities sound really great.

It is a bit out of our original budget range which is ok it is still doable I just have to be restricted on my spending. Not that I really spend on myself so much but we won't be eating out like we used to in fact I've decided to feed everyone less. Good for the gut and the wallet!

In other news my little man is moving along at a pace some don't expect.

Yes my little man has taking a liking to pulling himself up different places. The couch is a good spot to find some goodies and he gets the bonus addition of being encouraged. I think this is common in many households with children who have delays that when progress is made we will ignore or encourage some things we normally wouldn't. For instance if you have a child with a severe speech delay a clear cuss word is exciting! With Umar since he has physical delays he is encouraged to climb up the couch after the remote control or cell phones. I have decided that if I find my domestic help talking on their phones too much I'll use their cell phones to get Umar pulling himself up.

His physical development seems to be progressing quite well. Bayzura (Physical therapist in Saudi) is very pleased with his progress. He is even giving her a work out, she struggles to get him into some positions and I told her within a few months I know she is going to come to me and say she can't handle him and I'll need to move on to a man. But this is a good thing in a sad sort of way. His therapist here in Bahrain doesn't think she should really worry about him walking before he is two, but honestly I think he may just surprise her all together and run past her sooner than she expects.

We will be working on sign language more now not that Umar seems to be co-operating with it. He just grunts and screams when he wants something. On Friday doing our grocery shopping I was feeding him (yea I'm one of those parents that feed kids in a food store) and signing eat. I would sign he would scream, Leyna would sign and he would scream, it was sort of fun in a torture your kid sort of way. Leyna got annoyed "Oh he is driving me crazy" and at some point decided that the ten kids she wanted before was just too much, I agree.

Personally I would have said four was best at least it was my limit. But when I look down and see my little man giving me such a face even with drool falling from his mouth I think five is just perfect and I wouldn't have it any other way!!

Tourism In Saudi?

2009-04-18T20:28:00.002+03:00

Can I ask what in the world would a tourist do in Saudi? This is totally besides Mekkah and Madinah, we can understand that millions of Muslims would come to these areas. But I can't help but choke on the word 'tourism' in relation to Saudi. What in the world will they see?

The wonderful zoos? oh sorry there aren't any
Water parks? uhhh nope wrong country none in Saudi
The wonderful oceans and the included activities? uhhhh only if you include garbage and more garbage and limited activities especially for women. But you can scuba dive in Jeddah.
The big grand amusement parks? well the ones they have are emergency room visits waiting to happen.
The green luscious lands? oh sorry wrong country
Movies? Nope sorry
Museums? not exactly
Wildlife? only thing that comes close to wildlife are kids

ohhhh Malls yes plenty of those closed until 4pm but life as a night walker is good in a mall a/c, lights, too many people on the weekends. Yea I would fly to another country for a good mall (ok that is a lie)

And than what? Dunno but it will be employing 900,000 people. Honestly I think that is a typo on Arab News' part.

They Accepted The Offer

2009-04-17T21:11:00.002+03:00

Come a closing date in August we will be the new owners of a 4 bedroom home in MO. It is a new build and I'll have to pick out cabinets and some other things at a latter date. I haven't seen it, only floor plans but Mr. Man and Jihad are very excited about it. Jihad assured me that it has a big kitchen like a want and the development will have a community pool, playground and tennis courts and we will be within distance to four parks. Alhamdulillah all looks well although over budget so I'll be severely restricted budget wise. But it matters not we will own a home, a new home, in a great school district that has a school for children with special needs if Umar needs it.

On A whole other note I received a message from Mr. Man today "Jihad is knocked out he is talking in his sleep I took him to the batting cages yesterday he batted 595 times"

For two hours straight he swung at balls pitched to him at a batting cage. Two hours, so if soccer star falls through I'm thinking baseball might be an option.

It Was Fun

2009-04-11T20:09:00.002+03:00

After writing my post about "I wonder..." I tried something out today and let me tell you it felt good. I was in Saad hospital again, yes the dreaded Saad hospital. Umar had his day of torture with Bayzura and he also had an appointment to catch up on his shots. So I take him to see the Dr and we straighten out what shots I want for him and what ones I don't. Of course I am told to wait until they straighten everything out. A nurse comes out "take this paper to the cashier and see if your insurance covers the shots" Yes most insurances do not cover children immunizations here.

I go to the cashier/receptionist and she hands the paper back to me "You have to go downstairs to see if the insurance covers it"

"The insurance does cover it and I'm not going downstairs" I respond

"You must go downstairs..." I cut her off

"No I will not go downstairs. I am here on the 2nd floor for the Dr and shots you should have someone up here. " I am so sick of running from one place to another at this hospital so today I decided to find out what would happened if I simply refused.

She was confused so she went to another woman who came to me and said "You need to go downstairs to see if the insurance covers this" and tries to hand me the paper

"No I'm not going downstairs I'm staying right here. You can call down and see if it is covered" I have Umar on my hip and Leyna climbing up the receptionist station I'm not angry just matter of fact.

"But we don't have a stamp here." she says

"Not my problem. I'm still not going downstairs. You should have all of these things up here I'm not running around this hospital."

She leaves and comes back with patient relations who goes on to explain to me again "you need to go downstairs..." I cut her off

"I understand English so I have no problems with what she is telling me. What I'm saying is that I'm not going. I'm here on the 2nd floor for a service and it is up to the hospital to be prepared. I'm not going downstairs, go find one of the dozens of nurses who just wonder around this hospital and send them. You're over staffed and yet you want me to run all over the hospital I'm not. I'll be right here when you figure it out." man she was confused they started speaking in Arabic and one had an attitude

"Look I understand neither of you make the rules but I'm sick of the stupid set up. Every time I come here I'm running to one floor to cash out because where I have my appointment doesn't have a span machine. Or I have to go run to six different places for change, an appointment or whatever it is. I am not going to do it. I'll sit right here and you can find one of the nurses or do it yourself if you want I'm not doing it."

She understood so did the one with the attitude they even laughed. But I sat down and waited for them to run around and the one girl did. She was nice, it was covered by insurance and when she took care of it I thanked her with a smile. I had made use of my time with making a bathroom run and just had to wait for the one of a few dozen nurses to prepare for two shots for the little man.

So I say next time you think "I wonder..." just go give it a try it might be just as fun for you as it was for me. And I've decided to continue to refuse to run from one place to another at Saad maybe someone will wake up and figure out how stupid it is.

Arrived Safely

2009-04-10T11:52:00.002+03:00

"Mama?"

"Yes my boy"

"Everyone here is so nice"

"Really?? You like it?"

"Yea and Baba talked to the head of the army he is going to join."

"What?"

"He talked to the head of the army he is filling out the application."

"He is not!"

"He is too!"

"Put your Baba on the phone!"

Turns out no Mr. Man is not joining the US Army but he met someone on the plane as he always did and exchanged business cards. The man used to be some higher up in the Army I don't know I don't keep up with names at all.

Next morning 10:30 am Saudi time

"Mama did you get my message?"

"No I'm not even out of bed yet what are you doing up?"

"We went to bed early and now I can't sleep"

"Watch some TV they have good shows in America"

"Ok we are"

read the message:

I saw a fat woman and you could see her stomach sticking out and it was funny

Fat ladies please if my son giggles at you consider two things 1. He is used to women in abyas covering their fat 2. perhaps you shouldn't wear a stomach exposing shirt

According to Mr. Man the economy is a hard hit in St. Louis, it is depressing for him to see all that he remembered changed so much in such a short time. One area we were considering looking at St. Peter he was told is not a good place anymore. That it has a lot of crime and the economy has hit them hard as well. Shame it is an area filled with parks, lakes, and many things to do. I know a few people who will be happy to see me come the summer because I plan on shopping till I drop literally not that this comforts Mr. Man any.

Wondering ...

2009-04-09T12:00:00.003+03:00

The next time I see someone blatantly through trash out of their car window while stopped at a red light if I get out, pick it up, knock on their windows and hand it back to them stating "you dropped this" they would get how wrong it is.

How fun it would be the next time I'm in a large store with security guards in Saudi that are wearing sandals, flip flops, or have the heels of their feet hanging out the back of their shoes I make them chase an imaginary villain around the store. Or maybe it would be more fun if I made them chase me and the kids around the store.

If a pulled out a magic marker and proceeded to correct the spelling errors on all government signs posted in Bahrain and Saudi. I figure if you can pay the money it takes to put the signs up at least spell it right. And that I catch the spelling errors means a whole lot. Even I know "where'll" isn't a word.

How fun it would be to get in front of these student drivers who insist on going 40 kmph in a 100 kmph zone on the highways and go 20 kmph to see how they like it.

If I banged on the window and asked the parent driving "Do you even love your kids at all??" when I see the kids climbing all over the seats in their parents expensive cars. And than order the kid to sit the down and buckle up.

If I take one of the umbrellas that these Filipino maids have when I go to pick up my kids from school and beat them in the head with it someone would understand how dangerous they can be. Dodging people smaller than me with big umbrellas that can poke my eye out makes me unfriendly.

The next time my hired help disappears outside talking on the phone, sitting in the grass basking in the sun, or simply walking off when things need to be done I lock them out of the house completely. Think they would get the message because talking to them is as good as talking to a wall.

The next time Mr. Man complains about how much money I'm spending on groceries each week I just go drop off all five kids to his office at dinner time and tell him to feed them yourself. And than refuse to give him the ATM card!

When heading to a check out line a get a complete idiot who can't seem to handle checking out my items one by one without major screw up after another. I get behind the counter and do it myself if I could get my groceries for free.

Anything you been wondering lately?

Big Foot Monster Truck in Bahrain

2009-04-04T14:12:00.022+03:00

Last month I read in the Bahrain Gulf Daily News that there was going to be a monster truck exhibition at the race track in Bahrain. I thought what a great idea and won't Jihad be so excited. The boy always had a love of cars that continues till this day and monster trucks were a part of that love. I had bought him monster truck books, monster truck videos, and one trip to the US Mr. Man brought him back a monster truck t-shirt. With his love of anything animal related, monster trucks, and fishing he is going to fit in well in the mid-west.

We all planned this day out of big intended excitement of a real live monster truck putting on a show. Car crushing action packed adventure that would be sure to woo the crowd who are surely not used to such cars. The gates opened at 12 and we were one of the first there, the entire family with the addition of one of Jihad's friends. The track was to open at 12:30 for open racing of some sort and than at 1pm the monster truck show was to take place. There was also a schedule for a dirt bike show at 2pm and I was ready for a full day out in the brisk cool wet air which was fine with me, better than dry hot and baking under the sun.

12:30 the announcement for the track opening for cars and that is what you hear, the racing. But we were not in the stands the monster truck had a smallish area to perform with old cars already laid out in the center. The truck was there and so was the driver and what I'll assume was his wife.

I gave the kids a snack and Jihad's friend who came with money got all sugared up. I wish parents wouldn't send their children out with money when they are invited with a friend. I never do because I expect that if you invite them you'll provide. The only time this rule is broken if I know the family is struggling and such outings were a rare event but would have difficult time telling a child no you can't have it. Jihad's friend proved my rule to be a good one, his next outing with us I will tell his mother to ensure he keeps his money at home because he had way too much sugar but hard for me to stop him when he sneaks off buying candy, caramel popcorn and sodas.

Needless to say at 1pm I was more than ready for the show to begin. With six kids, one hyped up, the smallest not wanting to be in his stroller, and three girls complaining "when is it going to start" I was getting impatient. 1:15 still no show, Mr. Man finally asks the woman announcer who I couldn't understand a single thing she said into the microphone what the deal was. "Already announced they won't start until 2". Why? mechanical failure with the truck? No truck is fine? Weather? No besides a drizzle there wasn't an issue. Missing something for the show? As we found out latter, no that wasn't it either. "I told you they always start at least an hour late for everything for no reason" Mr. Man says. He doesn't go to the formula 1 races there anymore because he is aggravated by their constant delays.

So we sat 45 minutes more, impatiently, with 2 hyper boys stomping on each others feet, 1 infant who kept wanting to be held, three girls who complained of being cold, hungry, bored, tired of waiting, butt hurts from sitting on the ground, legs hurt from standing and a the while sneaking from the confiscated bag of caramel popcorn. 2pm rolled around and the entire crowd is ready so it begins, well sort of.

After a few tries the truck starts and the engines roar. Umar's face quickly turns to a pout and he cries only Mama's arms will due but these are the same arms that will be taking pictures of the events. But I'm a super mama who can hold a baby and take some half decent pictures. They move the monster truck out on the arena and he starts by chasing what I'll assume is the owner who has too much money, in an over the top club cart.

A couple of laps around the track with waves to the long waiting audience.

Of course I'm moaning to move it on let us see some action. But no, he stops completely, turns the truck off comes out and gives an interview to the big boobed girl that I can't understand anything she says into the mic. Than I felt like I was in the middle of a Peanuts cartoon with the teacher saying "wonk wonk wonk". This did give me a slight break from holding Umar in my arms and allowed me to get situated and squeeze in some other kids up to the front so they could see (not mine). Finally he began!

Over he drove over the old cars sitting in the middle of the arena. Slowly he reved his engine and went over. Once

Twice...

Three times...

Couple of donuts complete with smoke from those big tires.... and..... Finished!!! Yes a whole whopping 15 minutes from the start, when he had trouble starting to the truck, to the circles of the arena complete with waves, the unintelligible interview, three times over the cars, going in circles and finished. I stood there asking "Is that IT???" I couldn't believe it "Someone tell me this is a joke! I feel so cheated!!"

Yup not going to anymore of their shows. There we were all hyped up looking forward to this big bad monster truck and we were left all asking "What???". So we took a walk so the boys could be boys checking out cars.. oh the male brain and a car I just don't get it.

I was ordered to take pictures by the boys. "OHHHHH look at the side of this car!!" How do 10 and 11 year old boys know so much about cars? If Jihad had tests on cars, animals or sports he would be a straight A student.

Evidently the above car is some big deal. A Bugatti, which should mean something to me but it doesn't.

This picture in no way captures truly how ugly this car is. Jet black and I mean not a sparkling black that shines like the night but a dull black kind of like mud. If your going to spend so much money on a car it should look good. After I took a dozen shots of cars that these boys were raving about I went and drooled over the car I'm convincing Mr. Man I should have.

Yes that is a picture of the Hyundai H1. Hey if you had five kids to cart around this would be your dream car too!! Love this color, yup convincing Mr. Man may not be till next year but I can wait.

After this it was just nice to walk along and look at different cars. The kids thought it was fun and being the family we are we shoved them all in a Maserati to take a picture.

All that outdoor air knocked my little man he didn't even wake up for dinner at Apple Bees

House Hunting

2009-03-27T09:13:00.002+03:00

I have been back and forth with Mr. Man for quite a while about his over whelming desire to own a home. While I can completely understand him wanting to own a home I don't always understand the decisions he makes. At first we looked in Bahrain but it was at the height of the housing market increase during the summer. In a matter of two weeks the house we wanted went from 250,000 BD (2.5 million SR over 600,000 USD) to 350,000 BD (over 900,000 USD). The house was perfect but there is no way I was going to be willingly ripped off.

We quickly learned that there are no set standards in the real estate industry in Bahrain. The owner, due to the demand for housing, could simply quote any prices he wanted, go up in prices during talks, and above all else held much of the new buildings going on in the are. Yes one company, or man, would have an area under his control. The six houses that were for sale in the neighborhood and new builds were all from the same guy. Of course this backfired as now they are sitting on so many new homes and you can barely give their property away at the moment.

Than Mr. Man decided on a huge house in Saudi for 2.5 million SR. I felt it was way too much as we already decided to rent a place in Bahrain. But as many women who share their lives with Arab men when they have their mind set on something it is hard to change it. Time has gone on and Mr. Man has heard nothing back on approval he needs to buy the home so I take it as God guiding us in a whole other direction. A direction which will give me a green backyard inshallah.

At this time we are looking in the states for a home, something with an acre or two, a pond or close to a fishing stream would be ideal. Now if you noticed the budget for a house in Saudi you can imagine what kind of property I could get in the US in the region we are looking at.

How about a 60 Acre Lake Retreat???

Or a Water Front Home??

How about this Lake Front Beauty complete with a heated pool??

An Executive Lake Front Dream

I mean who wouldn't want this home? Ladies check out this kitchen!!

But no reason to be greedy, a nice simple home on 5 acres would do just fine

Now before everyone starts packing their bags to come and join me for a summer vacation I should note that my US budget is drastically different than what I would have in Bahrain or Saudi. Even with an 8,000 USD tax credit for a first home buyer like us I'm reduced to about 1/4 of the budget. But considering the US housing market at the moment even with that budget it can go a long way.

5 Bdrms with a Hot Tub on 3 Acres

Besides the price there are a few things this family needs to consider when we are looking at homes in America which didn't factor into our house hunting on this side of the world. The first one is that we are an obviously Muslim family. Not everyone in the country is open to covering women like myself. I know hard to believe right? But it is true, not everyone in the US is friendly and some hold some harsh feelings when it comes to Muslims. Not an easy thing to ask a non Muslim realtor either because honestly they wouldn't have a clue.

Another issue, Mr. Man is an Arab and a black one at that. I know half of you probably didn't even realise it, but it is true. So I have to wonder how a community would look at Mr. Man if I sent him into town alone to pick up milk. I mean will security follow behind him? Will the locals in the community whisper? Will he feel uncomfortable? And the same goes for my lovely children who don't have a prejudiced bone in their little bodies. I would hate to subject them to such things unknowingly, I am a mother likes that her children are a bit protected from the harsh realities of the world, as I think all children should be.

That is not to say country folks are a bunch of hicks with white sheets packed in the back of their pick up. We have lived in various communities, some very small, with out any issues. But it takes just one backward family to make my life miserable and that is not what buying a vacation home is about. So yes country gals flood my comment section or inbox telling me how open and wonderful you are, for I would agree for the majority it is true. I'm sure that most would make some wonderful neighbors who Jihad could entertain for his entire summer vacation and we are looking forward to it. Especially Jihad he has plans already, big plans for American living I don't know if our future neighbors should be worried or not.

Another thing to consider is Umar, yes the smallest package of the bunch will bring about a greater decision. To stay closer to a bigger city, an hour and a half drive is good, and within a good school district. As we aren't sure how his schooling will go in this part of the world I have to prepare for the possibility that our summer home may one day become a permanent one to ensure Umar gets the best opportunities for his life.

We have decided to look in MO as Mr. Man received all his education in that state. I lived there with him for his last semester and it was quite nice. St Louis has a wonderful zoo that Jihad will flip over. There are so many out door things to do that will keep all of us busy and there is more bang for our buck in that state. Something within a 1 1/2 hour driving distance to St Louis, within a good school district and hopefully within a super fabulous neighborhood with loads of boys Jihad's age that will keep him busy for the summer months.

I'm sending both Mr. Man and Jihad to St. Louis for a week to go check out the homes I select online. I know it is a scary thought, those two having the ability to have the final voice on the home I'm going to live in. Yes pray for us as I will need it, so will Mr. Man if he really messes up in this decision. But either way I'm so looking forward to this chapter in our lives. A home, green grass, summer time as I remember for my own children, and a place for us to go to whenever we may need it. I'll keep you updated as we go along. And if you know a property that sounds like it could be for us, keep in mind we need at least 4 bdrm, than drop me a note letting me know.

Happy Birthday Umar

2009-03-23T08:58:00.018+03:00

And it was a good day with loads of cake which Umar found to be great fun just to squeeze it all through his little hands.

Yes we finally did find something that works well with those little pudgy fingers of his. Looks like fun doesn't it? Go ahead, next time you have cake give it a try. Yea I know we aren't all one and I wonder if a soon to be 17 year old like me can get away with a cake squeeze. Yes you read it I finally decided to be 17 instead of my usual 16 this year. I figured at some point I have to grow up, not now of course, but at some point.

Not sure if I mentioned it before but Umar has a love for balls I personally think this is just a guy thing as all tend to have ball issues. Yea I can really go somewhere with that thought but this is a post about a child's b-day party I'll restrain myself. So considering his love of balls I got my boy a small ball pit. Which I might say I went to at least 5 stores to complete this task, what is wrong with Bahrain that they don't sell simple ball pits. During the weekend I was in Saudi and saw nothing but ball pits but didn't want to go through the trouble of bringing it back. HA!! Trouble? Two days latter I made my own with a choo choo train pop up play tent, foam mat squares and two 100 ct bags of balls from 3 different stores. He loved it!

Having several siblings there was no shortage of help for opening presents for a boy who at this point doesn't know what to do with it when put right in front of him. I must say I think he would have been perfectly happy just tossing around a wrapped preset for a bit as the bright colors of the toys-r-us paper was to his liking. In order to avoid the never ending fighting I decided the one who got the present would be the one to open it and that worked out well. Quick hands are also needed to get the paper away from the boy who tries to eat it.

Umar, even though I say is gifted, doesn't know how to read yet. So that was Leyna's job who loves to read books to Umar. Every time she gets a new library book from school she reads it to Umar, he has some terriffic big sisters. She does complain sometimes that he doesn't listen. Not that I have much sympathy in my response "Aggravating isn't it? Now you know how it feels when you don't listen to me!" Never miss a chance mothers to teach children how aggravating they can actually be. She hasn't given up hope that he'll listen to her and I hope that one day I'll be taking pics of him cuddling with his sister as she reads him a story that fascinates him and fills his imagination with wondrous possibilities.

A friend of mine made the cake which I was just going to go buy from a local store. I'm glad that she volunteered as the cakes here I'm not all that happy with. There are several things I miss in the states and nice creamy butter frosting that isn't too sweet is one of them.

She also made him a little blanket which I appreciate more than she knows. This would have been my mothers job, to make Umar a blanket. All of the children have had their own made special by Oma. One when they were born and one latter with their favorite characters on it or something special that personalized the blanket for them. Unfortunately Umar misses out on that and so much more that his Oma would have given him.

Hannah, my dear girl who is just like her Mama, was the photographer. She was serious about her job to. Eventually I would like to get her to take a photography class for I think she would enjoy it. Of course I have to get up and out and start using what I've learned in class. If only there were more hours in the day I could fit all my 'want to dos' in along with all the 'have to dos'.

Jihad was in charge of picking up wrapping paper and putting it in the trace. So not a glamorous job for him I'm sure. But I made it up to him by letting him light the candle, yes indeed I actually put Jihad in charge of fire and the house didn't burn down. Take note at the look on his face too!

As you see birthdays are a small family event. Nothing major, nothing expensive, nothing over the top. The Veiled Chef showed her love with a gift for her 'little man' although she wasn't able to be here. One might notice the absence of Mr. Man, yes he was busy working in Saudi. With five children I've learned long ago that Mr. Man isn't much into these events at all. He has shown for a few but not many. Not that he doesn't care but it just isn't something he was raised with and doesn't put much importance on it. The kids didn't mention his absence so it was normal for them. Now ladies don't get to hard or Mr. Man while I'm house hunting in the US. I think we should fill up the comment section with poor hard working Mr. Man who is so bogged down with work that he has to miss little Umar's party and how he just needs a rest. Time to enjoy his family.. in a new house, with some acres, loads of trees for plenty of shade, walk to a pond or creek for fishing, one floor house like he loves, and close to all the stores where the Mrs likes to shop.

Yes I'm ready to bribe for that sweetening up of Mr. Man with more pics of Umar and cake.

I totally love this pic, it is fun just to find out what you catch latter when you just keep pushing that shutter. This is entitled CHOCOLATE HIGH

*ETA these are not Hannah's pics, she needs more than a class after I viewed them. She needs a miracle but we will get her there.

Twins

2009-03-17T21:57:00.016+03:00

Even though I was taking fertility drugs to become pregnant due to my infertility problems I never expected twins. I will never forget the day I found out because it wasn't something we thought would happen that month. First off Mr. Man was offshore (working on oil rigs in Louisiana) for much of that month and was a 'day late' for our scheduled 'meeting' (this caused issues latter because he has a male mind but that is another post) in order to conceive. The cycle before that month came with disappointment and I figured with him not showing up on time things would end the same.

I took a pregnancy test after when I was late which came up negative so I figured it was only my nerves. My mother was moving in and we were planning our fist trip to Saudi so there was a whole lot going on. I went to my Dr. for some blood work because I thought I was having a thyroid issue as I was soo very tired. Since this runs in the family I wasn't really off in suggesting it and the Dr. took some blood work. We were in Houston getting our visas for Saudi when the Dr. left a message. I had to come in urgently when I returned for further testing. A good way to panic a gal like me.

I went in to the Drs office where I was quickly whisked away for an ultrasound with a technician who learned very well how not to let on a thing. I sat and stared at a screen not knowing what I was looking at and saw some dots but was told to wait for the Dr. My mother at my side we sat and waited for the Dr. to finally spit it out. He said "pregnant" and than quickly followed up with "twins". I was shocked and just sat and listened to the Dr. explaining what I saw on the screen in the ultrasound room and heard my mother repeat over and over "twins?". Her repeating of "twins" continued for two more days, she was honestly in joyful shock.

Oh I was told how hard it would be for both the pregnancy and the raising of twins but still I was so utterly happy about my bundles that no amount of 'bad' things could get me down. My pregnancy was totally uneventful I was even induced at 40 weeks because they were not showing any signs of coming out of my body. At 40 weeks my world was changed with the arrival of Hannah and Jihad, in that order.

For twins they were as unalike as you can get. Each are of a different gender, which means I get to see first hand how gender is in nature not just nurture. Jihad was always hyper and on the go, walking at 10 months and ready to run the next day. Always in something it didn't matter what you did to try and keep him out he got in it. A screamer as an infant, Mr. Man would be off working on a rig all week and his job upon return was to walk Jihad back and forth half the night. He was also destructive, would tear through anything he could get his little hands on and think it was the best thing in the world which drove my mother nuts. Even worse was his inability to handle a car ride. Someone always had to sit behind him and sing wheels on the bus the entire time complete with hand motions.

Hannah was an easy baby, rarely cried or complained except at 5pm on the dot no matter where we were she wanted to be home and cuddled at Mama's boob. She was interested in eating, easy play, cuddles and watching her brother go off like a loon always in trouble. She was such a good easy going baby and continued to develop in that mode as time went on.

Their differences continue till this day, Jihad is very athletic, Hannah not so. Jihad is very social and has dozens of friends, Hannah is quiet and selective about who she invites into her world. Hannah is more accommodating to the needs of others and is a very sensitive child. Jihad on the other hand, while sweet and pure of heart, can be stubborn and strong willed. Hannah is more apt to do as she is told the first time around, Jihad however needs to be reminded time and time again. Both are good kids but still so different many find it hard to believe they are twins.

But as twins I thought there would be this incredible bond that books spoke of. Sure they had a short lived secret language that only they understood but nothing of a top code that couldn't be cracked. They always had someone to play with but their playing style for the most part was much different. Although there were plenty of times they could manage to get in trouble together, it was usually Jihad who thought of the idea and Hannah went along for the fun. For the most part they got along as siblings do but no major bonds I would expect for twins.

There are moments though when Hannah will stand up in full twin mode when you mess with her brother, more so than he does. I'll never forget the day that Jihad was late, yet again, getting home while out playing, so I told him he was not allowed to come back in the house. He sat outside, in the dark, on the porch talking to Hannah who was quite unhappy that he was being kicked out of the house. Although this was the same girl who told me how much he bothered her only hours before and how she wished she didn't have a twin. She brought him juice and sat on the porch devising a plan that will get me to let him back in. But no matter what they came up with I refused to let him back in the house. I just got so tired of him constantly coming in late so I figured kicking him out what a good idea, since outside is where he preferred to be.

After a half hour of secret plans and Hannah consoling her brother who sought her out as a fighter for his cause she started to get really upset and twin defence mode kicked in. She forgot that this was the pain she complained of for this was her brother, a twin, after all. She stood and yelled at me "Your the worst mother in the world!!". I couldn't help but laugh as my dear girl was displaying the deep love she has for her brother although in any normal situation she wouldn't admit it even under torture. Don't worry readers I eventually let the boy back in the house who to this day is rather good about keeping track of checking in when he is told.

There are other moments when the 'twin' reality sets in and each will defend the other. But for the most part they are siblings, of the same age, who will throw the other in the fire in order to avoid any fault of their own. "he" did it or "she" did it isn't uncommon in our house as I'm sure is the case for most siblings. But we are talking twins, where is the text book bonding? Does this look like twin bonding to you?

I keep telling Jihad to stop messing with Hannah because one day she is going to get him. She isn't a small girl he can just push around we are talking about a 5 foot girl weighing a 100 lbs and is as solid as a brick wall. She easily knocks the wind out of Mr. Man when he wants to 'play box' with her. She has punched him in the gut a few times, even with her lack of coordination he was left struggling for a breath. So Jihad smaller than her in every way should realize that she can hurt him, but ya know boys think they are invincible. It will take some super man powers for him to get out from under her once she had him pinned down.

Mind you this started with them running around in circles through the living room and kitchen she screaming "give me it" and he was laughing. "Stop it" just didn't register with these loving twins as she screamed and chased him down to the couch. Their Jeddah (Mr. Mans mother) was there telling them to stop "your brother and sister" but they paid no attention to her pleas and she settled with uttering "astagfirallah" for the rest of the ensuing battle. I being the mother I am I got the camera and took some not so good pics of these two in their moment of twin bonding.

No photography course will teach me how to grab a camera and adjust for a low light action situation while my twin darlings are fighting over who knows what. And I tried to understand what it was Hannah was after through the complaints of Jihad "Get OFF ME", the uttering of Jeddah "Astagfirallah", Naomi our maid laughing with "Hannah Hannah" every two seconds and Hannah yelling "Give it to ME!!". Jihad tried to worm his way out from under Hannah but this girl was not giving way at all. She decided to just lay on him for that ensured the boy was going no where. You would think at some point the boy would wise up and give her what she wanted but no, stubborn as a true Arab male he wasn't going to be pushed around by no girl. Being smothered by one is an option but he wasn't going to give in and admit defeat.

Eleven pics latter I still didn't know what Hannah was after but I was left wondering has this boy learned nothing? I mean has he been totally oblivious to the fact that the females in this family get their way one way or another? And don't dare try to do us wrong by not giving us what you should for we will pin you down just as Hannah has done. Doesn't hurt to grab some hair either, for he really hates that. But still this boy will not give in to what he promised to give her. He would rather be pinned to a floor, kicking with a defiant voice amidst various whimpers of pain than to do the right thing by his sister. Have no doubt that Arab blood runs through this boys veins ladies. And as much as I would like to assure that we will have broken this stubborn spirit of his by the time he marries, with an Arab man there really is no guarantee of that.

Ten more pics latter and quite a distance from where this all started Jihad finally had to come to his senses and give Hannah what he should have long ago. She being an American woman had no problems torturing the same boy whom she would protect from harm caused by others for what she felt was hers. There was no giving up, determined as she was because she felt wronged she rode him like a kicking bull holding on with all her might. She also had no problem gloating and continued to pin him down as she displayed what she worked so hard to get from him. Lesson learned, don't wrong my girls.

What was so important that would pit one twin against another in a physical battle of wills you ask? A piece of gum! So if your expecting twins this is what the books won't tell you so good luck to you.

For Some Good News

2009-03-14T19:21:00.006+03:00

Loads of good things going on with my little man Umar, besides he is the sweetest baby around. First up I think I mentioned before he had a small hole in is heart, not anything specifically relating to his having Down Syndrome. I saw a pediatrician in Bahrain for a cold who mentioned he didn't hear anything in Umar's heart. So I made an appointment at dreaded Saad and he had an echo today, it is so small the Dr. wouldn't consider an issue at all. He showed me the new tissue that is growing which will continue to close the few mm that is left within six months.

I noted before how I was impatiently waiting for a tooth to come in. Well just yesterday don't you know he has a little tooth that has started to show. He has found it quite amusing and keeps twisting his tongue around his front gums to check it out. I'm so relieved that finally he has a tooth I thought I would have to go in there and cut it out myself.

Umar has also decided to start feeding himself which is a big step I was a bit worried. He still won't hold a bottle but his therapist suggested because he just might associate it with him being cuddled which is probably true. My other kids were all great messy eaters very early on, at 5-6 months I could easily put finger foods in front of them for dinner and they would chow down. A mess and something that some parents don't encourage but I do for two reasons. 1. It is good for fine motor skills 2. It leaves me in peace to eat with out an infant yelling at me for more. Umar is now among the pack that is learning mashed potatoes are really cool to play with, peas aren't so easy to pick up, and it is best to mash it in your hand and shove it in. Some goes where it should and he doesn't have to worry about if it doesn't.

Having short pudgy little fingers doesn't make this a small accomplishment. It isn't easy to grab little bits with your hands and keep them long enough to insert them in your mouth. It takes practice, concentration and effort to pick up a single piece of corn and get it to the place of deposit in order to nourish your body. For months I watched as he struggled to pick up a piece of corn, or a pea or even a cheerio from his table. Tried as he might it just kept slipping out of his fingers or he would get it and loose it half way to his mouth. This is a major accomplishment for my little man. Isn't odd how some things make you realize how much you take for granted. ??

He makes that look good doesn't he?? A fine mess he makes and this Mama could care less that he may wear his food or I have to dig rice out of his seat. I am enjoying it as much as he seems to be.

We are also back to Bayzura his physical therapist in Saad hospital. I missed her although I can't say the same for Umar. The price increase isn't as bad, evidently loosing so many patients made someone wake up. What used to be 150 SR and than went to 375 SR is now at a flat rate of 240 SR for his 45 minute therapy session. I decided that my little man needs that extra push that Bayzura knows how to get out of him. Even if he screams the entire time he is still benefiting. I will continue to work with the woman here in Bahrain and do the things at home she suggests. Inshallah all will work together to get that boy where he wants to be in the next few months...standing!

In other big news by little man is going to be 1 on the 22nd. And yes I'm a Muslim who does participate in birthdays and will be having a big family bash for the boy. I expect him to use his new tooth and his new found love of shoving food in his mouth to tackle his piece of the cake. Pictures are expected to be taken by the bucket load to memorialize his first birthday. I generally don't make a major big deal of my kids b-days, it is small and all about the family. But consider my b-day is on the 26th I've decided to go all out and spoil my boy and myself all in one shot.

This one year mark will also bring about an appointment with his pediatrician. At one years of age children with down syndrome have an xray of their neck in order to determine if there is atlantoaxial instability . If the xray comes back as abnormal than he will continue to have xrays to determine if he should be with held from strenuous activities like sports. He will also have a thyroid test to make sure that is functioning properly. And we will also go back for hearing tests to see if anything has developed with the possible slight hearing loss of last time. I think he just ignored the test for he turns to me when he hears me and doesn't see me.

So that is all for the good news today. If you need anything else to cheer you up just take a look at this boys smile. Tell me it just doesn't make you smile!

When Any Decision Seems Wrong

2009-03-09T08:39:00.004+03:00

It was one of those situations which read straight out of a book. A call from a friend who is in immediate fear of her husband needs help. You want to do all you can but than realize how limited the options are when you are a woman, especially a foreign woman, married to a Saudi and living in his land. In an instant your reminded, no matter how comfortable your own world may be, that mothers in Saudi are often left to make one of the most difficult decisions in her life. She has to choose to stay in a home in which she fears for her safety or to leave with her health intact but her children behind.

My heart ached as this mother, my friend, sat in a slump with tears in her eyes and said "I don't see why I'm the one who has to leave my children." No amount of reasoning from any Saudi official can justify the sacrifices of a mother caught in these situations. While there is some hope that a Saudi woman will have some rights to see her children, even if it is only on weekends she at least can remain in the same country. A foreign woman, having no family support in Saudi and no legal right to be in the country besides her husbands sponsorship has to leave the country. Be it in a desperate attempt to save herself from a bad situation or by the force of a husband who no longer wants to remain married to her.

In love thinking 'my husband would never be that' many foreign women land in Saudi Arabia thinking their love will conquer all. While that may hold true for some families it doesn't hold true for all. So what happens when your marriage goes down the tubes and your several children past an easy decision to pick up and leave? What rights do foreign women have in a land that in one breath boasts of family connections and that heaven lies under the feet of ones mothers? Not many to speak of unless you give up your own countries passport and become a Saudi left to fight on your own, with no help from others, be it family too many miles away or friends who simply, out of cultural fear, won't stand up for the weaker in the situation and do the right thing.

I rode in the car along side of my friend wishing I could do more than take her to find a taxi to Bahrain. I felt even worse that I couldn't drive her to the airport myself as the driver didn't have the proper papers. I sat with her as she waited for a taxi, promising to look in on her kids, thinking of ways she can be close to them, possibly return without her husband, and slowly realizing no amount of plans will make any of this right for her. In tears she left like so many other women who have had to make such a difficult choice. Thinking, I'm sure, of only her children, boys who at the age of 21 can finally leave the country on their own not needing their fathers permission, girls who will always need the permission of others. Hopes of a reunion one day in the future, knowing all to well it will be a long time off and in some cases might never even happen.

Nothing I could say or do would comfort my friend. So before you ladies, with hearts full of love and romantic idealism, leave for the land of hot sun and dusty sand ask yourself if you could ever stand to choose between your own sanity and safety and having your children. Unfortunately you too could be making this decision and unlike story books this won't have a happy ending.

Are You Bored And Have Time To Waste?

2009-03-04T11:48:00.002+03:00

Than try calling Saad Specialist Hospital at 96638826666 and ask the operator " Can you connect me to the department where I can get a copy of my sons medical file"

Transferred to half of the hospital, hung up on twice, even asked a supervisor of the operators and he still gave me the wrong extension. Waiting on the miracle that someone is going to call me back from the right department. This promise was made by someone of the administrative staff who got tired of me being transferred to their office. Certainly I'm not holding my breath while doing it but miracles have been known to happen.

This Wouldn't Happen In Saudi

2009-03-01T11:28:00.002+03:00

While in Bahrain a buy Gulf Daily News every day. I admit I'm one of those readers who tends to turn to the reader comment section first, because it is so very entertaining. The writing is much better than Arab News and perhaps the editor there can take a look at GDN for a smaller scale paper like Arab News.

As I sat last night and read through the happenings I came across the story "Bahrain op for boy as appeal fails" February 28th. I saw the photo of a very somber looking family, one of the sons turning away from the camera. The article told of their story, one son, 15, has become progressively deaf since July of last year when he developed a high fever. The family has been in the news before seeking donations to in order to have their son treated with an operation in the US. They were looking to raise 25,000 BD (67,000 USD) in order to achieve this goal. Unfortunately they raised a mere 650 BD (1730 USD) not nearly enough.

The family is from Pakistan and that is the citizenship they hold. The Pakistani embassy on hearing their story offered to support the family if they went back to Pakistan for the operation. However the family refused the offer and opted to stay in Bahrain. At some point they decided to take up an offer by a Dr. Jamal at Salmaniya Medical Complex which is a Bahrain government hospital. The same hospital that has a bed shortage to the point were several people with sickle cell died waiting for a bed.

This same short supplied hospital has offered to help the family, partially. They will do the actual operation, care for him, and take him through rehabilitation for free. But the family has to pay for the actual implant device that they need which costs 25,000 BD (6700 USD). Seems like a decent enough compromise especially if the hospital is not in the financial position to do it all at their cost. However this is a family that has hit hard monetary times as the father has lost his job and they are dependent on the charity of others for day to day survival.

What made me sit straight up in bed and scream "WHAT???" is that "Mr. Aziz (the father) is originally from Pakistan, but has been living in Bahrain illegally for 35 years and had hoped to be granted Bahrani citizenship to entitle the family to government support"

First I am amazed that a family in such dire straights that 1. they depend on charity to live on 2. they are illegally in a country 3. the husband has no work, that they would turn down an offer from their own country representatives for the help their son needs. Is the desire to have Bahrani citizenship so strong you'll deny your son hearing? As a mother I just can't believe a parent would do that and than have the nerve to seek donations for help in order to fulfill their wants.

I told this story to Mr. Man and I said "not in Saudi" this simply would never happen there. The boy would have never been offered treatment at a government hospital as an illegal. Although the treatment could be offered to a legal resident they would never be asked to pay for the device needed. But no illegal can get medical care at a government hospital unless you've been arrested first and your facing deportation.

In fact I don't think officials would give this family a chance to turn down the offer from the Pakistani government. They would have found the family, arrested them, arranged for deportation and the official story version would be that "Saudi authorities work along side the Pakistani Embassy to return the family home for son's medical treatment".

Mr. Man Redeemed Himself

2009-02-27T15:53:00.005+03:00

After the post about his snoring Mr. Man decided to redeem himself. This weekend, the last weekend of the month, I stay in Bahrain. The kids tend to enjoy it, especially Jihad and it gives them a chance to play outside with no real time restraints and truth be told it is much more relaxing for me. However Mr. Man doesn't like Bahrain, contrary to what some people think not every Saudi guy wants to come over to Bahrain and get drunk. And this is basically what Mr. Man equates Bahrain with, a bunch of drunks. I know not fair at all but he prefers to be in Saudi and that is his choice.

This weekend he took Umar, Mariam and Hannah to Saudi and I stayed in Bahrain with Jihad and Leyna. Yesterday we went to dinner, it was less hectic with only two and tried to see a movie. However with half of the Saudi, Kuwaiti, and Qatari population deciding this weekend was the best time to see movies in Bahrain we were out of luck. So we rented three movies, stayed up late and ate too much chocolate. It was nice nights sleep, I only woke up once when Leyna decided to join me in my bed and I slept in. With only two they can pour their own cereal and I don't have to be bothered so much.

I also did what I haven't done in a long time... scrapped! I miss it. The creative outlet for me is a necessity and lately I've been feeling like a major slacker for not doing more. I hardly take pictures anymore, I'm not sure why, and I've hit an all time low in slumpville. I didn't create anything spectacular, just a simple LO that took me too long to finish but it did a least spark a desire to do more.

Perhaps Mr. Man noticed that I don't get much sleep and it really isn't fair. Or perhaps he decided to be a great husband thinking only of his wife. Or perhaps his motive was entirely selfish, not wanting to stay in Bahrain and have Umar all at the same time. Whatever it was I'm sure glad he decided to give me some time, it was nice of him. Now if I can only get more weekends like this, next time with absolutely no kids around and do it at a spa than Mr. Man would be super husband of the year!! (yes Mr. Man take that as a hint)

I even completed a second one!! I really do need more time like this.

I Lived With Roaches

2009-02-26T08:17:00.003+03:00

It was shortly before the birth of Umar that roaches started to appear in our kitchen when we lived in our villa at Oasis. At first it wasn't so bad, one or two and you can easily kill them off. But as roaches are, before you know it there are several dozen scampering around your kitchen in no time. Before Umar was born we called the compound maintenance who have their own pesticides and they sprayed, or should I say, drowned our kitchen in their stinky liquids and told us "Don't use the kitchen for 24 hours" and he assured us all the roaches would be gone.

I had to clean up puddles of the spray that this worker left behind but I had hoped the roaches were gone. Of course they weren't for they showed their ugly little faces when I opened a cabinet to clean up the gallons of spray the pesticide man left behind. Over the course of several months our kitchen was quickly overtaken by a gang of Saudi roaches that had me jumping in fear and disgust. I admit it roaches freak me out and I'm not ashamed to scream when I spot one.

I tried to kill the roaches many times even on my own at night armed with a few cans of Raid and seeking those suckers out. One night I woke Jihad up from his sleep to come and see what Mama did. He stood in amazement over the literally dozens upon dozens of roaches that I killed underneath the sink. Of course he thought I was a bit crazy for waking him up to see it and I'm sure he dreamed of roaches that night.

I cleared out everything from the kitchen twice after moving to Bahrain and had the men come and spray again. I waited until we were all able to leave the house as I had an additional newborn to our family and I was weary of their pesticides. I was warned from a friend after moving to Saudi that some of the pesticides used in Saudi are banned in the US. I was assured by the compound that everything was safe that they used and being associated with a hospital I would assume it was. Other compounds however I never trusted and used off the shelf American brands of caned spray from the grocery store if we encountered an ant issue.

As we were moving some of the guys helping in the kitchen were laughing as I freaked out at the sight of the roaches as they secretly hid under a table top trying to catch a ride to Bahrain. By that time I had enough of them and couldn't take it no more. It got so bad that every time I opened a cupboard I stepped back waiting for a roach to pop out at me. It remained so bad because of the house construction, there was a huge gap between the walls and the cupboards that the roaches I'm sure had a happy well supplied home. There was also a section under the stove that was filled with dirt that spilled out through a crack at the base. I tell you any US home inspector would have a field day in that kitchen.

Due to the construction it would be very difficult to just spray and think the roaches would die. In fact I could swear they multiplied with each spraying. Our villa also shared one wall with a villa next door. And I had no doubt that our roach army would take refuge in his kitchen while we sprayed. As I had a walk through with the compound management I told him how bad it was and that the entire kitchen needed to be gutted in order to get rid of them.

When good intentioned friends from Saudi would mention a pesticide I could buy to get rid of them all I shook my head with a firm NO WAY. Curiously they asked why and I explained that I have children and pesticides can be dangerous enough to kill them. All would nod their hands in agreement and understood that I was a bit limited as to my options. Since we were planning on moving I knew it was a temporary situation and could go on. If I wasn't going to move I would have had the compound gut the entire kitchen over the summer and get rid of them. (when you pay the rent we did I could easily have demanded it)

Earlier this week two Danish children died due to pesticide poisoning. A neighbor in their compound left on vacation and had the compound hire a company to rid them of their roach problem. The compound did what anyone would do, call a pesticide company who treats residential homes in order to get rid of the roaches. They were told to keep the home empty for at least 72 hours and it wasn't an issue since the residents of that villa were gone on vacation and the neighbors were gone as well. It was a duplex so one had to assume what can be in one house can be in another in regards to fumes and bugs.

Unfortunately the family next door returned and no one had enough common sense to tell them about the fumigation going on next door. I'd assume that the pesticide company knew it was deadly hence their orders to have the villa vacated for 72 hours. The family went home, went to sleep, and the next morning rushed to the hospital were tragically their two children 2 and 6 died. Even more tragically they aren't the first in the past couple of years to have died from pesticide use.

In 2005 50 people were hospitalized after a fruit market sprayed pesticide ironically enough it was health officials who did the spraying. A Pakistani family of six died in Riyadh in June 2007 after they fumigated their house and return the same day. The next month, July 2007, an expert called for the removal of various pesticides from markets and that people should rely on 'professional' companies in the Kingdom, like what the compound in Jeddah did and two children died. Tragedy that a family of six would die, I mean ideally in a common sense world a country would rise up and say that a family of six was too many and we need to do something. I said long ago common sense doesn't live here, evidently he can't get the proper visas.

In August of 2007 two Egyptian girls, 4 and 6, died after their father tried to make their nights more comfortable without bed bugs. In August of 2007 3 Indian children died after a neighbor sprayed with a pesticide. In November of 2007 a Filipino woman died of pesticide poisoning. In 2008 three Pakistani children died in Madina due to pesticide poisoning after their parents bought it from the local market. A month latter the parents were fighting to get the bodies of their dead children from Saudi officials who were eventually buried in October 2008. Two Ethiopian boys died just this January and now two Danish children died.

Now that two children of a right nationality died perhaps proper action will be taken to monitor pesticide use and sales. And I don't mean detaining two lowly immigrant workers of an extermination company. The workers only used what was supplied by the company and I'm sure had no real training experience other than on the job "spray this and that". Most likely their chemical knowledge was only what they were told by their employer. And somewhere down the line I'm sure there is someone who really knows that certain chemicals should not be used in a home. I'm sure there may be someone trained and would not only know to secure the ventilation of a home so fumes don't get out but how to do so. I'm sure that there are people who knew but choose to ignore the dangers because they could in a country where the chances of getting caught were slim.

As horrible as it is the deaths of these two Danish children are, it might ensure that other children won't die in the Kingdom due to pesticide use. Personally I chose to live with roaches rather than subject my family to possible death due to the unregulated use of pesticides in the country.

ETA The government is banning certain pestacides in the Kingdom due to the deaths of the two Danish children. This is a good first step, further regulations of outlets that sell various pesticides and chemicals needs to be monitored. Enforcement of said bans with fines, and even jail time for violators (not lowly Indian workers either) is also a necessary step. Holding outlets responsible if their sales cause someones death is also a major step that would really get shop owners to stop and think before they choose to ignore the bans with blood money and jail time is also a needed step.

T 21 Traveling Afghan

2009-02-24T08:12:00.003+03:00

Doing a blog search on Down Syndrome the other day I cam across the Little Miss E blog. It is like many other blogs that I've come across the past few months, a personal one started by a parent, usually the mother, to share with the world what life with DS really is about. I often wonder if most parents who have children with various developmental issues become instant advocates as it seems to be within the DS community.

I have learned quickly that I must become an advocate for Umar simply because the services aren't really here. I will have to fight schools to accept him, if he is up for it, and have already planned out a course of action. If it works will be a whole other issue. I became not only an aware parent but one that is willing to swim against the tide when it comes to the benefit of Umar in a country and culture that isn't in his favor. I do it because I must, but I question if it is something that I would do if I lived in the US where so many services are available.

I think the older kids are having a tough time understanding what DS really is. They ask, we talk, I explain but Hannah is stuck with fears which leave here constantly saying "I wish Umar didn't have DS" to which my reply is "Than he wouldn't be Umar". Jihad thinks that anyone who looks a bit different to him has DS but hasn't grasped that it is the nature of Umar that will be different. He insists that Umar will grow up to kick butt like him (let's all thank Mr. Man) and simply doesn't grasp that it won't be in his nature, his core being, to be mean and seek to kick butt to those that offend him.

I'm finding from talking to a few other moms that our children will have a lonely walk in these countries (Saudi and Bahrain). That they will find themselves the odd ones out and when they look around it is hard to find someone else like them. It is difficult because there is a lack of proper organizations that seek to bring families together, because schools don't mainstream even if children can make the grade, there still a large social taboo, governments have failed to service individuals and families with special needs, and those that can, leave to seek services in other countries those that can't tend to find themselves alone.

So as an instant advocate how does one share with their children that Umar isn't alone, that there are so many in the world just like him? How do I get my children to accept what DS is when I find a hard time putting other faces to the term? How can I, in a very lonely place when it comes to DS support find myself surrounded by so many other families like us? With an idea of a traveling afghan is how.

Quite simple, an afghan is going to travel the globe to families who have a member with DS. It will stay with one family for a bit, an entry in an accompanied journal will be made and it will be shipped off to the next family. Each new family does the same and gets to see the growing entries in the journal. We are on this list and hopefully the journal will have quite a few entries in it before we receive it. This way my kids will see there are many other individuals who have DS in the world and it will no longer feel like it is something so strange and unknown. They can put real faces to a term and figure out things are O.K.

Interested in joining? Simply click the image above.